


A heart full of grace, A soul generated by love and defiance that redeem.

by Chaam



Category: Yuri!!! on Ice (Anime)
Genre: Acts of Kindness, Blood and Torture, Bromance, Dissociative Identity Disorder, Family Drama, Forgiveness, Gen, Gun Violence, Kidnapping, Love Confessions, M/M, Mental Health Issues, Other, Unrequited Love, kind of Mafia
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-01-18
Updated: 2019-07-05
Packaged: 2019-10-12 02:08:49
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 17
Words: 69,992
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17458586
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Chaam/pseuds/Chaam
Summary: A forgotten chapter in Viktor's life comes to play devil and Yuuri is the pray. When the devil takes Yuuri along with him, Viktor fights to save Yuuri and Yuuri decides to save the devil as well.“Darkness cannot drive out darkness: only light can do that. Hate cannot drive out hate: only love can do that.”





	1. Before hell broke loose.

**Author's Note:**

> I've been working on this for a while now, forcing my self to finish this before I post any chapters but the anticipation for the movie is killing me so here I am.  
> This is placed after about one month in to Yuuri's move to live in Russia. Yuuri has yet to wrap his head around how he actually feels about what's between him and Viktor, while a love sick Viktor is waiting Yuuri to do just that.  
> Also, I've taken the liberty to have my own take on Viktor's back story and new characters are introduced.  
> DID - Dissociative Identity Disorder plays a role in this and I've done my fair share of research on that. Some of what I found out kept me up in the night-which is a very rare thing for me. It only made me wish that people, including me, were more attentive to the struggles of those who are fighting with mental health issues, so that there will be a helping hand close by when ever any of us fully fail.

 

Yuuri is abnormally silent.

The occasional honk of a vehicle passing them by penetrates through the metal and glass of Viktor’s vehicle disturbing the cold silence shared between them; because Yuuri is silent and his demeanor stops Viktor from starting a conversation.

Perhaps Viktor took the situation too lightly.

From the way Yuuri behaved, Viktor concluded it was the first time Yuuri ever stepped in to a police station.

_The police station._

There is a first time for everything they say and Viktor can only hope that Yuuri will get used to it and it will not affect his training. But Yuuri is looking out the window for a period unfitting for Viktor’s liking and is a clear sign that he is avoiding peace talk.

Still, Viktor knows Yuuri like the back of his hand. It’s never a good idea to let Yuuri’s mind wonder in silent suffering. So after suffering Yuuri’s silence to his maximum limit, Viktor calls him.

"Yuuri, are you mad at me?"

Viktor is treated to a persistent silence and he does his best to drive the vehicle in the annoying silence. The raven hair is hiding Yuuri's features as he keeps gazing out the window. He keeps patting the glass with a finger where small petals of snow are stuck outside of the window. Yuuri is a sight to sore eyes even in his current pissed off state and this only urges Viktor to know the true feelings running in Yuuri's head. He realizes that he has to have a talk with Yuuri before he drives the car to a wall. So Victor pulls the car to the side and kills the engine.

“Now what?" Yuuri asks clearly annoyed, still not moving his gaze from the window, knowing very well he is delivering ultimate torture to Viktor.

“Oh! Thank all skating gods, you can talk" Viktor exclaims with animated hands.

Yuuri tries to hide the frustration he feels but his face betrays him. As he glances at Viktor for the first time since they got in to the car, Yuuri's face bares every emotion that runs through his head; fear, anger, frustration and a thousand more feelings even Yuuri cannot put his finger on, feelings so raw and rampant that Viktor doesn't even have to try to read his face to know them. Viktor only wants to bring back Yuuri's smile with and the pink blush that he is dangerously addicted to but the situation is dire. He knows his decision has hurt Yuuri and it breaks his heart. But Viktor cannot regret what he did. It was the best thing to do for _his Yuuri_.

"I'm sorry" Yuuri says with a heavy sigh, and fixes his eyes at the car's carpets, away from Viktor, again. "I'm just worried for your safety, that's all"

"Oh! Dear Yuuri, I know, but...? Viktor inquires peering in to Yuuri's view. “Sure you're not mad at me?"

Yuuri knows Victor can read him like a book. He's glad about it most of the time...most of the time because he is not good with words all the time. But in moments like this he just wish he could be a closed book.

"Fine, I'm mad at you too, stupid Victor trying to be a hero" he spats out his anger at Victor. “It’s just that, you’ve done so much for me and I don’t want you in trouble because of me. Why can’t we just loose one gold if it means you are safe?”

Yuuri immediately regrets when he see Victors face fall, like Yuuri threw a stone at him. Yuuri immediately starts melting, regretting everything he said whether they were right or wrong.

"I'm so sorry" Yuuri apologizes again, louder than necessary and wonders how many times he will repeat this 'snap at Victor-apologize-then repeat' circle to day. All because he answered a call meant for Viktor and ever since then, his anxiety's got the best of him.

Few hours ago, had been the best morning though.

 

 

 The weather had decided to surprise them by not snowing for full 24 hours.

Yuri loves snow. He had just come out of the bathroom when snowing restarted and he ran outside to actually feel it on his skin. The moment Viktor heard feet thumping through the hallway he knew what Yuuri was up to, this wasn't the first time.

Viktor left the breakfast preparations and followed him, then stopped at the door and got lost in the sight that was Yuuri; without a care in the world, beautifully pink and basking in the snow. Only his towel covering up his lower body and baring the well sculpted chest to the snow. The joy that had spread over Yuuri over a simple snow fall was difficult for Viktor to apprehend. He just absorbed it as another one of _his Yuuri’s_ antics that he cherished.

But ever the coach Victor was, he recovers his wits quickly and considered sending a warning at Yuuri's way about catching up a cold. But then decided against it. Yuuri was a grown man, so no matter how protective Viktor felt, he had to trust Yuuri and hope that he will know his limit to enjoying the snow before catching a cold.

“Viktor, come and join" Yuuri invited oblivious to the blush dancing on Viktor's cheeks, his blood pumping everywhere in his body with a sudden urgency. "Thanks, but I'll pass" he manage to politely reject the offer for his dignity's sake and returned to the kitchen.

By the time he was done with the breakfast Viktor knocked on the shared bathroom door hoping Yuuri had finished his second bath after the impromptu snow dance. What he never expected to find was Yuuri to be answering his phone with the bathroom door hanging mid open between them. Viktor had forgotten his phone inside the bathroom when he took his morning shower and now Yuuri was in his towel, Viktor's phone pressed against his ear looking like he is listening to the ramble of a ghost. Judging from the look, Viktor knew very well who should be on the other side of the call. So he snapped the phone out of Yuuri’s hands and disconnected the call promptly, pushing it down his jean pocket.

"What the hell was that?" Yuuri questioned stunned. "Or more correctly, who the hell was that?"

Viktor stopped midway debating how to answer but left without answering at all. He could hear Yuuri following him close behind. Viktor silently sat at the table and stared at his breakfast.

"Viktor!" Yuuri repeated weakly.

Viktor expected him to shout at him, start an argument so they could both forget why they started it by the time they finished it. But all he head was Yuuri's weak plea, almost at the verge of tears.

Clearly he had heard enough of the secret Viktor had been keeping. Viktor decided to talk and put down the sandwich he was holding.

"Why did you answer my private phone?" Viktor still asked angrily trying to stall the oncoming questioner from Yuuri, not meeting Yuuri's eyes.

They both knew Viktor didn't really mean it. In fact Yuuri answering Viktor's phone had become a norm because Viktor kept forgetting where he kept it. When the ringtone is all over the house and Viktor starts fishing for his phone, Yuuri is always the first one to find it, may it be on the kitchen counter, in the bathroom, on the book shelf or under the sofa, and Yuuri answers it as soon as he finds it before the call is dead.

Viktor doesn't mind Yuuri answering his phone at all. For him it is a chance to show off his prized possession – Yuuri Katsuki, to showcase the fact that he's got him, near him, by his side, answering his private phone, like a dog who mark its territory to demonstrate ownership of its space.

Makka would understand.

So when Viktor accuse him of answering his private phone, Yuuri doesn’t even bat an eyelid to acknowledge the accusation and Viktor was relieved.

"How much did you hear" he finally asked accepting defeat.

"Everything" Yuuri said shakily. "They want you to make sure I don't get to the Gold medal this year" Yuuri declared proving he heard everything. "They also said this was the last reminder and to get back to them with your answer before evening"

So, Yuuri has heard everything. Viktor realized hating himself for forgetting his phone so easily when he had a secret to keep. Why couldn't the bastard recognize it wasn't Viktor who said 'Hello' to his phone?

"Viktor, tell me everything..." Yuuri pleaded again and sat down next to Viktor. "Whatever this is, we are going to go through this together" he assured as he placed his hand on Viktor’s arm, ever so slightly.

Viktor let out a sigh and deflated, then took a breath to calm down while Yuuri waited trying his best to not show how close he was to self-explode with nervousness.

"I didn't mean to hide anything from you, but I could say I didn't know any better" Viktor admitted and Yuuri nodded in understanding although he had no idea of what is going on.

"I got the first call two weeks ago. They were saying the same thing, flub your program, do something to your skates right before the final, anything that will destroy you on the ice."

"If not" Yuuri asked while fear slowly crept its claws in to his brain.

"I don't know what they meant exactly, but they said it would be something I will regret,"

Yuuri shuddered upon hearing this, his grip on Viktor's arm tightening. But Viktor doesn’t look like he was bothered at all.

"So," he continued “First, I thought it was a joke, then they called a second time, and told me, they were bettors-albeit illegal I presume, and that if you win gold he was going to lose a lot of money. He didn't think I could be persuaded by money, but he thought fear of death might be a good candidate. When they called a third time, I asked them to stop whatever the joke they are doing-in different wordings though.” Viktor adds.” And they decided to prove themselves to me”

“Oh my god Viktor”, Yuuri said realization dawning, “yesterday, when a car almost hit you, on the way to the rink, that was them?”

“Yes,” Viktor agreed. “So I guess they can actually kill me if they want to".

Yuuri hitched his breath shocked. Not just by the tsunami of information flowing from Viktor but also by his utter indifference to the gravity of the situation.

"You should be proud my Yuuri, someone bet a lot of money that you will win gold this time. If I am a bettor, I would bet everything I have without a second though that you will win”

"I’m flattered, really Viktor, but a bet involves two parties and this person or bettor who is calling you, also bet a lot of money that I won't." Yuuri argues hoping to talk some sense to Viktor. “And he is willing to murder.”

"Yeah, but now he is trying to get me to flub you, which means even he believes that you will win gold. Maybe he had a few flutes of champagne in when he made the bet, but now that he is sober..."

Yuuri winced recognizing the reference, “not funny at all Viktor”.

Viktor gave him his famous wink as a reply, and a moment passed between them while Viktor chew in to his sandwich and Yuuri tried to get his head in the right place.

“But why wouldn’t they just ask me to sabotage myself? In exchange of my own life? Why are they asking you to do it?” isn’t it the easiest way?

“I too wondered about it” Viktor says. “Not that I want them to do it” He quickly added. “But if they are who they say they are, then they should have figured that out too, right? If they are taking a risk by involving me in it, there should be a reason. The only reason I could come up with is, it’s just business for them. If you just lose gold it’s not that tabloid worthy. Athletes lose their gold goals all the time.”

Yuuri stares at Viktor not having the faintest idea of where Viktor is going with this and Viktor fully turns to him, taking his student’s hand in his.

“You may not have noticed Yuuri, but we are a quite famous pair of coach and student. I believe they want to pit us against each other. Create a scandal. Don’t forget, we are going to compete with each other in the next season. _Viktor Nikiforov back stabs his own protégé Yuuri Katsuki - exclusively on ‘xyz’ tabloid._ ” Viktor echoes the possible news heading. “Sounds very profitable to me”

“That’s disgusting!” Yuuri straightened up pulling his hand out of Viktor’s safety, unable to believe what Viktor was saying.  It was just too dramatic for Yuuri’s Skating-only-focused mind to accept and Viktor saw the hesitation.

“I came to that conclusion because they wanted to know what I’m going to do exactly. What, when, where and a photo proof. Why do they need all that info if only they want is to win a bet?”

“They are trying to trap you!” Yuuri exclaimed. “And that means they are not just winning the bet but earning profits too. They are going to sell the story!”

“Yeah. I figured that much.” Viktor stated humorlessly.

During the full minute silence that passed next, Yuuri felt the air run out of oxygen and suffocate him. He took his usual calming deep breath and settled in his chair escalating the discussion to the next level, knowing very well he won’t like Viktor’s plan. “So, what are you planning to do?”

“Well, one of the very first things they said was not to contact the police. Now that they have given me their last warning, that’s the first thing I’m going to do, I’m going to the police station and lodge a complaint. I have a friend in the nearest station, he’ll save us a lot of time. But after my tasty sandwich of course.” he said taking a bite. ”You should put on some clothes and grab a bite, they will need your input about the today’s call”

Yuuri gave it a thought for a moment, like really gave it a thought while Viktor continued to savor his sandwich like it was the only thing that mattered. Yuuri knew right then Viktor had made his decision, but he at least had to try. A thought strike him as Viktor pushed his plate of sandwiches at Yuuri.

“Viktor you can’t go to the police.” Yuuri said concluding and Viktor looked at him like he was being ridiculed.

“These peoples will kill you, they already almost did,” Yuuri reasoned while Viktor’s mumbled protests fell on Yuuri’s deaf ears.

“Viktor I can’t let you risk your life and I can’t let them trap you either. So I’ll do something about it myself. I will destroy my own program and we’ll strike a deal with them. I’ll call them myself, give me back your phone!”

“Did the snow do something to your head?” Viktor laughed ruffing Yuuri’s hair pretending to search if Yuuri’s brain was still there while Yuuri sat slumped helpless. “Don’t you get the simple idea behind this? If they kill me, they get no story! Which means they are only threatening to kill me, won’t execute that for real!”

“My head is fine!” Yuuri took Viktor’s hand out of his wet hair and placed it on the table, but their hands still lingered in each other’s.

“They would still win the bet. If something happens to you, I will become a horrible mess and won’t even be able to wear the skates right, let alone winning gold! Don’t you get it Viktor? It’s a win-win for them.”

Viktor had given Yuuri a long look of assessing, wondering if Yuuri was becoming too dependent on him, but he only saw so much longing and true affection in his student’s eyes that his heart skipped a beat, realizing that in return, there is nothing he wouldn’t do for Yuuri.

If there is something Viktor knew about coaching even before he became a coach was that, being a coach entailed the unpleasant duty of telling your student what they don’t want to hear, showing what they don’t want to see, pushing them to do what they thought they couldn’t do, so they could become what they always knew they could be. Yuuri may think he is weak without Viktor, but Viktor only saw another opportunity to show Yuuri how strong he could be.

So, from that moment onwards, in Yuuri’s perspective, it had been pure abuse at Viktor’s hands. His coach pushed him to dress up, dragged him to the car without a care for his growling stomach and then locked him inside until they reached the police station. After the complaint was lodged, which thankfully happened quickly with the help of Viktor’s friend, here they were, heading back not to their home, but the rink, having a very heated moment inside the car despite the snowing outside.

“Yuuri, you need to understand why I really did it, it has nothing to do with…I mean, I’m not a stupid hero, I’m just trying to do the not-coward-thing here” Viktor tries to explain and Yuuri silently listens.

“If you consider this matter carefully, you will understand that this isn’t just about us. This is about all the skaters. Say, this year you flub your program, but what happens next year, what if they attract to Yurio? Mila, Georgie?

Yuuri looks at Viktor horrified. He hasn’t thought about it. All he though was ‘what-if’ scenarios with Viktor in it. But now the whole bunch from Yurio to Seung Gill is there. Through the images, he hears Viktor’s daring-do voice.

“If we don’t give in to them, at the least they will think twice before they do it again. Hopefully with the help from the police, we might be able to stop it for good this time, don’t you think so Yuuri? Besides the police said they will come and tap our phones as soon as possible. They also arranged to give us a police guard until the matter is resolved. That’s pretty safe don’t you think?”

“Police guard sounds good. I didn’t hear that part actually,” Yuuri admits feeling a teeny bit good about visiting the police.

“Of course not, you went in to the car fuming as soon as you finished your statement!”

Yuuri has to agree. He did storm out of the police station. He also has to agree that Viktor is right. But the what-if scenarios wouldn’t stop playing in his mind. Maybe Pittchit made him watch too many crime movies. But Yuuri doesn’t want to play the brave one right now, he just wish he could be the selfish one for once in his life and save both of them. But obviously, Viktor seems to have the whole lot of next generation of skaters in his mind.

“I agree with you Viktor, I understand why you are doing this, but-“

“Hold it there Yuuri, hold it right there. If you understand me, that’s enough for me.” Viktor says putting an end to the discussion and starts the engine. 

So Yuuri sinks in to the seat and put on his ear pods and play his music for his program. Now that he can’t indulge in the luxury of not having to win Gold, he has to spend every possible minute with his skating program, in or out of the rink.

“You weren’t secretly entertaining the idea that you don’t have to bother about winning gold at worlds, were you?” Viktor asks smirking at him.

Yuuri sinks further in to his seat. Oh, how he wish he could be a closed book!

 

 That night Viktor is turning on his bed trying different positions, his usual line of thoughts streaming in his head, ranging from ‘ _What did he actually mean by the ring?,'_   To ‘ _did I give Makka enough exercises this week?'_ and back to _‘Maybe it is just a lucky charm just as he say’._

Viktor’s train of thought is disturbed when his door is banged opened with just one knock, and there stands the one Yuuri Katsuki, complete with the full package of rumpled sleep clothes and disheveled hair, which would have looked cute some other time had he wasn’t invading Viktor’s room in the middle of the night.

“God, Yuuri, give a man a second before you open a door, thankfully I’m descent right now” Viktor complains.

“I want to take it back” Yuuri declares with no care.

“What do you mean, you want your ring back?” Viktor asks horrified, all his dreams crumbling. He sits up on the bed like a bolt.

“No, no, no, no!” Yuuri rejects vehemently. “We should take back our complaint we lodged at the police, Viktor, these people must be really dangerous, and I can’t get my mind off of how he talked over the phone. If he is so terrifying over the phone, what if he comes to kill for real”

“Yuuri it’s too late now, there is an undercover police escort right outside our house, and our phones are tapped. We can’t go back now! Besides he can’t kill us, he has a bet to ride”

Yuuri sits at the edge of his bed. His hands grind in to the rumpled bed sheet.  

“I know I’m supposed to act like a twenty five year old man, but it’s _you_ in danger here, not me. Viktor…you know I can’t see you hurt” Yuuri’s murmur is barely audible even in the dead of the night. Viktor pauses breathing for a moment and wonders if answers to all his thoughts were lying in that statement. He considers closing in on the gap and kiss away all of Yuuri’s doubts. But Yuuri is upset now, upset that Viktor will get hurt. What he needs is assurance. So he reaches in and takes Yuuri’s hand and pulls him slightly.

 “Come here”.

Yuuri scoots on to his bed slowly and Viktor pulls him in one heap, deposits him on the other side of the bed. A single tear falls down on Yuuri’s cheek that Viktor almost missed hadn’t he been so close.

“Nothing is going to happen to me, I’m here, and I’ll be with you as long as you want me. In any form you want me.”

Viktor can’t help but leave hints on the way hoping the dense Yuuri will pick them up, _any form you want me_.

“Yuuri, do you regret coming to Russia?” He asks while pulling up the covers over Yuuri.

“What? Viktor no!” Yuuri immediately clarifies. “You can’t have a country without a few losers in it right?

“I guess so.’ Viktor agrees closing the gap between their bodies as decently as possible.

“Whatever it takes, I promise you I will not let these sadistic losers win” he continues waving off Yuuri’s worries and spooning him. Yuuri, who is now pretty used to Viktor’s outrageous display of physical and verbal affection, lets him have it without as much as a flinch.

“Let’s get some good night’s sleep or we’ll be crappy on ice tomorrow, yeah? Coach Yaakov has a lot of catching up to do with me, especially in the ‘shouting at Vitya’s face’ department!”

“You forgot again, didn’t you” Yuuri accuses him recovering from his midnight crisis. ”I’m supposed to go to the Embassy tomorrow”

“What can I do?” Viktor says cooing, almost asleep in Yuuri’s comfortable warmth. **“I’ve taken it for granted that you’ll always be with me”.**

 


	2. Hell breaks loose.

Yuuri only has had just enough time to practice the most basic and must have Russian needed to get himself from a place A to a place B. His lack of Russian driving license had kept himself from driving Viktor’s SUV or to his dismay, the bike – bike as in Harley Davidson. So far Viktor had not encouraged him with either of these vehicles considering that Yuuri has yet to familiarize himself with the roads, language and traffic rules as a foreigner. He has always used public transport in rare occasions where Viktor isn’t around to accompany him, like today when Yuuri had to be at the Embassy to sort out an ambiguous document matter while Viktor had to meet with a sponsor. And now as he gets off the bus, relieved that the journey went without any incident, Yuuri wonders what he should do next. The stay at the embassy has been shorter than he had anticipated and he is left with more than half the day in his hands.

Yuuri is itching to go to the rink and practice, but debates if his presence will disturb Viktor who should be practicing with Yaakov right now after the sponsor meeting. Usually when Yuuri share the rink, Viktor has a habit of picking up every mistake Yuuri does and shouts at the top of his lungs to point them out to Yuuri. The sound waves have to pass many ears of other Russians before they reach Yuuri’s and more often than not Yuuri had been needing the ice to swallow himself up whole with embarrassment. Victor is obnoxious when he wants to be! That much Yuuri had learnt. To make the matters worse Yaakov starts shouting at Viktor to stop deviating his attention to Yuuri. When it wouldn’t stop, Yaakov redirect his verbal abuse to Yuuri to get his skating together so he could coach Viktor properly.  Therefore Yuuri had resolved that Viktor should not coach and practice simultaneously, one thing at a time. In short there is no way he is sharing the ice with Viktor while he is practicing with Yaakov. Therefore he must head home and spend some quality time with Makka, uninterrupted by Makka's jealousy owner.

At this reminder, Yuuri walks to their house, passing the French bakery at the start of their street absentmindedly, forgetting that he usually buy the chocolate croissants for Viktor. Yuuri is envious of Viktor for having such an express metabolism, and avoided him like plague to spare himself the heavenly smell. Until Viktor finish with his favorite croissants and his mouthwatering commentary about how crispy it is outside and how flaky it is inside and how rich and dark the chocolate filling is and so forth followed by the anatomy of a good croissant - Yuuri is a no-show. It is one of their Viktor-Yuuri things they have developed since they started living at Saint Petersburg. Yuuri loves his coach so much he would always buy them, always, despite how much silent and suffering mouthwatering he does while Viktor eats away the croissants. Forgetting to do that is a testament to how stressed he was with their current situation.

The walk towards their house always feels calming to Yuuri. It’s clean and spacey. The side walk is lined up with flowery bushes that creep under the snow Yuuri has yet to learn the name of. He is dying to see how they look in the summer. The few neighbors there are, are friendly. Some are fans of both Viktor and Yuuri, like the next door lady whose name Yuuri has a great difficulty pronouncing, who invites them for dinners at her house occasionally. Viktor’s house is situated at the furthest corner of the street according to Viktor; for maximum privacy. Yuuri couldn’t blame him, Viktor was a celebrity sought after. A line of tall trees covered up Viktor’s house from the rest of the neighborhood and it was blissfully private. Yuuri didn’t even bother himself with guessing the price of the property or Viktor’s net worth for the same reason.

As He walks up to the house he see the police escorts vehicle still parked at the side of the street with the Policeman still inside. Does that mean Viktor has come home early? Yuuri quickens his pace out of curiosity. But finds himself annoyed when he finds the policeman asleep. Yuuri knocks on the car’s window, receiving no acknowledgement from the man inside. He tugs at the door handle angrily. Isn’t this man supposed to keep his eyes at Viktor instead of having them closed? Surprisingly the car door opens, and Yuuri opens it fully in the hopes of waking him up, but stops. Stops abruptly as he notices the blood trickling from his forehead. Yuuri shuts the door in a haste, his heart suddenly running at high speed and for a few seconds his mind is blank. He opens it back and checks his pulse, and he lets a breath he didn’t know was holding when he felt the man’s strong pulse. He is alive, just knocked unconscious.

Then he turns to their house and finds himself running. As he passes the line of tall trees he catches movement through a gap in the closed curtains and his run slows down in to a trod. Adrenaline works its way up Yuuri’s system and Yuuri climbs the gate instead of opening it. Then he crouches down to the window that has a gap between its curtains. As he peers in Yuuri is somewhat relieved to see Viktor alive, but with his arms up in surrender and knelt at the end of the living room. Yuuri observes two men; both are wearing masks, one pointing his gun an inch next to Viktor’s head and another one who also has a gun in his hand but seems to have engaged in a heated argument with Viktor. The always neat hair of Viktor is now disarranged. His shirt sleeve is torn and a piece is hanging. His right eye looks like it will be sporting a purple pretty soon. Yuuri starts dialing the emergency number in his speed dial, this was the number the investigator gave him yesterday to call whenever he wanted and Yuuri blames himself for not doing it as the first thing. The adrenaline rush had scrambled up his order of precedence. The call is answered in one ring, and as Yuuri provides the investigator with the shortest and quietest possible description of the situation, he could already hear the detective’s running footsteps even before he finish what he was saying. This brings Yuuri some relief, they are quick, but his last advice for Yuuri was to stay away from the situation, how could he possibly do that? So he stays put, ready to leap and hide if the thugs inside show any sign that they will come out.

Yuuri could see victor arguing and putting up the brave face. He could also see the man holding the gun at victor become less and less patient with every passing minute. What Yuuri witness next brings him to his feet for a different reason than to leap and hide. He see that the one who did the talking, unlocking the safety in his gun. If all the movies he watched resembled anything that happened in real thug life, this is the time the thug is giving Viktor the last chance to surrender and in reply Yuuri see Viktor shaking his head with a venomous glare at his captors. Great, they should cast Viktor in the next 007 movie, Yuuri bitterly thinks, but then again, it wouldn’t be a bad idea at all. Yuuri blinks his eyes to shove away the unwanted thoughts. He recognizes that unless a distraction is on the way, victors going to get his head blown up pretty soon. Yuuri remembers the talk he had with victor last night. They had come to an agreement to face this together, to not become pawns in the bettor’s game. Yuuri trembled at the memory of how Viktor took away all his worries last night and feels strangely calm with that memory. He and Viktor had agreed on the same thing in the end, and it was his turn to stand up to Viktor’s belief.

So Yuuri shoves the fear to the back of his mind, throws away the detective’s advice and walks steadily to the door. Then he opens it as casually as he can. Without even taking a look at the content of the living room, he turns his back at it, takes off his jacket and scarf and hang them on the rack while announcing at the house a lovely “Viktor I'm home."

Then he feels the sweet little mouth of a cold gun kissing his left temple.

He turns slowly, and is greeted with the death glare of the man holding the gun. The gun man says nothing, like he knows everything that is there to know about Yuuri, doesn’t even bother to threaten Yuuri with something like, don’t shout or do as I say, perhaps Yuuri’s face says all there is to say, that he is ready to say ‘yes’ to all those requests. The gunman kicks at the back of Yuuri’s knees and Yuuri’s legs buckle underneath him. He falls on his knees. Then he grabs Yuuri’s hands behind him and straps them tightly. _‘That hurts!_ ” Yuuri thinks but he invited himself to the party, now there is no going back. The gunman says in Russian something that Yuuri understands as ‘stay’ and Yuuri does just that. Then the thug goes back to the corner of the living room and makes a call, not at all audible to them.

Yuuri takes this chance to meet Viktor’s eyes, which is easy since he is knelt facing Viktor. He observes as Viktor’s face goes from defiance to surprise to nearly tears seeing Yuuri at this incredible hour while he is practically getting his ass handed to him. Yuuri could see the other man, some one that could be described as ginormous, holding the gun at Viktor. His eyes are now set on Yuuri and he could practically feel the stare burning holes in him. Yuuri quickly put an end to his adventurous observation away from him before they start a staring competition. Makka is lying next to Viktor unconscious and Yuuri’s heart burn doubles at that sight, poor Makka must have tried to defend his owner and Yuuri prays that she be alive.

In Viktor’s mind, he cannot believe his luck. Why did Yuuri had to show up exactly at this moment? He could have paid a visit to other Yuri on his way since the kid was down with a cold. He could have gone to the cafe and brought him the croissants he always brought for Viktor whenever he was out. Yuuri could have done any number of things instead of showing up at their house at this very damned moment.

 “Didn’t you bring me the croissants?" Viktor asks agitated.

Yuuri’s mouth falls open at this question. He somehow manages to stumble out a few words making their way out of his mouth alive through his surprise.

“Sorry, I didn't, I ...um - I forgot, I’m-"

“Why?" victor asks incredulously, “Why did you have to forget it today of all the days"

Yuuri cannot believe what he is hearing. They are both on their knees with guns to their heads and Viktor is fussing about a frigging croissant.

“Viktor are you alright?” Yuuri asks concerned. Maybe he is delirious with a concussion. He looks properly beaten up, maybe he hit his head.

“If you went to the café, all this could have been over by the time you came here", and Yuuri realizes why. Viktor just wishes that Yuuri got delayed at the bake shop to avoid this situation.

“Shut up” the man holding the gun at Viktor hisses in English ending their discussion.

The gun man who seems to be the one in charge walks up at them after ending his call, maybe he needed fresh instruction after Yuuri’s unannounced arrival.

"Look, I’ll do anything you say, I’ll agree to everything, no need to involve him in this.” Viktor begs at the gunman to Yuuri’s utter surprise.

Viktor is breaking the promise he made, shattering their agreement. More than anything, it breaks his heart to see how hard Viktor has swallowed up his pride for Yuuri’s sake. Just a minute ago he was defiant, even when facing death, but now he is reduced to a begging mess only because of Yuuri. It shattered Yuuri’s heart in to a million pieces and Yuuri could feel each piece pinning at him, each piece hurting him individually, hurting him to no end Just like when Viktor first shattered his heart at Cup of china. Couldn’t Viktor just trust him enough to fight for the cause he believe till end? Yuuri’s pain turns in to an anger even before Yuuri himself registers it.

"What are you doing?" Yuuri snaps and Viktor looks at him knowing how pissed off Yuuri must be right now. His look has that understanding, but that same look also tells him that Viktor will do what he is doing anyways.

“Isn’t that supposed to be my line?"

Viktor's eyes widen at this but Yuuri doesn't seem to care and Victor wishes badly that Yuuri stops surprising him out of the rink.

"It was you who said that this is bigger than just the two of us, you said we need to finish this even before it get started...I believed in you!"

At this, realization settles in Viktor about what’s in Yuuri's head. He is making sure the bettors won’t win this game whatever it takes. Yuuri is following in his footsteps. He always has, ever since he started rebelling against his advice in Japanese nationals last year, didn’t he realize Yuuri was taking it after his coach Viktor Nikiforov? Why didn't he see this coming before he lectured Yuuri about their responsibility for the coming generations of young skaters? Victor now realizes what fear really is! His real fear is not at all a gun that is pointed at him but a stubborn ass Yuuri following in his footsteps.

“So, if you are letting them win to save me, I'm kicking you out as my coach". Yuuri announces with the same energy he declared he was winning gold at Grand Prix.

“How could you say that?” Victor manages to say although he felt completely defeated by Yuuri. "You promised to stay with me for the next five world championships at least."

"You promised to not let the bettors win!" Yuuri fires back.

"That was before they had a gun pointed at you" comes the defeated reply from Viktor.

Yuuri leans back in utter triumph, a sly smile lingering at his lips. "So, now you understand how I felt when you were trying to be the hero." he says.

"Yuuri, you know I can't see you get hurt" Victor says so quietly that Yuuri has to strain his ears to hear it.

Yuuri huffs in return. "You stole another line from me" he says like he landed a quad.

_'Yuuri, stop surprising me out of the rink please.’_ Viktor thinks to himself as he finds himself at a loss of words.

“Why do you let them continue this” The bigger gunman asks the first, waving his gun and Viktor ducks instinctively.

“I’ve got instructions to solve this situation is why” the death glare guy says ignoring the question and grinning at Yuuri. “and their last minute banters only help our cause”. His gun now aims singularly at Viktor and a mad smiles tugs at his lips.

“Now that we can’t get the coach here to do the dirty work for us, the only way to keep Yuuri Katsuki alive and away from gold with profit for us…is a real heart break. If his coach suffers a tragic death at the gun point... “

Viktor and Yuuri exchange a glance. Viktor had been right. Just keeping Yuuri away from gold is not their plan, they need drama to sell.

Yuuri swears the man is making this over dramatic by pauses and psycho smiles, but he sees Viktor’s eyes settling on him for one last time and realizes the threat is very real. Viktor looks regretful, probably because of the situation he is leaving Yuuri, and it also has anticipation, for the bullet, like he was waiting for this moment all along, it also has something that Yuuri can’t read. But right now Yuuri doesn’t have the time to read in detail what it could be. All he see is the possibility of Viktor being shot right in front of him. So as the gun man stretches his gun at victor and pulls the trigger, Yuuri somehow finds the time and clarity in his anxiety ridden mind to draw a leg from underneath him and kick the gun man. Yuuri loses his balance with the sudden movement. He falls on his back and hits his head on the floor with a thud. So does the gun man. The window shatters with the strayed bullet instead of Viktor’s head.

Viktor opens his eyes to see the gun man scrambling to his feet, enraged, muttering curses and the gun now pointed at Yuuri. ‘ _This is wrong, he is supposed to shoot m’_ was all Viktor thinks. Yuuri is too engulfed in his pain and doesn’t see the rage unfolding at him. Viktor scrambles to his feet with no care for the second gun man aiming at him. He makes a mad dash at the gun man who is now pulling the trigger at Yuuri and pushes him to the floor with his whole body, but a split second too late. He hears the gun blast. He falls and the gun clatters to the floor as they both hit the ground. In the corner of his eye, Viktor see how Yuuri’s body jerks and sinks further in to the ground.

That's when it all starts to become a blur to him. The first gunman is already on top of him, his boots pressing on his chest and the butt of a gun hits his head and the pain gives him a hazy state of mind. He wants to turn and see how Yuuri is, he badly wants that, but his head is so numb it wouldn’t issue proper signals to his body to act upon his will.

Then he sees the front door open and a lot of police uniforms pour in to the house. He hear shouts and gun shots exchange. But his body mutes him to all these as he somehow manages to turn and take a look at Yuuri. Concentrating all his strength at needing to see Yuuri. He gets up to his knees, the blood trickling down his face makes blotched marks on his carpet. With sheer will power he forces his weak knees to drag himself to Yuuri...his Yuuri.

A pool of blood is developing at Yuuri’s shoulder. The ice blue Tee Viktor bought Yuuri just a few days ago is now scarlet red with Yuuri’s blood...red red blood, his Yuuri’s blood. Viktor strives to keeps his eyes open through the agonizing pain he is bearing and takes a good look at him. Yuuri’s shoulder is only grazed with the bullet, there is no hole but a piece of flesh is missing from his shoulder. Relieved, one important thought comes to his mind at seeing this, pressure... victor wanted to put pressure on his wound to stop the bleeding. He pads both his hands on the raw flesh wishing the bleeding to stop. He ducks his head and cover up Yuuri as much as he could in the middle of the gun fight. Viktor had never felt so utterly helpless in his whole life.  Then he sees Yuuri open his eyes and his eyes immediately looks around for Viktor.

“Yuuri…” Viktor calls him to draw his attention though he’s not sure if his voice actually made it out audible with the lump developing in his throat.

Yuuri turns his head but is suddenly snatched from his view.  Viktor’s hands are no longer padding Yuuri’s shoulder. He snaps his head to see where Yuuri is but something hard hits him. As White lilies and broken glass falls around him, Viktor falls to his side from the impact. If another day, he would have mourned the death of the expensive crystal vase Mrs. Rybakova next door gifted him after last year’s Grand Prix, but right now it’s only displaying him the fact that the gun men are out of ammunition, and the potential of more of his living room artifacts ending up breaking over his head.

As the black spots in his vision clears away, Viktor is treated to the shock of seeing the two gun men, huddled near Yuuri. One pressing a knife to Yuuri’s neck, and the other covering behind them in the process of pulling back towards the side exit.

 “Let me go or he dies” one gun man shouts, and the gun shots sounds suddenly disappears. He pulls Yuuri to his feet and Yuuri winces in pain whose hands are still tied to his back and a grunt escapes him. ” _His shoulder must be killing him”._ Viktor thinks and tries to stand up to his feet but fails and he see how Yuuri’s eyes follow him despite his own worries.

Viktor tries to stand up again just so he could stop Yuuri’s worry over him.

_‘Yuuri needs help, not the other way round. He has to take Yuuri back, take him back, take him back’_

Viktor’s mind is screaming at him _._ But something else is blocking his chain of thought like radio static. His vision is blurring again and his head throbs in pain, he can’t decide if he wants to just grab his head or run after Yuuri. But he hear Yuuri, shout his name in the distance.

  _“Viktor, Viktor are you okay? Viktor, look at me, Viktor”_

Viktor honestly tries his best. He would always try his best for Yuuri, always. But the pain is paralyzing him. His head doesn’t seem to respond to anything but the pain. Viktor hears a door close, _is that the creak the side door make?_  He hears the shouting of policemen, someone is fiddling with him and he surrenders to the pain and the blackness that suppress his efforts to stand up, surrendered only by the painful and defeating fact that right now Viktor and Yuuri were on opposite sides of that closed door.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next Chapter : Taken - What goes on in Yuuri Katsuki's mind.


	3. Taken

Yuuri Katsuki knows a losing battle when see one. He’s been in many battles in his life; anxiety, confidence issues, recognizing his sexuality, balancing studies and skating, of course albeit physical ones, to know the dread that settles in him when he knows he cannot fight something. That’s the same feeling he got, the moment a knife was pressed to his neck.

Yuuri Katsuki maybe a lot of things, sporting an impressive stamina and core strength, a pole dancer that could put Chris Giacometti to shame, Japan’s top skater and Grand prix silver medalist. But never in his life has he been to a fight nor has he ever had the need to master something even remotely close to self-defense.

That’s why he didn’t fight the thugs holding a knife to his neck. His shoulder, freshly grazed by a bullet was doing crazy things to his brain waves. The pain sky rocketed when the man pulled him up by his injured shoulder to a standing position that he silently begged to be passed out.

But then his eye locked with Viktor and witnessed the other gun man smashing the Crystal vase on his head, pushing Viktor to the ground.

Yuuri knows very well how heavy the vase was, and how fond Viktor was of the expensive thing that took the shape of a figure skater. Every time Yuuri vacuumed close to the coffee table, Viktor stood by guarding the vase, struggling not to hurt Yuuri’s feelings while also protecting the designer - one of a kind flower vase and Yuuri hated it when he felt that Viktor couldn’t trust him with a crystal vase.

But none of that mattered now. And he knew very well how powerful the blow must be to cause it to smash, he _knew_ Viktor couldn’t be good enough to count to three after that. He couldn’t help but call Viktor’s name, but Viktor didn’t even seem to heed him let alone look at him. Yuuri had to know how he was, he had to make one last contact before however bad this thing could end. So he kept calling Viktor, begging him to look up, to look at him. For a moment he saw Viktor was trying, but the next second he himself was pulled out the door.

When his boots hit the snow outside and the police seized firing, he knew nothing was in his favor.  Next thing he knew was being pushed inside the trunk of a car. His already messed up mind went full on panic when he saw the giant man who pushed him inside, draw out another gun from the car’s trunk. Yuuri closed his eyes expecting the bullet, he knew the sickening feeling now that he has experience. He heard the sound of the safety going off, and the clink of the trigger, but instead of the bullet, he heard the cry of a man. Yuuri opened his eyes to see the man with the death glare on the ground and clutching his chest, but the minute he see him he goes limp and silent and very dead, a clean shot through heart at point blank.

In the far Yuuri saw police uniforms but his vision was increasingly going blurred. His injured shoulder is painfully pressed up against the metal, and the man who pushed him inside decided to kick his body with the booted foot to cram him inside.

Yuuri is finally granted his wish when he passed out from the pain.


	4. Three questions only

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Added two chapters this time because chapter 3 (Taken) is too short. So if you missed chapter three, you should go back and read it.  
> Chapter three is too short to be a full chapter because I just wanted Yuuri's head span isolated - I should probably have said that in Chapter three notes.

Waking up has never been Yuuri’s forte. He usually wouldn’t wake up until Viktor puts an end to his snoozing alarm and the follow up pulling and prodding by Viktor becomes something close to groping. 

On a good day, by the time he is up, Viktor is out of his bath. By the time Yuuri is out of the bath, finally fully awake for the day, Viktor is half way through preparing breakfast and a hot pot of fresh coffee or tea is waiting for Yuuri. Viktor is a morning person, so he handles the mornings and breakfast, but wants to sleep early. Yuuri is a night owl terribly bad at mornings, but his stamina could take him fully up and running to the death of the night, so he handles the dinner duties. This is the pattern they had gotten used to since they started living together, just like the nature of their programs.  So when he feel Viktor pulling his shirt to wake up, he mumbles his usual request at him, hoping his cute morning face will trick him in Yuuri’s favor.

“Viktor, give me five minutes please, just five”.

Instead of one of Viktor’s usual responses, such as a peck to the cheek, a ruffling of hair, a slap to the butt, or dead silence which means Victor is staring at him, he feels a cold run from his cheek to his shoulder, and a mocking laugh falls on his ears. Yuuri wakes up startled to a surrounding he couldn’t recognize. He turns his head to see around and realizes that he is bound to a chair. As his natural reaction, he immediately starts pulling, trying to free his limbs, his heart rate sky rockets.

“What the -“Yuuri doesn’t get to finish his curse. A sharp pain starts at his right shoulder and Yuuri cries in pain. A laughter comes from his behind.

Yuuri pulls more at his binds, but now the pain from his shoulder is ever presence in all his senses Yuuri stops trying anymore, realizing he is only hurting himself more.

Yuuri stops for a moment and thinks. Where is he? What the hell is going on?

Then the gory details of everything happened pours in to his mind and the only thing that comes to his mind is Viktor-.

“Viktor” he shouts just out of shock and he feels someone stand behind him, like a ghost he cannot see but a presence that is so cold even his bones shiver. Yuuri tries to turn to see whoever is behind him but fails. His neck is tied to the head rest forcing him to look straight ahead, His hands are tied to the back of the chair and his legs are tied to the chair’s legs. Yuuri could barely move. He feels his neck hurting from the awkward position it must have been hanging while he was out cold. The right side of his upper body feels like its set on fire, hands pulled behind the chair only making the matter worse. Yuuri has no idea for how long he has been in this position but his legs feel numb from sitting down for a long time. The room is lit by a table lamp placed on the floor, its head tipped up to make available the maximum amount of light. Even then Yuuri couldn’t see anything else that occupy the room he was held, but felt the ghost standing behind him and almost dead himself.

A cold and sharp object poking patterns behind his exposed neck sends chills down Yuuri’s spine. He remembers the knife that was pushed against his neck the last time. It draws invisible lines on the sides of his neck and then draws down and up his arm before going back to the other side of his neck, goose bumps popping along the lines. As it slides over his injured shoulder down to his elbow, the cold of the knife contrasts against his burning skin making him sick to his stomach. It traces over his skin smooth almost like silk, but Yuuri feels the ever present threat that the tip of the knife could be carving in to his skin at any given time. Fear creeps up as he becomes more aware of his dire situation and Yuuri shivers.

“Don’t say his name”, the ‘someone’ standing behind him whispers to Yuuri’s ears. Yuuri feels his breath against his neck and the tip of a knife is pushed against his neck, starts trailing down his spine. Yuuri instinctively arches his back, moving away from the tip but the knife finds his skin again.

“Only I say his name” the voice whispers back against his ear and Yuuri could feel his hairs standing at their ends. Yuuri in all his whole anxious life, has never been this scared and he starts picking at the tad-bits of information his brain is providing him right now.

_‘This man behind him must be the one who took him from Viktor’s house’_ , Yuuri rationalizes. _‘Then the same man shot his companion; the one who was bossing around at Viktor’s house, right after – oh! The gigantic one;_ Yuuri reminds himself the face, right after he stuffed Yuuri in to a car’s trunk like a sardine fish. _‘Better to be careful with him’_ Yuuri concludes.

Yuuri stops pulling his binds and tries to calm down.

“That’s good” The voice behind him says satisfied. “Did you think about everything happened”

Yuuri ponders whether he should answer or just keep silent to his questions, but his doubt is soon resolved.

“When I ask questions, you answer, or else-“The knife is pushed hard on his back through thin fabric mesh of the chair and Yuuri feels the sharp pain of piercing skin.

“Okay, okay, yes I did, I was thinking about what happened” Yuuri answers quickly and the knife moves away from his skin.

“Any questions?” 

“Many” Yuuri says without missing a beat. His voice shivers anticipating another prick from the knife with every answer he gives but it seems this time he is spared.

“I’ll give you three” The voice murmurs at his ear.

“What” Yuuri asks perplexed.

“Just three questions, think very carefully before you waste your chances.”

“You are sick” Yuuri spats aggressively, craning his neck at the man behind him. But nothing happens, he is waiting for Yuuri. Yuuri finally decides to use the chance he is given, but he couldn’t think of three questions without having the first one answered. So he fires the first one away.

“What do you want from me?”

The answer comes even before Yuuri completely finish his first question.

”Revenge”

Yuuri forgets his second question, and the third one. “What? Why? What did I ever do to you?”

“That’s three questions in one go” A protest comes reminding him the rules of the sick game in which Yuuri is an unwilling participant, and he curses at himself. He closes his eye to focus again.

“Why do you want revenge from me?”

“Because you took Viktor from me.”

Yuuri is totally dumbfounded now. Nothing is making sense, isn’t he here because they didn’t agree with some big cash bettors?

“I didn’t take anyone from anyone.” Yuuri states just to clear his mind, just for his sanity’s sake.

“That’s not a question”

“But I-“Yuuri is again broken mid-sentence by a sharp line piercing across his back and he cries in pain. This time he could actually feel the blood dripping.

“I said ‘questions-only’ ”.

Yuuri clenches his Jaws to absorb the pain and tries to focus again. He has to be careful. He can’t waste his last chance. By now Yuuri understands that nothing he say will change this psychos mind.

“I’m waiting – this is your last question” the man sing-songs behind him, conspicuously enjoying Yuuri’s frustration and pain.

“Last question as in my last ever question or last question for now?” Yuuri gambles with this question. His captor might take this as his last question of the three, but there is a chance his answer will help Yuuri understand how long he is intending to keep Yuuri alive.

“That’s a question too, but I’m gonna excuse you for that. Answer is I haven’t decided that yet, “

‘So this might be his last ever question’ Yuuri realizes. Even the man himself doesn’t seem to know what to do with Yuuri. Maybe all this is some unplanned, horribly gone wrong heist. But Yuuri doesn’t have to think at all what to ask if this is his last ever question. He knows exactly what he wants to know before he say good bye to this world.

“Is Viktor Okay? He was injured the last time I saw him?”

“That’s the wrong question, I told you not to say his name with that mouth of yours”

Yuuri feels the most agonizing pain he has ever felt in his whole life. As a knife jabs at his wound on the shoulder he cries at the top of his lungs. It’s unbearable. Yuuri starts heaving uncontrollably. He violently tries to move his shoulder away from the knife, but he is tied too tightly, there is no chance at all to free him.

“Why are you doing this” Yuuri manage through his dry heaving.” Just kill me already if you hate me so much”.

It’s true, he’d rather die than live this pain for time to come, and no doubt it’ll only get worse with more jabbing.

“Where is the fun in that?” The shadow behind him asks. “Where is my hard fought revenge if I let you go off the hook so easily?”

He turns the knife that is already residing inside the bottom of Yuuri’s wound and Yuuri had never been so happy to welcome the coming feeling of unconsciousness.

*************************************************************************************************

Viktor’s eyes fluttered open to see a white surface. A ceiling he recognized in the next second. Then a pair of well-known green eyes peered inquiringly at him and then away from him.

“He’s up, you should alert the doctors”

“Yurio?” he questioned looking around the unfamiliar room. His hand roamed up and felt the bandages wrapped around his head.

“Hold on old man, don’t move, you’ll only hurt yourself” Yurio said as he gently pushed down Viktor who was trying to get up. Viktor settled on the bed as the dizziness he got overwhelmed which proved Yurio right. It was 8.00.a.m he read on the wall clock, but what day is it?

Next thing he knew he was surrounded by a doctor and a few nurses, who did all kind of things from shining a light in to his eyes to straining their eyes by checking the monitors. They adjusted his bed to a more upright position and a mild dizziness wrapped Viktor for a second time only to disappear quickly. Then once the swarm of people left only a doctor and a nurse was left, Viktor opened his mouth to talk, and in a hoarse voice he asked his most prominent question, “What happened and why am I in a hospital?”

The doctor’s face looked alert. “I’m doctor Ivanovich, and you are in the Saint Petersburg memorial hospital” He said as he placed a reassuring hand on Viktor. “I’m going to ask you a few questions that may seem to have obvious answers but I want you to answer them anyway, okay?”

Viktor just nodded impatiently so he could get to the bottom of this as quickly as he could.

“Can you tell me your name?”

Viktor looked ridiculed by the doctor and for a second he looked like he was gonna protest. He saw Yurio and Yaakov tense by the window.

“Viktor Nikiforov, age 28” He answered and his coach and the punk looked visibly relieved.

“Very well, can you tell me the date?”

This was a little hard for him, but he started figuring it out. For that he looked for the last thing he remembered. He remembered ….nothing.

“I’m gonna need a little help with that” he murmured defeated.

“Okay, what is the last thing you remember?”

Yaakov and Yurio was now on full alert mode, years of living with them, Viktor knew that for sure. Their tensed bodies sent alert signals. Definitely not the best pair to wake up to in a hospital bed.

“You are here because of a concussion by an accident, do you remember anything regards to that?”

Viktor took his time and crammed his head to remember, then he realized what the emptiness he felt from the beginning was, _‘Yuuri’_.

The memories came flooding like a tsunami and Viktor sat bolt upright. “Where is Yuuri?”

Yaakov and Yurio took one step close to him, ready to tackle a Viktor ready to jump out of his bed.

“Mr. Nikiforov” the doctor started but Viktor wasn’t in a mood for anything less than straight forward answers to his burning questions.

“Where is he?” he shouted and the monitor started beeping in a hurried rhythm as if to match him. The doctor looked at the nurse and she dropped the file on the bed side cupboard to reveal a dish that had a syringe. She was on to him in a second. “You need to lie down” she demanded in the nicest possible way.

“Not until I know about Yuuri”

“Mr. Nikiforov, I promise you that I will have all the information on your friend next time you wake up, for now I need to reduce your blood pressure which is alarmingly high now, please lie down “

Yaakov stood beside Viktor. “Vitya, listen to the doctor, they are still looking for Yuuri, it hasn’t been that long, right now the best you can do is to lie down and get better so that next time you wake up, you’ll be better to see Yuuri”

Viktor couldn’t argue with that, besides his dizziness was increasing and the heaviness grew so much more that he fell rather than lie on the bed.

Through the haze that grew he felt the nurse pricking his arm with the syringe.

Since then Viktor’s been in an on and off sleep, waking up to a dizzy state and then dozing off right away. Every time his head allowed a little bit more stretch of up time, he mulled over what happened and came to grip with his current situation. The steady beat of the machines and the sleepy Yaakov who was snoring by the bedside chair provided him a lull. By the time the morning came he was fully aware of what happened and his head felt about the right weight. Viktor took this as a good sign. The police must have Yuuri by now, maybe he is somewhere in the same hospital. Whatever it is, if he got better enough, then the doctors will release him and he could see Yuuri and tell him what an idiot he had been. Hopefully, apologized profoundly enough, Yuuri will forgive him, Yuuri’s always had a big heart anyways. Then there was the case of Makka. He was scared to ask Yaakov about the poor dog. Those were the thoughts roaming in the dizzy head of Viktor when his doctor and a nurse came in to his room at 6a.m in the morning.

Viktor got up enthusiastically, a small smile in his thin lips.

“Oh, you are up” The doctor exclaimed and Yaakov jumped up at that. He wiped his eyes and stepped aside from the doctor’s way. ‘Poor Yaakov’ Viktor internally sympathized the old man.

Viktor patiently let the Doctor run all the tests, determined to prove that he was fine enough to see Yuuri. When the Doctor seemed satisfied he signed some papers on the nurse’s clipboard. Viktor thought he might bite off all his nails in the waiting period.

“You are good to go in the noon, thank you for your corporation Mr. Nikiforov” he said.

“You’re welcome, I’m sorry for my earlier behavior, which also brings me back to my earlier question” Viktor reminded.

“Sure, I was informed that someone from the police station will be here shortly”

Viktor groaned internally at the prospect of more waiting, but paid his respect to the doctor like a gentleman.

“I’m sure Yuuri is fine” Yaakov provided from where he was standing by the window, he opened the curtains and let the sun shines light up the room.

“Of course” Viktor agreed. “How did you end up babysitting me?” He asked his coach who was still wiping his eyes open. Yaakov was getting old and needed his sleep. Viktor honestly felt sorry for having him stuck beside him. More and more people were getting dragged in to his mess and Viktor wanted nothing but to go home with Yuuri and give everyone a break.

“I phoned you yesterday when you didn’t show up for practice after break, when you didn’t answer, I tried Yuuri, when he also didn’t answer I knew something was wrong. I went to your house, and the police was everywhere. Then Nikola contacted me to come to the hospital to sign some papers as your next of kin. They had to perform a minor surgery to remove the crystal pieces from your scalp. I almost had a heart attack myself Vitya”

“Did they remove my hair” Viktor kept probing his head for any missing block of hair. ”you did not sign your consent to that, did you coach?”

Yaakov rolled his eyes. “Its fine, it was right around your temple, no hair removal was needed”

To Viktor’s happiness the door opened and Nikola entered the room. He gave a tight hug for his school friend.

“Just got the good news from the doctor, you are free to go home by noon” He said.

But Viktor was not in a mood for anything but news on Yuuri.

“And Yuuri, where is he and how is he”

Viktor felt the heaviness of lead sinking in to him when the same enthusiasm was not reflected in Nikola’s face.

“Niko?” Yaakov sounded just as scared when he inquired him.

“I’m sorry, we couldn’t find him yet” the dreaded words came out of Nikola and Viktor grabbed on to his elbows. He almost fell in a hurry to get off the bed. Once he stood up he looked right through him. In a shaking voice Viktor begged “please explain!”

“The man who took Yuuri, put him in his car’s trunk, and shot the other man who accompanied him” He said and Viktor slumped on to his bed expecting more bad news and finding no strength to stand up. “The trunk?” he repeated disgusted at himself, because he let this happen to Yuuri.

“Yes, but we had to take caution in pursuit of the vehicle because he could have shot Yuuri at any time he wanted.”

“But if my memory is right, they ran out of bullets, isn’t that why they slammed a vase on to my head and used a knife on Yuuri?” Viktor inquired unsure if his memory was playing with him.

“No, you are right, but the bastard had a gun in the trunk, that’s the same one he used to kill his own man. Unfortunately we lost track of the car shortly. We found it in an ally last night though, but no one was around. The area doesn’t have any useful surveillance footage. My men are combing the area right now.”

Silence was the only thing that was in the room when Nikola paused for breath.

“I’m sure we’ll find him soon, we have dedicated all possible resources to finding him and three independent teams are working on this case. Viktor, Yuuri isn’t just your student or our friend. He’s is an international athlete who got harmed during his stay in our country, so you can be guaranteed that we have and we will do everything possible”

“I’m sure you do” Yaakov said to eliminate the silent that grew eerie by every second that passed.

Viktor was hiding his face inside his palms, not saying a word.

“Viktor, I…I’m really sorry. I know this is not at all how we thought things will turn out. But I really wish Yuuri stayed put as I advised him when he phoned me”

Viktor’s face quickly leaves the hiding spot of his palm. “Yuuri phoned you?”

Nikolai looks at him and realizes that Viktor had no chance to know that Yuuri was the one who informed the police. “He is the one who phoned me, I asked him to stay put and wait for the police” Nicolai explains. “Apparently he didn’t for some reason”

Viktor couldn’t care less for anything Nikola was saying anymore. Yuuri had walked in knowing very well he could be stepping towards his death. And he did it for Viktor. If there was any way Viktor could erase his existence and leave Yuuri be, he was willing to do it now. Viktor was slowly drowning himself in his own pool of regrets. How did he let this happen to his poor Yuuri? The one who always cared about every one, the kindest person Viktor’s ever met who wouldn’t harm a soul.

Why was he so careless, dragging Yuuri in to this? Why was he feeling so given up on him even when Nikola is ensuring that they will find him soon? Why does it feel like he’s already lost Yuuri? Viktor couldn’t stop his mind from wandering in the land of regret. Regrets and worries, one after the other, piling up on him and pulling him down in to a hole he could never come out of, unless Yuuri is fine.

If something happens to Yuuri he might as well go down with him. Viktor absolutely couldn’t care less about himself anymore.

*************************************************************************************************

Mercy doesn’t seem to care at all for Yuuri today.

Yuuri wakes up to a splash of water across his face.

As he blinks to clear the dripping water from his eyes, the beautiful monster stands in front of him in all his glory for Yuuri to see.

“Three questions” he says, throwing the water mug across the floor and it shatters in to pieces and the pieces scatters on the floor. The sound is piercing to Yuuri’s already heightened senses fuelled by adrenalin and he winces. The movement of shoulder was the first mistake Yuuri does. An all too familiar pain shots through his body.

“I’m w-a-i-t-i-n-g…” He sing songs. The déjà vu runs a chill over his already burning body. Yuuri doesn’t know whether he should be happy or cry about the renewed three question opportunity because it’s a sick game in which, every turn Yuuri take is wrong according to the judge. And Yuuri is to be punished gravely for every wrong turn he take.

Accepting the encouragement, Yuuri takes his time. After all, no matter what he says or does, the knife seems to always find a reason to prick him. So he is determined to get whatever he could out of this. Since he is still alive, maybe it means his captor has found his answer to his earlier question. About how long he is willing to keep Yuuri alive. Maybe he should at least get to know the man who will eventually end his life

The fear of not gracing the podium seems so distant and small now Yuuri almost laughs. Yuuri’s train of thoughts stops there. Their last conversation had been an argument, with Yuuri preoccupied with pointing out to Viktor how bad he would feel if Viktor was in his shoes. But Viktor was only trying to do the right thing on behalf of everyone, even Yuuri himself had agreed on that, then what gave him away? Was he overprotective of his coach…maybe? Given everything Viktor’s done for him, it would only be fair for Yuuri to be protective of him. Even Viktor would understand why he did what he did, He has high hopes that Viktor definitely will, Viktor always understood, better than Yuuri himself. But if he ever get a chance to live, apologizing Viktor will be the first thing he will do.

Yuuri feels guilt spread within him. He finds a new resolution to try his best to live, for himself and for Viktor who is awfully due of an apology by Yuuri, and if he couldn’t he would still have tried his best, and he is not afraid to give all he’s got to his last task. After all, only way out of hell is through it. He has to find out the connection between the bettors and this I-hate-you-because- you-took-Viktor-from-me thing. And at the end maybe, he’ll be able to turn the tables on his captor. With the new found strength, Yuuri lifts his head and starts his questions from the beginning, thankful that the man waited for him to get himself together.

“Who are you?”

To Yuuri’s surprise the man seems taken aback with this question, he seems to search the answer himself.

“Doesn’t matter” comes the answer carelessly. Yuuri thinks defying this invalid answer but decides against it.

“Okay, then tell me, who is he to you” Yuuri is careful enough to phrase the question to not include Viktor’s name. He could stomach another prick from the knife, but he would rather save his energy for later.

“You are getting good at this!” exclaims the man, thrilled that Yuuri surrendered enough not to say Viktor’s name.

“Viktor was my everything, and one day I’m gonna make him mine”

This time it was Yuuri’s turn to be clueless. Then it dawns upon him. Could this be one of Viktor’s ex-lovers? Yuuri regrets not allowing Viktor to tell him about his past loves that one time he tried. Yuuri had been too anxious and excited about Viktor at the beginning he freaked out whenever Viktor tried to connect with him. After they did connect with each other, closer than anyone has ever been to Yuuri, the subject never came up.

Yuuri decides to test the waters anyway. “Then why did he never told me about you?”

The man has stilled, his eyes seeming to look far away, like he’s searching for an answer himself. This is the second time Yuuri observed this look on him. By now Yuuri is sure that either this guy is trying and failing an act to cover up for bettors, or Yuuri is caught up in the captivity of a psycho fan.

When no answer comes, Yuuri test him again.

“Does he not know you at all?”

The man snaps out of his trance, and the back of his palm finds Yuuri’s face in a hard slap. Yuuri sways with his chair by the force of the impact. This makes Yuuri realize two things. One, the chair sways, although it feels heavy, it could serve him in an attempt to loosen his binds. Second, Viktor really doesn’t know this guy! And Yuuri revels in it, he feels like he hit the jackpot and it provides Yuuri enough strength to navigate the pain of the jaw blowing slap.

“You really don’t know him, do you” Yuuri asks mockingly. A laugh escapes him. It’s so unlike him. He knows. But he can’t help it. Yuuri is experiencing a strange energy, like no amount of pain could hurt him. Maybe it’s the fact that he is relieved that this guy is not Viktor’s ex, or it’s the joy from turning the tables at his captor in his very first attempt. Seeing your opponents loose it; who knew it could be so much fun.

The man is staring at him now. Clearly he is mad at himself he let something slip, but it looks like he is redoing sizing up Yuuri. He clearly did not expect this from his hostage. Instead of a weakling who passed out at every blow, he now sees competition, from a man who is tied up to a chair. He could see only one way to redeem his honor.

The knife swiftly draws across Yuuri’s chest twice. Then the heel of his boot meets Yuuri’s injured shoulder and Yuuri falls down to his side along with his chair. He bumps his already concussed head, his shoulder burns in hell with the impact, but a small laughter still linger in his lips.

Satisfied with his work, the man observes his pray until his eyes are fully closed and kicks his unconscious competitor one last time before he leaves.


	5. Be a good boy!

 

Next time Yuuri wakes up, he is fully alert. As soon as he wakes up, he knows why. The sun peeps through the window pane and Yuuri assumes it should be the morning, probably the beginning of the next day, unless he wasn’t unconscious, asleep or out cold under a mix of both of those conditions for more than a few hours. Yuuri’s sense of time is so blurry he doesn’t bother thinking much about it. He just concludes its day time. Next thing he realizes is that he is upright again. He remembers falling down hard on the shattered remains of the glass mug. Although the small pieces of the shattered glass mug is still stuck on his face and shoulder, Yuuri is upright.

Next thing his attention falls on to is his surroundings. He couldn’t see it last night due to the darkness, but now Yuuri see that his chair is facing directly at a door, and beyond the opened door, there is a room that remotely resembles a living room, with a few old chairs. But every window and every door is covered with wood panels. His captor has made sure that without a whole box of tools at disposal, no one can escape this dungeon.

Then his eyes revert to a pile right in front of him, it’s on the floor just outside the opened door, and Yuuri can make out the form of a man without the help of his glasses. Of course, he must have been guarding his prisoner. Yuuri thinks he is delirious with pain when he hear a sob escape the pile. Yuuri’s mouth falls open when another sob escape the man and he seems like gagging. Then the man lifts his head, give one look at the perplexed Yuuri and do the most unthinkable.

“I’m sorry” he apologizes. His palms cover up his face and he starts out right crying, with sobs and tears and everything else that comes along with it. Partial phrases escapes him from time to time, like ‘Oh! God! Not again”, and “what have I done?”

For the duration it lasts, Yuuri forgets his burning shoulder and the glass bits stuck on his face. He can’t tell what kind of a U turn the man’s taken. He wants to say something but he closes his mouth, reminding him that he’s dealing with a psycho and part because he does not have the faintest idea what to say in a situation like this.

A minute later, he stops crying and repeats the apology. Yuuri still keeps silent, for all he know, this could turn in to another wicked game. To his relief, the man starts the conversation.

“I’m sorry, every now and then, I wake up in this house” He says. He keeps his distance like Yuuri would attack him somehow. Yuuri is sure it’s still the same man from the previous day. He can’t make out high definition lines and features of the man without his glasses, but Yuuri wonders if he actually seem sentinel, his features gone soft and eyes red from actually crying.

“I don’t know what takes over me, and I don’t know what happens, I have no recollection. I just wake up in this house. But I’m always alone – until today.” He stops to take a breath. Yuuri is listening very intently to every word leaving his mouth because he is having a very difficult time apprehending the meaning behind them.

“You are the skater, Yuuri Katsuki, right? You are with Vitya. Do you know what happened? Who took you here? Who did this …this horrible things to you, you are so hurt, oh my god!” And the man starts weeping again.

Yuuri thinks he’s losing his mind, his wits leaving him with no mercy at him. Yuuri maybe concussed, but he doesn’t think he hit his head enough to hallucinate. He’s had worse concussions before, on ice. He knows the feeling. This isn’t that.

“Please tell me” The man begs.

Yuuri realizes this is truly happening and decides to answer. “You did this”

“Oh my god” Another wailing comes from the man, and it echoes through the room and Yuuri is starting to believe the man is not putting up an act.

“Are you seriously saying, you don’t remember anything?”

He shakes his head to say ‘no’ to Yuuri’s incredulity. “How could you do something like this to someone and not remember?” He angrily shouts at him.

 “I’ve woken up in this house many times than I could count, I’ve woken up in other places too, with no recollection at all. But this is the first time something like this happened.” He explains through sobs. His voice is earnest, Yuuri could feel the frustration emanating from the man overpower his own pain and anger.

“Tell me what happened, please” he begs from Yuuri.

Fuming, Yuuri thinks of being as brief as possible. If it isn’t so cold, Yuuri thought he could be in flames right now. Sure, he is somewhat relieved to be with some one more human, but his energy levels are so low, he feels faint lingering at him. Keeping an upright position itself is difficult enough. “You took me from Viktor’s house, stuffed me in the trunk of a car, shot your partner, and then I woke up here, and you  ...”

“I hurt you?” He asks pained expressions taking over his face. “But why? And Vitya? What about him? Was he there too?” he asks quickly.

Yuuri is now feeling a bit annoyed and angry. Even with all the distraction of pain, anger and frustration, he couldn’t help but pick the change of tone when he mentioned ‘Vitya’.

‘Why’ is a long story Yuuri doesn’t have the strength to explain, he feels like he is about to swallow his own tongue with thirst. So instead of answering, he spits out angry questions.

“Who are you and why are you calling Viktor Nikiforov, ‘Vitya?’, if you are so sorry why don’t you just let me go?”

The man seems to ponder hard before he answers. “If I answer, then you’ll know who I am, if I let you go, then you will contact the police, you even know my face already”

Okay, this guy really considered his options and he is not an idiot. Yuuri has to give him that credit. For a moment Yuuri feels like he’s about to lose something, wasn’t he supposed to be good to Yuuri because he didn’t mean to hurt him? Is Yuuri losing his chance to get out of this hell?

“Look, you can undo everything that happened, just let me go, I will not tell anyone anything, I promise” Yuuri proposes skeptically.

And the man drowns himself in deep thoughts again.

“I know you are a good person, Vitya wouldn’t chose to coach you otherwise” He says getting up, seemingly have his mind made up about what do to. Yuuri keeps staring at him hoping for the best.

“It’s getting late, I’m a full time employee, and I have places to be and things to do. Honestly, I have to get rid of these crappy clothes which I don’t even know who whom it belongs to, and attend a very important meeting in a very short time. So I’ll decide what to do after that. For now, you are gonna have to stay that way”

Yuuri gasps in dismay. “How could you do this?” he angrily shouts at him puffing out angry cold breaths like a mule. The man visibly shrinks his confident persona disappearing in front of Yuuri’s gaze that as the potential to burn him alive. But he turns ready to go.

“At least give me some water before you go, save me from having to pee on myself” Yuuri shouts at him again. The man stills where he is for a moment and disappears before he reappear with a glass of water in one hand and a gun in the other hand.

He tentatively steps closer to Yuuri and puts the glass to his lips. Yuuri can notice the guilty look on his face as his eyes roam over his bloody and bruised body, lingering slightly longer on his shoulder. But Yuuri’s eyes are greedily fixed on the glass of water in his hands, and his hand is shaking. As the glass reach his lips, Yuuri hungrily gulps it down. Once the glass is finished only he take a second to catch up with his breath.

“Do you want more?”

Yuuri wants more, because he has to compensate both hunger and thirst with water, and considering the hunger and thirst he is feeling right now, no amount of water could be enough. But he has other worries, ever since the glass of water settled in his belly his bladder’s protests have increased to a new level. Yuuri knows that humiliating moment he pee on himself is very close.

“Only if you allow me to use the bathroom”

The man silently goes to the back of his chair.

“I may not remember what I did last night, but don’t you dare doubt my ability to use a gun. I will not hesitate to use this”

Yuuri couldn’t care less about what the man is saying right now because his legs are free now. He stretches them to shake the numbness. His goal comes down from being free of this hell to reaching the bathroom before his bladder acts the way of a newborn.

“The single time I found myself in a jail cell, I was abused terribly. So I promise you, I will do everything to stay away from there again”

Yuri’s neck becomes free and he shakes off the next threat that comes from his captor.

“You are going to walk to the bathroom, it’s to the right just outside this room. And walk back and sit in this chair. Understood”

“Yes” Yuuri answers quickly and shamefully obediently under the influence of his bladder’s urgency.

His hands become free and Yuuri leaps up free only to realize it’s a mistake. His numb legs give out as fast as he stands up and he falls on the cold hard floor like a dead tree. He grabs the chair with his good hand and tries to stand up. But his legs are as adamant as they could be. He can’t feel them.

“I really want to help you, but I’m too scared you’ll use me and run out of here” the man says and laughter returns to Yuuri. ‘ _Run?-If only he knew how hopeless his legs made him feel right now’_ Yuuri wondered to himself. His captor has freed him fully, and yet he can’t even stand up for his dignity’s sake!

“If there is anyone who should be scared in this situation, it should be me” Yuuri provides. He waits but no initiation comes from the man standing next to him comes. “I guess I should just crawl my way to the bath room then” Yuuri wonders aloud and he actually starts crawling, only in three limbs, since he is keeping his right hand with the  injured shoulder tucked tight to his chest. Any movement to his shoulder hurts him to point of passing out. His captor looks at him amused _and_ unsure but follows him behind anyway. Yuuri feels the eyes on him, but decides to ignore.

After crawling a few feet painfully slow, Yuuri is able to grab the door frame and manage to stand up. He then proceed to walk on his still numb legs, leaning on the walls and anything standing to keep himself steady. By the time he use the toilet, the numbness has left him to a degree he could standup without wobbling and he manage to have a pee without losing his dignity. His next immediate thought is to turn around and lash at the man, but the gun immediately nudges his back, like the man could read his thoughts.

“Don’t even think about it” he warns. Yuuri obediently walks to the chair, and as dread settles in, allows himself to be strapped with plastic again, sorely wishing he was in a status to act faster than the gun pointed at him.

To his dismay his captor quickly finishes his task. “I couldn’t find any food or pain killers, I’ll bring them when I’m returning”

“Sure, unless you forget this too happened, right?” Yuuri mocks in anger. How could the man keeping him say something like that like he is doing him a favor? “I wonder how your house seem to have an abundance of plastic straps, although there are no food”

The man stands in front of him. Yuuri puts him in his mid-thirties now that the light allows him to see properly. “This isn’t my house” he corrects. “You have all the rights to be angry, I understand that, but you need to think about this in my angle too”

Yuuri laughs at him again, hard. The man looks away unable to bear the mockery in it. If he wasn’t bound, Yuuri would be giving him the middle finger too.

“Sure dude, I understand” Yuuri says. “I mean, I’m strapped to a chair, I can barely move, what else can I do but think, right? But I’ll try to understand you, why you abducted me?, why you tortured me?, jabbed your knife in to my wound just because you could and why you are leaving me like this while you might just forget about me and leave me to die in hunger or by an infected wound or whichever comes first, and etcetera, etcetera because you have things to do and places to be. Huh? Now that I have all the time until you return from your very important meeting, I’ll try to understand, I promise I’ll be graceful when I think about you” Yuuri finishes his stretched out curse talk and catches up his breath. The man sighs in disappointment and turns to leave. Yuuri observes him leave with seethe, one last thought entering his mind.

“Hey” he calls out. “While you are gone, see if you can find out anything about how Viktor’s doing, last I saw, you shattered an expensive crystal vase on his head, I’m sure he is in a concussion at the least”

The man stops dead on his track and looks back at Yuuri with horror. “I did what?”

_‘Got-you’_ Yuuri internally celebrates, he’s hit three birds with one stone. This man, may not have revealed anything about him. But he clearly knows Viktor, and judging by how devastated he looks when Yuuri mentioned that _he_ hurt Viktor, Yuuri is sure this man deeply cares for him too. Third thing Yuuri realize is, it wasn’t this man but his companion who shattered the vase, but he believes Yuuri when he lied. This means he really doesn’t remember yesterday. Yuuri does not feel a teeny bit of shame for lying. His mama would not be happy. But he can’t stop his tongue when it seeks out revenge the only way it could because his tongue is the only body part he could move right now.

“Hey!”

He calls out again and the man turns back again, chagrin washing over his face. Yuuri only brings out the best mocking face he could, he doesn’t care what it will bring him. His anger makes revenge taste so much better than a pork cutlet bowl.

The man keeps staring at his way anticipating what will leave Yuuri’s mouth next.

“Be a good boy and try not to kidnap anyone else while you are gone!”

 

***********************************************************************************************

 

Yaakov half dragged half carried Viktor Nikiforov through the hospital’s VIP gate to the waiting car.

First he was being a dick to the police officer who came after Nikola to get his statement recorded. Yaakov had to step in more than once to settle Viktor on the bed. When the time to leave the hospital came he was adamant about using the wheelchair, refusing it vehemently to the point that Yaakov thought the doctor will put him under again. Fortunately he was allowed to walk until he felt dizzy but proving again that Viktor was the most stubborn student Yaakov’s ever met, he somehow managed to drag himself all the way to the waiting car, almost crawling the last few feet. Yaakov realizes right then that Viktor is trying his best to punish himself in every chance he gets.

Throughout the ride, Viktor is silent. They had been to the pet clinic, the only good thing that happened today. Poor Makka was fine but was asleep with drugs to give it enough rest to recover from the blunt force trauma it suffered. When the doctor kindly explained to Viktor how Makka needs to be under observation for at least another day, Viktor had agreed halfheartedly. It broke Yaakov too, when Viktor longingly stroked Makka’s sleeping form. Makka was Viktor’s family as far as Viktor was concerned and Yuuri had grown on him steadfastly during last year. He couldn’t imagine what Viktor was going through having been broken from the two who he loved most, Makka and Yuuri.

“Nikola spoke to Yuuri’s family” Yaakov informs Viktor breaking the silence in the car and in response Viktor holds his head on his palms. “That’s actually a relief” He admits mumbling between his palms. “I don’t know how to say to them how horribly I failed keeping their only son safe”

“What happened is not your fault” Yaakov protested, but he know what he says is fallen in to deaf ears.

“Keep saying that, I hope in some way it will be true” Viktor laughs. “You are right, I’m the worst coach ever”

Yaakov decides to not say anything to him because Viktor somehow manage to self-sabotage himself with every word that comes out of Yaakov.

“I need to talk to them anyway, can I have my phone please” Viktor asks and Yaakov shows the bag in the back seat of his car that held all Viktor’s belongings at the time of hospitalization, including the bloody clothes and the phone, shattered beyond repair.

“It’s broken, why shouldn’t it be when everything else is” he declares once he see the completely shattered screen and Yaakov wonders how long he will be able to peacefully handle this all-new-and-negative Viktor. He has no intention to shout at a concussed man.

So on the way home, they also stops at a shop to buy him a new phone. When Yaakov takes the turn to his house Viktor suddenly comes to life from his ‘drowned in thoughts’ state. “That is not where my house is.”

“Right, that’s where _my_ house is, you are staying with me. You need to be under observation, remember?” Yaakov reminds him.

“I will call you every two hours so you can check if I’m slurring my speech or talking nonsense or whatever one of those things the doctors asked you to be look out for” Viktor continues his argument.

“Sure, if your state becomes bad enough for you to slur your speech or talk nonsense, I suppose you will still be good enough to remember to call me every two hours”

“That’s the point, if I don’t call you in two hours, you can come and check”

“We are not having this argument Vitya, its final, you are staying with me _at least_ for the next 24 hours.” Yaakov says ending their argument. ”It’s not like you don’t know my place, your room is still there. Besides I don’t think they will let you spend your day in a crime scene anyways”

Viktor goes silent again. It isn’t that he doesn’t like Yaakov’s place which once used to be his home. He just wish he could go back so he could be at least a little close to Yuuri, or put correctly, ‘Yuuri’s things’. But honestly he is not so sure if he could handle anything that was even remotely related to Yuuri. His stubborn mind was split in decision even when Yaakov entered the gates of his house.

Once inside the familiar house, he drops himself quickly on the sofa. Dragging his shoed feet up on to the plush sofa despite Yaakov’s strained looks. He knows the old man is keeping his protest to himself only because Viktor is not in a good shape for a lecture on removing shoes before climbing on to the landlord’s sofa. But he does it anyways, partly out of exhaustion and partly in need to get a rise out of anything moving so he could exhale his frustration verbally. But Yaakov isn’t giving him the chance by being super patient and it only fuels Viktor’s frustration more.

Viktor closes his eyes, and the second he does everything that happened comes at him like a ton of bricks. He opens his eyes with a startle. He is afraid to close them again fearing confronting his own memories.  If he doesn’t want to see Yuuri’s face like that he’s gonna have to stay up, and either way Viktor feels like he is destined to go crazy pretty soon. Yaakov sits by his elbow and places his palm on Viktor’s forehead.

‘I don’t have a fever, if I ever feel like that, I will inform you, okay” Viktor says bluntly without even sparing a glance at Yaakov who nods kindly. His out of nature patience is taking an effect on Viktor and he tries to tame his outbursts threatening to come out every chance it gets. Yaakov of all people doesn’t deserve it after spending all his time by his bedside.

“Your room is just the way it was, your old clothes are still in the wardrobe. Get a bath and have a nap. I will wake you up in two hours”

Viktor agrees silently and after taking sometime to compose himself, drags his feet to his old room. He see Yaakov’s feet moving by the thin strip of space under the bath room door during his bath. And when he came out of it, a warm cup of tea is waiting for him on the table with a snack. Viktor drinks the tea gratefully and tries to get some sleep. But it’s just like how it was. Viktor feels like a dying man whose life flashes in front of him at the moment just before death. Yuuri’s defiant face is in front of him the moment he closes his eyes. Yuuri’s pleadings for Viktor to look at him just before he was dragged out of the side door storms in his ears. Even when he was the one at the danger, Yuuri wanted to make sure Viktor was fine. He tries opening his eyes and closing his ears with his hands, but he only feels closer to the point of panic every passing minute. He stands up and sits on the window sill. Outside, he could see the garden once carefully crafted by Lilia’s hands. Despite its beauty, uninvited memories and unpleasant inquiries roam around Viktor’s mind. Yuuri’s impromptu snow dance comes to his mind reminding how happy and carefree he had been, and how Yuuri stormed in to his room because he couldn’t sleep out of worry for Viktor. Viktor almost laughs at how ironic it is that it was Yuuri who was finally damaged and not him.

Viktor lies down on the bed again, like a fallen tree. But the burden of memories and regrets becomes too much to bear. He decides to try out the living area and aimlessly switches on the TV. The overflow of news, advertisement and television drama distracts Viktor to some extent. But only until Yaakov switches it off grumbling something about tiring his eyes and not resting his head. If only he knew that there is no possible way in this world that Viktor Nikiforov could rest unless other than kissing his death.

Viktor is left alone on the chair again, grumpy, and the one thing he had been putting behind subconsciously comes to the forefront of his mind. He feels he couldn’t delay it anymore, or he shouldn’t. He switches on his phone half hoping for a missed call from Nikola with good news, but he can’t be that lucky enough at the rate things are going. True to his disappointment, he see no missed calls. He then dials in the Yu-topia Katsuki general number unable to decide whom he should address and Hiroko picks up.

Viktor doesn’t know what to say when she says Hello. A rare moment in his life where he is totally speechless. Somehow Yuuri seems bring many of those rare moments in to his life lately.

She says Hello’ again and a few seconds pass by.

“Viktor san” she mouths doubtfully to the phone and Viktor still cannot mouth a word.

“Viktor” she says this time certain that it’s Viktor on the other side and to Viktor’s horror she breaks down crying. This is proving to be even more difficult than Viktor imagined, he is horrible when someone else is crying.

“Hiroko, please, I’m so god damn sorry” he says sobbing himself.

“Oh! Viktor-san, No, you shouldn’t be” she says trying to stop her tears. She takes a good breath and calms down.

“How are you?” she inquires. “I was worried, the police said you were hurt but didn’t give any details”

Viktor is left baffled. How could this woman be so kind to him when he was the one responsible for Yuuri?

“Viktor san, I know you. I know both of you. You shouldn’t be feeling guilty if that’s what you are worried about right now. What happened is not your fault.”

“People keep saying that to me Hiroko, but it’s not the truth. I’m the one who started all this. I shouldn’t have gone to the police”

“You did the right thing, Yuuri himself said so”

“Yuuri spoke to you?” Viktor asks baffled.

“The night before this happened, he spoke to me saying he couldn’t go to sleep. He told me how you contacted the police. Viktor-san, it was the right thing to do. If you forced Yuuri to fail even though your intention is to save him, I will never forgive you”

“Hiroko” That’s all Viktor manage to say as he is listening to the usually kind woman’s defiant voice. After all, Yuuri has to have gotten his genes from his mother.

“Listen to me Viktor-san, I’m his mother and I know Yuuri will be back with us before we know it. I know it in my heart, I can feel it, can’t you?”

Hiroko’s last question leaves Viktor breathless. When he finally drags a breath, he actually feels like he is breathing again like a real human. His guilt had been crowding his senses so much that he didn’t take time to actually reach out to his inner self. Viktor is no stranger to the mother-son bond although his bond was proved the other way round. He could still remember how he felt when his mother’s last breath left her while she was on the surgeon’s table and how Viktor knew it immediately even before the doctors informed him that she had passed away. He knows the feeling very well; the heaviness in the chest and the dread of death laughing at him. But that’s not at all how he feels now and Viktor feels the warm rays of ‘hope’ enveloping him.

“Thank you” he whispers to the phone and Hiroko acknowledges in understanding.

“How is everyone else?” Viktor asks and Hiroko takes a little longer to answer as if she is debating whether to share with him or not.

“Things aren’t good here Viktor-san, Yuuri’s father did not take the news well and his heart condition has worsened ever since. Maari is staying with him in the hospital, I am dealing with the onsen right now. Minako and Takeshi will help with the onsen because we can’t close with guests who have already booked with us. The police said it would be better if a family member is present there, so once the guests leave, I will go to the hospital and Maari will book her tickets and fly to Saint Petersburg”

“Of course Hiroko, of course. Just ask her to text me the time of her arrival and I will pick her from the airport. I’m sorry for everything you are going through. Could you please pass my wishes to Toshia?”

“Of course, but aren’t you hurt Viktor-san? I shouldn’t bother you with Maari.”

“Don’t worry about my end Hiroko, it’s the least I could do” He ensures her wholeheartedly. Once the call is ended, Viktor feels much better, like he could breathe again, like ‘hope’ is pumping oxygen to his lungs.

Yet there is no end to the worries he feel. He doesn’t bother about missed dinner and doesn’t bother about the Yaakov’s grumble that will follow. He finds his medicine pack on Yaakov’s table, sort out the one to take in the night to help him fall asleep and doubles the dose. Devil may care. Viktor knows he won’t die with the dosage and that’s all that matters right now.  He leaves a note on the refrigerator door telling Yaakov that he took double dosage and not to bother with waking him up. Then he lies down on the bed. Something different tugs at his eyes pushing down his eye lids. As Yaakov begins pounding on his door, his eyes closes themselves, not waiting for Viktor.

 


	6. Only way out of hell is through!

Once his captor was gone, and the shutting of a door is heard, Yuuri exhaled. A deep exhale; emptying everything inside his lungs and ignoring the protests that came from his bruised ribs. He breathed in and out slowly and trained his mind on the pace of his lungs, slowly opening himself to the new situation.

He was alone and awake. He could also sense a lot of things about himself. The hunger twisting his belly, the cold, the unbearable pain gripping his shoulder. His legs, butt and back muscles cramping as a result of dehydration and been in the same seated position for hours. Yuuri didn’t know how long he could carry on like this before he went insane simply with the pain.

He leant back on the chair, as far back as the binds allow trying to ease his body and another heavy exhale left him. Still with his eyes closed and his frail body leaning on the chair trying to find even the smallest of the comforts, Yuuri’s mind involuntarily wondered over random things. What should be happening in the world now that he isn’t there to witness?

His family, must be worried sick now, and Yuuri’s heart aches for them. His mother and father have been nothing but supportive in all his life’s endeavors. They have always given him his freedom to follow his will at his own pace. Yuuri feels glad he got at least the silver at the grand prix. He could never forget the proud and content look on mom, dad and Maari’s face when he went home for the first time with the highest medal he has earned. The person who made it possible is – _Viktor_.

Yuuri’s mind came to a full stop at the thought of him, wondering how Viktor must be now. Unable to shake the regret when he thought about their last moments, Yuuri was sadly certain somewhere in Viktor’s mind, he was marked as a disappointment. Yuuri knew how much Viktor wanted to keep him out of trouble, coming to his rescue when he needed help the most.

Even after the chapter in Japan was over and they started training in Russia, Viktor made sure Yuuri’s program was given all the attention and vigilance they could, even going to the length of consulting Yaakov to Yuri’s dismay. But Viktor was an unstoppable force when it came to Yuuri, his coach consulting his coach sounding a bit too privileged.

Viktor has become an integral part of his family too. His own family members enveloping Viktor and Makka in to their lives like they found a long lost family member, sometimes to Yuuri’s envy. When his mom and dad first sent two care packages instead of the usual one for Yuuri, he had pouted in a show, but Viktor’s eyes shone like stars while he carried the box inside right out of the delivery guy’s hands.

Every time Viktor took a step close to his family, Yuuri was filled with curiosity about where Viktor’s family was. They did not have to exist, but Yuuri just wanted to know if they ever did. How did Viktor became the man who he is; not the public figure with the thousand watt smiles-that part Yuuri knew, and not the international athlete who; according to Yaakov’s angry declaration to the media, cared about nothing but himself, but the caring and kind Viktor? Whose traits did he carry? His mother or father? Who did he look like? His mother, father or even a distant aunt? But the moment never came for Yuuri since he felt it would be prying in to Viktor’s life. Between getting used to Saint Petersburg, sight-seeing and bending over backwards; literally, with their programs, they had become too busy. Now Yuuri wish they set aside more time for personal life because, while Viktor knew everything there is to know about Yuuri he knew next to nothing about Viktor, or who he had been before he became _the_ star.

Considering the possibility of his captor being one of Viktor’s ex-lovers-another something he knew nothing about, tore a little bit in to Yuuri’s heart despite his ignorance. Was the call that came from the bettor a fake one then? Why can’t this guy remember anything? Why did he kill his own partner in crime? What is this place and why is he calling Viktor by his pet name?  Won’t the police find him? More importantly, is Viktor okay? The more he thought about the questions that lingered without answers the more he became tired. He wished for the time to pass quickly, then again he didn’t know what time it was. He was lost, in pain and in freezing cold. Yuuri felt a shiver building inside him, and it felt familiar, like when he was coming down with a cold or flu. If he was developing a fever, it couldn’t be a surprise because of the untreated wound.

As more time passed by, the more the pain grew, the more feverish he felt and the more the cold increased. He tried at his binds again which didn’t even budge under Yuuri’s weak pulls. Giving up his tries, Yuuri found himself at the edge of losing all hope. Taking another good breath trying on his calming techniques, he was successful occupying himself with concentrating on his program for some time. He played the music in his head again and again. Then thought about how he could amp up his program. When there was nothing left he could think of it, he mulled over Viktor’s programme. Every now and then, Viktor sought out his opinion on different matters regarding his own program. Yuuri prided himself with being able to help Viktor even the little he could. His thoughts then ran to Pittchit, Yuri and all the other skaters he had the chance to get to know ever since he met Viktor. He reminisced about Viktor’s non skater friend circle and the Bar adventures Yuuri had with them.  He thought about the bar tender who started hitting on him and how Viktor never took him to that bar again. And how giddy he felt about Viktor’s protectiveness.

But there was only so much thinking one could do in one go. Tiredness wrapped him in a thick fog and Yuuri closed his eyes. But he couldn’t fall asleep even if he tried. The moment he closed his eyes he would wake up with a jolt of pain running from his shoulder like a current, confirming his doubts of an infection or it would either be too cold or too warm, sweating from fever or shivering with cold. If none of this was the reason, then it would be a nightmare, the thugs waving a knife at him, pricking his skin or Viktor shouting from the other side of a tunnel so dark he couldn’t even see him.

Yuuri was experiencing pure pain, from the breaths he took, the senses he felt to the thoughts he had. By now the adrenalin rise he got from the morning had worn off to the naught. Every muscle in his body ached, his legs felt numb, his back begged to lie down and his head ached continuously. By now all his resolutions to somehow stay alive had vanished in the pure sea of pain. Unable to move his body to a position that could give him even the slightest of relief, he just wanted someone to come through the door and kill him. He wanted it so much and so fast he didn’t even care how.

Yuuri didn’t know how much time he passed trapped in this turmoil inside and out.  But there came a point he couldn’t take it anymore and his frustration came out of him suddenly, unexpectedly like a lightning bolt. Yuuri cried. He cried a forlorn, inarticulate and mournful cry. As loud as his vocal chords would allow and as hard as his lungs would allow and heavy tears falling down his usually pink but now too pale to be human cheeks. It was a cry to the dead because no one alive was listening to him, no matter how long or how hard he cried. Yuuri’s cries finally ended up as sobs, shallow and ungrateful to his shoulder because every shake that came with every sob, hurt his wound so much. After some time the sobs too stopped. 

For the first time after a long time since he woke up bound to a chair, Yuuri again could feel only his physical pains, like the tears washed away his emotional turmoil that was building up inside of him ever since he first listened to the phone call that was meant to be only heard by Viktor, the moment it all started for Yuuri.

Yuuri went back to the beginning in his mind and swore he will never answer calls meant for Viktor.

Viktor.

Who drove Yuuri to the police station because it was the right thing to do, for Yuuri’s career.

Viktor who redirected his focus from the two of them to the whole bunch of other skaters who might be affected in future by what they did today.

Viktor who took the time and patience to explain it to a pissed off Yuuri.

Viktor who hugged him tightly until all his fears evaporated and lulled him to sleep that night.

 _“Nothing is going to happen to me, I’m here, and I’ll be with you as long as you want me. In any form you want me.”_ Viktor’s promise reverberates in Yuuri’s ears again and again.

 _“I’ve taken it for granted that you’ll always be with me”._ Viktor had said that night. If only Viktor knew!

Yuuri realizes for the first time that he had been so lost in his own grief and pain that he had completely missed Viktor’s aspect in this.

How should Viktor be feeling right now?  Yuuri tried to get in to Viktor’s head for a moment. It didn’t take him much effort, for he knows his coach very well. He must be struck with the guilt. Poor protective Viktor had very well expressed that before, _“I can’t see you get hurt.”_ he had said and Yuuri remembered how those blue eyes looked so pleadingly at him for forgiveness.

Only, Viktor did not need that, if at all Yuuri wanted to thank him and apologize. True, Viktor’s decision ended up leaving him in a very undesirable spot. But Yuuri couldn’t find it in him to feel offended. Yuuri followed him at his own discretion, from the first moment he saw Viktor skate to the point Viktor decided to defy the bettors. Yuuri would in fact follow him in a heartbeat, because he knows Viktor’s heart is gold. So flippant and childlike because neither he held grudge or judgment towards others nor did he care what the judgment of others was towards him. Yuuri understood how devastated Viktor would be if he couldn’t make out of this alive, and a man like him does not deserve that.

Yuuri recalled how Viktor swallowed his pride to spare Yuuri any harm, not wanting that to be one of the last memories he had of Viktor. He had to find new memories to wipe that off. New memories of pride and gold and round things. New memories to be created together. For that he had to live. Come out alive out of the other end of this hell.

_‘Only way out of hell is through it.’_

Yuuri repeats to himself. Again and again and again. Until he felt peace with it, reverting to his first resolution to stay alive. Some how he felt like he found a home inside his own heart until this chaos was over.

He began creating new memories in his mind; of Viktor and him together, though one would call it daydreaming or even fever dreams rather than conscious imagination. Either way, they were full of happy memories of medals, ice, dogs, hot springs and pork cutlet bowls. New memories that took away his pain and replaced him with the desire to live, his need to survive and come out alive, for Viktor.

 


	7. Was the body at the morgue Japanese?

“Is it not enough that I’m already divorced, you have to make me a widow too?” Lilia chastises Viktor as soon as he wake up from his drug induced sleep.

Viktor wipes his eyes and drinks some water from the pitcher on the bed side cupboard. He looks around and see the green eyed youngster quickly wiping the sympathy from his face in place for anger and annoyance.

“That’s the second time you almost gave Coach Yaakov a heartache.” He complains. “Within a very short span of time.

Viktor vaguely remembers that Yaakov was banging on his door before he fell in to that half-asleep-half-unconscious state, induced by the increased dosage of the sleep tablets he took. He started massaging his forehead reflexively to dull the throbbing ache, presence of Yurio and Lilia only positively contributing to it. Although Viktor can’t pinpoint a reason, he just felt like generally disliking everyone.  “Where is Yaakov?”

“Alive, not that you seem to care” Lilia retorts. Her sharp gaze aimed directly at Viktor.

Viktor bites back a snort. He is not in the mood to put up with her snarky remarks right now. “You know you can’t be a widow even if he dies, not technically at least, unless you still have feelings for him”

Lilia’s eyes widen at the unexpected comeback though she is quick to hide it under her perfectly trained facial features, but she comes short of a reply and quickly walks out of the room. “Oh! You are fine, your mouth is a testament to that”.

Yurio bites his lips to stop the laugh. Lilia rarely accept defeat in a verbal fight but Viktor seems to know exactly where to hit.

“Why are you here?” Viktor hisses at Yurio and his laughter vanishes instantly.

Not expecting to have Victor’s unusual crappiness directed at him so suddenly, Yurio barks defensively but lacking the usual fire in his voice. “I just came with Lilia.”

“Well, she’s not here.”

Yurio bolts out of the room with that. No sharp words following.

Satisfied with his work, having kicked everyone out of his personal space, Viktor leans on the head board to alleviate the heaviness he felt. The clock says he’d been asleep for more than twelve hours; twelve blissful hours not thinking about Yuuri. The thought startles him, never in his life did he ever imagined a day he’d be happy to not think about Yuuri.

He looks in to his phone for any updates from Nikola. His gut feeling forecasts bad news as it comes to life. When he finds none, Viktor wishes that he could drink more tablets and sleep until they find him. But his head is a little bit lucid and it reminds him that he has other pressing issues that needs tending.

Makka needs to be picked up from vet, he had promised to pick up Maari from airport, and he should meet Nikola to get the latest update on the search. His house which should be cleared from ‘crime scene’ state by now should be in dire need to be cleaned up. If it stays in its current state, picking up the vacuum and mop will be the first thing Yuuri does when he comes home. Which should happen very quickly if Viktor is to stay sane. Yuuri is awfully and miserably delayed to come home.

Until Viktor steps in to the bathroom he is still relatively okay, pushing back Yuuri from his mind. But the moment he steps in, his mind is bombarded with how Yuuri ran from his bathroom to the snowfall only in his towel and then minutes later how he stood in the bathroom listening to Viktor’s phone. Bathrooms are becoming a bad omen to him.

Viktor breaks down in his shower. He breaks down so loudly that Yaakov who was bringing in a warm tea in to Viktor’s room stills to a halt outside the bathroom door. He has never heard Viktor cry this loud ever since Viktor first came to live under Yaakov’s roof. Shocked, he waits for the cry to subside. It grows low in volume, but continues. Yaakov cannot take it anymore, he place the cup and saucer on the table unceremoniously and clutch his hand to knock on the bathroom door.

But he is stopped by Lilia who suddenly appears on the doorway. “Let him process in his own way.”

“The tea is getting colder”

Lilia gives him a smile, a rare and real sincere smile because she knows a cold tea is the least of her ex-husband’s worries. Viktor had been their pseudo child, the one thing Lilia couldn’t provide Yaakov with. They spent all their day with other children; grown up kids and little ones alike that they had never considered not having their own children to be a dent in their relationship. But after sometime, it had grown dull and not aching with love. Viktor’s introduction provided their lives with a welcome distraction. Suddenly Lilia and Yaakov found themselves busy outside the rink and ballet classroom having to handle a heartbroken teenager who excelled at skating, hormonal at home and stubborn and gifted at the rink. Viktor held their marriage together until he became a man and left their home.

“We both know that’s a lie”

Yaakov retreats his hand and stuffs it in his pocket. “I just hate to see him like this”

Lilia keeps her look stern on him and Yaakov gives in. The weeping recedes to a stop soon and Yaakov replaces the tea with a new steaming mug of hot chocolate and lingers around silently until Viktor finishes brunch. Knowing its best not to push Viktor, Yurio and Lilia make sure they don’t show him their face.

“Could you give me a ride to the vet?”  Viktor asks breaking the silence between them. “I promise I won’t do anything stupid”

Yaakov only huffs to  that, if only Viktor kept to his promises to not do anything stupid, he wouldn’t have ended up with the Japanese Yuuri, and none of this would have happened. But Yaakov wouldn’t dare say it loud. Deep down inside, he knows the Japanese skater filled a huge hole that Viktor carried in him for most of his life.  He was hoping Yuuri would one day heal Viktor permanently, but then again, every silver lining has to have a cloud.

They silently settles in to Yaakov’s ride.

“I’m sorry” Viktor finally apologizes.

His expressions is true to his words and Yaakov finds his heart melting. “I understand how difficult this is for you, but Vitya please, don’t do that again to me, you were stilled like a statue” He pleads.

Viktor’s gaze is set outside the car and Yaakov doesn’t get to see his reaction but Viktor is taken aback. This is the first time he’s heard Yaakov in a pleading tone. He had been soft to him before but never pleading. His usual grumpy self is always barking aloud all around the year that Viktor had forgotten the man was capable of another tone. Viktor’s name and the word ‘please’ coming out of Yaakov’s mouth in the same sentence is proof how shocked Yaakov must have been. Viktor actually feels regret for not considering how Yaakov would feel when he selfishly decided to double the dose on his sleeping tablets.

“The doctor said what you’ve taken will only prolong the sleep, not enough to damage you”

“I knew when I took it Coach Yaakov, I’m not stupid, I just wanted to knock myself to sleep” Viktor says with a little bit of spite. “Besides, don’t you worry about me trying something like suicide, I won’t go down without dragging whoever did this to Yuuri with me”

Yaakov hardens his grip on the steering wheel listening to the pure hatred in Viktor’s voice. It’s cold and sharp like the edge of steel. He silently begs to god for this to never come to that point. They drive in the dreary silence for a few minutes before Yaakov speak up to change the subject

“I called Lilia in case I needed help”

Viktor nods in agreement. He understands what Yaakov is saying. Yaakov didn’t mean to expose Viktor’s personal life by calling Lilia, but he just needed a little life line until Viktor woke up; a solid presence to confirm the fragile man lying on the bed dead to the world will wake up after the tablets he took run its course. And nobody is as solid as Lilia. It was paradoxical how, Viktor thought, when Yaakov need assistance, Lilia is still his first choice. And despite her grumbles and coldness she never rejected his pleas.

Changing their course for the day, Nikola calls Viktor. But it’s not what he expects. A mere invitation to brief him about what has happened so far. Viktor and Yaakov ends up in the busy Police station stranded in the middle of a sea of uniforms, polished shoes and shiny badges. The front desk officer asks them to sit in the waiting area for Nikolai who will be there shortly. Viktor keeps his eyes fixed at the front entrance impatiently. Every time someone was taken inside in cuffs Viktor wishes it to be one of the men who took Yuuri. The wait is torturous. Viktor tries to call Nikolai, but the phone is never picked up. About fifteen minutes in to their wait, Nikolai treads in through the front entrance in a mood. Viktor has known him long enough to know that he’s in a mood, a sore one, but he can’t quite tell. Then he purposefully avoids direct eye contact with Viktor for a prolonged period, instead welcoming Yaakov and gesturing them towards his cubical.

Viktor hesitates, he knows his friend is not in a good mood and fears the worst. Why didn’t you answer the phone?” Viktor asks lingering behind while Yaakov got seated.

“Nothing you should worry” Nikolai consoles Viktor. “I just got held up at the morgue” he pulls his gloves and push Viktor firmly down on to the chair.

Viktor can’t shake the cold he felt at hearing the word ‘morgue’.

“What were you doing at the morgue?”

It was Yaakov’s turn to hold his breath. He turns and stares at both of them.

“Just a routine check, stop worrying” Nikola dismisses both of them settling in his own chair. “I just wanted to give you a briefing of what has happened so far”

_‘So that we’ll be better prepared for what’s to come’_ was what ran in Viktor’s head, but he doesn’t prompt.

“We still have nothing ‘ _solid’_ on Yuuri, I’m sorry” Nikola breaks the news in a short and utterly dreadfully way, countenance crestfallen. “I wish I could have told you something better but, we are looking through every channels possible.”

“You did not ask me to come to brief me, but to tell me to get ready for worse, didn’t you?” Viktor blatantly states. His anger very apparent on every syllable he spoke.

Nikola sighs and he sighs again, his desk surface is suddenly interesting.

‘We first thought Yuuri was used as a hostage to escape, but the question remains as to why he shot his partner. Besides if Yuuri was taken as a hostage, we should be able to find him by now because he did escape us and after that he has no use of Yuuri. We are trying to identify the murdered man so we could know who ran this, but the dead guy is not in any of our databases. We are looking for help through our local channels. We have to think with the evidence we have right now that something else is on the play.”

“I don’t care what’s at play, I just want my Yuuri back” Viktor says slapping his gloves loudly on the table. “I hope you are not giving up on him.”

As a man who is always in control, Viktor’s outburst startles Nikola. Before he even digest what happened, a fellow investigator peers over his cubicle door, who doesn’t see the two men; Viktor and Yaakov sitting their backs turned at the door.

‘Hey Niko! I heard the body at the morgue wasn’t Japanese, lucky you” he shouts at him. Suddenly the reason why Nikola had to delay at the morgue comes to light. Nikola’s eyes roam from Viktor to his colleague and back to Viktor who promptly stands up, angry and burning with a thousand watts. The colleague’s mouth drops seeing him, who turns and go, too shocked to even apologize.

“V…Viktor” Nikola stutters trying to come up with proper damage control.

“I guess that sums up the hard work you are doing, looking for the Jap’s dead body” Viktor says picking up his gloves. He doesn’t acknowledge the stares he get from the nearby cubicles at his raised voice followed by the complimentary dragging sound of a chair as Yaakov too gets up in protest.

“Viktor, I just had to check when they said there is an unidentified body.” Nikola says to Viktor and Yaakov who have turned their backs to him leaving, “I will never give up on Yuuri, but you need to admit that with every passing minute the chances are slimming, I have to look in to every avenue!”

Nikola follows Viktor whose long strides are difficult for him to match with walking, so his walk turns to a stride. _‘So much for damage control’_ He blames himself for the last thing he said about slimming chances. It was something that was bothering ever since they found the car in the ally, but he never meant to speak that aloud, especially to Viktor’s face. Viktor is beyond upset and now it’s too late to take back what he said if it was possible at all.

To say that Viktor was floating would be an understatement to how he felt. He doesn’t realize that he had stepped outside of the police station, he doesn’t realize that both Yaakov and Nikola is following him. He just walk where his feet take him. He barely recognize Yaakov’s car honking at him and he reflexively gets in through the door that Yaakov opens for him from the driving seat. Settling down in his seat his vision morphs in to a blurry vortex. Viktor wipes his eyes to clear his vision.

Despite the cold, beads of sweat starts to appear on his forehead and Yaakov turns down the heater. “Vitya, are you okay” he inquires.

Viktor nods his head and Yaakov finds himself unable to identify if it was a ‘yes’ or a ‘no’.

“Your seat belt” Yaakov reminds, but Viktor does not move his hands to secure the belt, instead his hands grip the sides of his car seat.

Yaakov has seen enough anxious skaters to know what is happening with Viktor, yet he fails to recognize it early only because he didn’t expect that from _Viktor_. But now knowing what is happening he pulls the car over.

“Vitya look at me” He nudges Viktor by his elbow. “Vitya, talk to me” he pleads but Yaakov gets no answer. Viktor wants to say that he needs to breathe, he needs to tell Yaakov that whatever he is experiencing, it is only getting worse. But he doesn’t say anything because Viktor can’t form comprehensive thoughts, let alone turning them in to words.

All he hear in his head are the words ‘Japanese’, ‘morgue’ and ‘slimming chances’. He does observe Yaakov’s lips moving, but his world is dizzy and his brain is crowded with the feeling of an impending disaster. Viktor clutches his chest when he no longer can inhale enough air and his lungs start burning. He feels Yaakov starting the engine and take a sudden turn. The chest ache and the dizziness takes over him, totally. He closes his eyes and Yuuri comes to his vision. He can’t see him, not when it’s his fault he isn’t around.

Viktor fights to get rid of his visions of Yuuri, it’s too painful to bear as he finds himself being ushered to a pristine white room. The smell of surgical spirit invades his nostrils and a mask is pushed on his face. It feels good and Viktor tries his best to inhale as much of the sweet oxygen as he could. A medical person is sitting in front of him and he reminds Viktor to breath, his presence brings assurance to Viktor, a small distraction from the doomsday worthy train of thoughts he was nursing. Once he could properly breathe he helps Viktor lay down on the bed. Viktor closes his eyes and tries to calm down. As he feels the ache in his chest subsiding, he feels good enough to try and understand what happened in the past few minutes.

He adjusts himself in the narrow emergency room bed. He see the lower parts of Yaakov’s legs and shoes beneath the drapes that cover his bed.

“It’s a panic attack, did something sudden happened that gave him strong emotions, does he have these usually?” The medical person is showering Yaakov with questions and Viktor can barely hear the mumbles of answers that Yaakov gives.

_‘So…a panic attack’_   Viktor comes to the realization. He has never experienced a panic attack before. _‘Is this how Yuuri was feeling at the cup of china? And what did I do to help him…I shattered his heart”_

Every single second of his panic attack had been traumatizing to Viktor. He could not ignore the fact that he hasn’t been much of an aid to Yuuri who battled anxiety.

“I see” Viktor hears the doctor saying after a long answer from Yaakov. “I think it would be better if he could see a psychologist or a victim support counselor, may I make a recommendation?”

Viktor feels pathetic. What would Yuuri think if he see him like this? The Russian legend who Yuuri idolized breaking so quickly?

But a small voice behind his head reminds him something Yuuri said to him in the Hasetsu beach.

_‘All I want is for you to be who you are.’_  

And it reminds Viktor that after all, he is only human. Yuuri was the first one to honor him with that acknowledgement.

Yuuri reprised to win silver at grand prix with a novice coach and never complained when he fell short of a top notch coach. He fought through his anxiety for every single victory he achieved because he trusted Viktor to have his back. He knew Viktor believed in him and he believed in Viktor. He believed what Viktor thought was the right thing to do. Where ever Yuuri is now, Viktor felt that he is fighting right now too. So Viktor has to trust that Yuuri will fight until he comes back home. He had to stand strong and hold that position until Yuuri is safely home.

The machines from the nearby cubical beeps continuously. The monotonous sound provides Viktor a sense of consistency that he is lacking in his life right now. With a few deep breaths he cements what he is feeling right now; the resolve to fight and stay strong until Yuuri comes back. He couldn’t give up hope, for Yuuri must come back. He will accept nothing less.

His phone beeps with a notification breaking the calm atmosphere. It’s a delayed text from Maari informing her arrival time. She will be at the airport in one and a half hours. Viktor texts back confirming that he will be there to pick her up. He removes the oxygen mask and stands up. Taking a few moments to steady himself on foot, he walks out to meet the unsuspecting Yaakov.

 “I’m fine” Viktor snaps at Yaakov and the doctor who looks like identically astonished twins. Not even waiting for them to respond, Viktor simply walks out.

Yaakov seems to have given up trying to reason with Viktor’s behavior. Their next stops become his own home that looks like it was hit with a bomb. After a heated argument, Yaakov hands him the door keys and leaves.

Viktor never thought that stepping in to his own home would be this difficult under any circumstance. But now he has inserted the key and has turned the lock free, he can’t get his feet to move inside. He knows what waits inside, the inevitable reminders of everything he is trying to forget. The sheer need to get to the airport in time drives his feet inside. He doesn’t dare look around his living room, instead he quickly grabs the key and drives out the SUV, destination airport.

The wait at the airport is short. He had arrived just in time thanks to his insane speed.

Maari drops her bags to give Viktor a tight hug. He dissolves in her embrace, for no one had given him a hug ever since the incident. Viktor feels a little bit of his stress leaving him. Though they bear the same red eyes, Viktor somehow feels that he is better equipped to deal with the situation with Maari by his side. She follows him to the parked SUV and speaks for the first time.

“Are you allowed to drive?”

“No” Viktor answers without looking at her. “Wanted something to keep my mind distracted”

Maari gives a knowing smile and gets in to the vehicle without further fuss, like she doesn’t have the strength to argue.

The ride back home is silent for the most part. On their way, they stop to pick up another person who hugs Viktor unconditionally. Makka, who comes prancing through the hallway of the clinic and lounges at Viktor. He barks aloud as if chiding Viktor for leaving him for so long, while simultaneously managing to wrap around him and licking. When he see Maari, Makka immediately recognizes her, settling on her lap shielding her front view completely.

They start the taciturn ride again, Viktor driving home with muscle memory and Maari holding on to Makka like the dog was the only thing that kept her sanity.

The mess at the house welcomes them when they finally arrive home, torn up Yellow police tapes, upturned flower pots, glass bits and misplaced furniture.

“I’m sorry, I did not get a chance to clean up the house. Police lab only freed it this morning.” Viktor apologizes lingering at the entry way to let Maari and Makka in. Maari steps in and observes the mess, taking in the gravity of what has happened with her own eyes for the first time. Her face reddens in suppressed fury, wanting to slit in to pieces who ever caused this to her brother – or brothers. Tears gather up and she bits her lip to stop them as an oblivious Makka excitedly makes a bee line to Yuuri’s room, knocking both of them out of his way. Only to come back quickly after inspecting Yuuri’s empty room. He settles in front of Viktor whimpering and barks questioningly. Unable to resist anymore, Maari starts crying.

Viktor doesn’t know who he should console first, Maari, Makka or himself? But after the panic attack scare, Viktor had resolved not to let his tears fall until Yuuri is found, he is afraid if he start, he won’t be able to stop. So he gathers himself up right then, not showing his vulnerability to an already weeping Maari. But he also doesn’t offer either of them his embrace, fearing it will break his weakly built walls.

“He’ll be back soon, I promise.” He says to both of them and silently drags Maari’s luggage to the guest room. His heart is shattered to pieces, he has never felt this broken before. He’s faced hardships and rejects and loses before; his mother, friends, family, one way or the other he had lost every kind of thing he loved. But the loss had always been finite and clear cut. Viktor knew how to deal with that, he is used to.

What happened with Yuuri on the other hand, is the opposite of finite and clear cut. He doesn’t know what to worry about. What would be Yuuri’s status right now, while he is safe in his house? Where is Yuuri now? How safe or not is he? What about the bleeding wound he had on his shoulder? Viktor shakes his head to rid the image out of his mind. It’s just too much to bear. Just as he promised himself, he is not going to give up hope now. So he picks up the vacuum, the duster and gets to work.


	8. If I wear this ring, will i be like you?

By now Yuuri doesn’t need a doctor to tell him he’s suffering an infection.

He has a marathon headache, his fore head burns and despite the numbing cold, he feels beads of sweat on his face drooping down his forehead. All the pricking and knife carvings on his skin are now an ugly hot mess, that he cannot feel them individually. His whole upper body is as hot as if he’s dipped in a hot spring sauna; only this feels as unhealthy as possible.

Its dark everywhere and Yuuri cannot see things clearly in the increasingly blinding darkness. But he internally congratulates himself for surviving till the night. He tries on his binds again but they are as tight as ever. If he was in some one’s earshot, he should have been heard when he was shouting and crying at the top of his lungs earlier that day. It had taken so much of energy out of him Yuuri doesn’t want to try shouting for help again. It’s eerily silent out there. And the feeling of pain, tiredness and lack of energy seems to be in a constant battle to overpower Yuuri’s resolve to survive.

To his horror he hear the creaking of the door followed by slow and calculated footsteps and his stomach immediately churns in a small fire. Yuuri remembers how he mocked his captor in the morning. It was his way of coping with the humiliation of not being able to save himself; a pathetic attempt at redemption. Fuelled by the anger and the nonstop pain, it felt good at that time. But now, Yuuri could only think of two ways confronting his captor could lead him with his immediate future.

In the first case, if he has decided to keep him alive for another day, he may get news about Viktor, but with little hope of being allowed free and alive, his only option would be to eat the dust and somehow manage to survive until the next round of torture or until the police rescues him.

In the second case, in which his captor might decide to simply get rid of him, then Yuuri realized he will be very dead, very soon. Yuuri has yet to solve the riddle of the man who declared war against him and demanded brutal revenge on behalf of _‘his Vitya’_. If that becomes the case, then he can only wish that he be blessed with a quick death. Yuuri replays in his mind how his captor jabbed the knife in to his wound mercilessly and happily. He had only seen such frightful psychopaths in movies.

Having his strategy in place Yuuri listens to the footsteps getting closer.

Yuuri holds his breath as the sounds of the footsteps come close to him. Finally, the man is now in front of him. He stands at the door and leans on the door frame like he is posing for an artist. He has a trendy coat on him and underneath a white dress shirt and a pair of dark dress pant is visible through the darkness.

“So, you were serious about the meeting?” Yuuri asks surprised.

“What meeting?”

Yuuri immediately taps on to the change in voice, a horrible feeling settling in him. The way he is dressed, he definitely came right out of a business meeting room. But the voice, the stance and demeanor doesn’t even remotely represent the man who left Yuuri to his own devices in the morning. This is not the man who walked out earlier today, instead it is the return of the man who he met last night. Yuuri is sure of the change even through the fog that he feels in his overworked brain.

For a second Yuuri assumes this guy is playing with him, maybe by torture he meant both physical and psychological too. Whatever it is Yuuri is determined to survive this night. So that he will have survived another day. Another day through hell is another step closer to the exit.

So Yuuri decides to play along.

“The meeting you mentioned in the morning, before you let me pee and drink water, are you saying you don’t remember the morning? You left in quite a hurry so you could be on time”

Bringing satisfaction to Yuuri, the man unsuccessfully hides surprise in his face. For a millisecond he looked troubled, and it might have escaped hadn’t Yuuri was straining his eyes to see clearly at him.

“It doesn’t matter” he replies with disdain and Yuuri can’t help but notice the same answer he received when he asked his name. “Now, I’m here and you know why I am here”.

“Enlighten me.” Yuuri says challenging, giving up any hope to receive news on how Viktor is doing.

His captor stares for a minuet more at the challenge Yuuri issued. Yuuri doesn’t sound even the tad bit afraid as he should be and it was evident that Yuuri’s defiance is hurting his ego.

“Talking about light, there is this one thing that steals my attention.” He finally says to Yuuri like he hit the jackpot.

Yuuri internally screams as the man saunters towards him, but he reminds him he is strong enough to survive this, or so he thinks. He quickly reconsiders his resolve when the man steps behind him and tugs at his hand. Yuuri immediately recognize what he is about to do. The warm fingers of his captor roams on Yuuri’s hand inching towards his ring and Yuuri clutches his hand as tightly as he could.

He knows what his captor is trying to do. The ring is his last physical connection to Viktor, and he’s trying to break it. No wonder there. But survival strategies be damned, Yuuri isn’t going to let his ring go without a fight. It’s ‘their’ ring. One of the best shared memories between him and Viktor.

When Yuuri clutch his hand, the gentle roaming of the man become forceful. A war of fingers starts with grunts and angry curses between Yuuri and his captor.  He yanks his finger out of its clutch and Yuuri hides it again inside his fist, as far back as possible. For a second it all stops as Yuuri shout a vehement ‘No” and the man stands up behind him. 

Yuuri knows what to expect now. Whenever the man felt defeated, a jab at his wound was inevitable. Yuuri screams in pain. Then another jab follows another, until Yuuri’s passes out of pain.

He wakes up to a rustling sound possibly only minutes later. Yuuri opens his eyes to the darkness, to the same cursed night. His eye stop searching when he see the man sitting in front of him.

He is sitting in front of him on his knees and his hands work slowly around a Japanese bowl to remove an aluminum foil. The smell hits Yuuri in the face. It’s a pork cutlet bowl. His captor doesn’t even look at him proceeding to use the chopsticks expertly. He starts emptying the bowl with the same appetite Yuuri would have, who always has space in his stomach for a pork cutlet bowl even when he is full. Yuuri’s been empty stomach for two straight days now other than water he had in the morning and now, he has enough space and appetite for all the pork cutlet bowls in the world.

Yuuri’s stare lingers longingly at the bowl. Its smell warping Yuuri’s universe like an out of body experience. _‘Where the hell did he find a pork cutlet bowl?’_ He wonders while his mouth waters with the aroma. He has never been this hungry, and it waters his eyes. Why is hunger so hard to tame?

But he knows better. This is another attempt at weakening him, another attempt to reduce him. Then his eyes catch the glimpse of gold in his hand. It’s not very visible since its dark, but his ring is not something Yuuri would mistake for another. Yuuri quickly runs his thumb over his ring finger and find it…missing.

While he was out cold, the man must have taken it and now he is wearing it, while eating a pork cutlet bowl in front of a starving man whose main weakness is food.

Yuuri’s poor brain is catching up to his situation, filling him up with anger and defeat. All the demons Yuuri is working overtime to keep away rebels back to break him with fear and anxiety. If he let them win the man will turn him in to a puppet who falls for his every manipulation.

As the man is silently finishing up his meal, Yuuri is given time to take a good look at him and gather himself up. He is a man who claimed Viktor was his everything. Now he is wearing Yuuri’s gold ring while eating Yuuri’s favorite dish, which is known to all his fans. The silent observation brings insight to Yuuri like a strike of lightning. Yuuri now understands the logic behind what his captor is doing. He is stripping Yuuri off of his identity and projecting it on himself. He is reducing Yuuri with humiliation and pain to nothingness so he could become him, because becoming ‘Yuuri’ is the only way he knows to Viktor’s heart.

 

The revelation is such a rude awakening to Yuuri. He is in fact dealing with a psycho.

Evil humans, Yuuri could deal with because he could try and understand them. But someone who doesn’t know what’s going on in his own mind! Yuuri doesn’t know how to handle that.

Before Yuuri could come up with a strategy, the man finishes his bowl of pork cutlets and wipes his mouth with the back of his hand. Then he brings out a small bottle out of his pocket and drinks it. The smell of Vodka wafts the room.

A _drunk_ psycho, great! Before Yuuri is ready for whatever abhorrence might come next, his captor stands up in front of him and Yuuri finds himself unable to ‘think’ anymore.

“You have excellent taste in food, and jewelry and…men” he declares. Then brings his ring finger within inches of Yuuri’s face. “I got this while you were gone”

Yuuri looks away. The ring he share with Viktor is something sacred to him. It hurts him to see it on someone else’s finger. He scrambles in his mind an escape plan but finds his wits leaving in waves as the man turns his face by his chin to face him. Yuuri fixes his eyes directly at him, not looking at the ring

“What does Vitya see in you?” He asks as he levels Yuuri with the same intense stare.

“I don’t know, why don’t you ask him?” Yuuri back fires angrily. How his words leave his mouth without going through the brain filter perfectly at the wrong time surprises Yuuri. He probably shouldn’t piss off a drunken psycho.

‘Okay” the man agrees to Yuuri’s surprise. “Then tell me, what do you see in him? That would be an easy question, right?”

“…uh”

“How did you seduce him?”

Yuuri has to agree the man’s tone is subdued, like a hypnotizer. It’s slow and rhythmic. And he keeps getting closer. His face is now within millimeters of Yuuri. Vodka and Pork smell emanates from his breath and hit Yuuri’s senses, churns his stomach.

“If I wear this ring, will I be like you?”

Yuuri’s breathe hitches. The man is standing between Yuuri’s parted legs now. He is bent down and they are disgustingly face to face.

“How did you seduce Viktor?” he asks, his hand trailing Yuuri’s jaw line in slow soft caresses.

Yuuri could feel the nausea building up in him.

”Teach me, what he is like in bed, what are _you_ like in bed, what do you do?”

Yuuri’s whole body is stiffened. He cannot move a limb as a faint buzz paralyzing him has taken over his whole body, even his tongue seem to hide behind his throat.

The man stands between Yuuri’s legs now and Yuuri is terrified. His heart rate pumps up so high Yuuri could feel the blood pumping through his veins. The finger that traced Yuuri’s jaw line now traces down to his chest and stops just under his belly button.

Yuuri feels sick to his stomach. He knows if he doesn’t do something now, the result could be dangerous. He has to create a distraction and there is only one way he knows how to distract a blood thirsty vengeful psycho. So Yuuri aims to get a rise out of him when he manage to speak. It may hurt him physically, but it also might stop that katsudon greased finger from trailing down any further.

“Viktor isn’t my lover” He says as a matter of fact through gritted teeth. “Even if I knew how to ‘best sleep’ with him, I wouldn’t tell that to you”

This earns him a finger to his wound and Yuuri cries in pain.

They are both satisfied, the man because of Yuuri’s pain and Yuuri because it created the distraction he wanted.

“If you teach me, then I will let you go.”

Yuuri knows better than to trust him, not that he knows what to teach him. He looks as far away as his neck would allow and keeps silent.

Knowing Yuuri is weakened with pain, he offers another deal, another try at breaking Yuuri from Viktor because in his mind, Yuuri is Viktor’s lover and stole Viktor from him. So he needs to break Yuuri and Viktor. “Teach me” He repeats almost begging.

Yuuri can’t be silent anymore because the request comes aggressively for a second time. “Why would I do that?” He shots back.

“So I can show Viktor what kind of a shameless boy he’s fallen in love with” He purrs this to Yuuri’s ears.

Yuuri contemplates what he should say next, how to keep distracting him. But he is too close and it throws Yuuri’s rational thinking out the window. He just wants to get up and run. Yuuri crunches his eyes to absorb the shock and adjust. But he is pulled off that luxury when both his hands rest on Yuuri’s shoulders in a death grip.

“Get off of me” Yuuri shouts when his senses become over loaded to the maximum.

“Tell me then, aren’t you in love with him? The way you look at him-“

“Get off of me” Yuuri shouts again shuddering with anger.

The man steps away from him and starts to drag Yuuri’s chair by its head rest. The chair scrapes the wooden floor. It’s no easy ride as it bumps and skids on the worn wood panels. Yuuri grinds his teeth as each bump and skid strikes his shoulder with pain. Screwing his eyes shut, Yuuri sucks in a deep ragged breath and keeps it in until the dragging stops. When they skid to a stop he hiss it out slowly without an exhaling sound afraid that it might earn him another reminder that he does not have the upper hand here.

Yuuri dares to open his eyes. When no sound comes for an abnormally long time he slowly opens them. It would have been too dark to see the horror in front of him, but the room was barely lighted enough with a lamp. Yuuri had been experiencing horror every passing minute since he was taken, but nothing would have prepared him to what he saw when he opened his eyes.


	9. The great wall of stalking

A wall full of newspaper clips, magazine pages and photos stares at Yuuri, illuminated by a florescent light that flickered like a reminder of how uncertain his life was right now.

He squints his eyes cursing his shortsightedness and takes a double at what is in front of him. But the pictures aren’t so hard to decipher even without his glasses because he knows the people and places in them.

It’s everywhere Viktor and Yuuri had been since Viktor started as his coach. It’s every sightseeing he had been to in Saint Petersburg and its every interview or media conference ever since.

Viktor’s posters are everywhere; a lot of them. But there is only one poster of Yuuri in the room. Yuuri is captured in a striking pose in his Eros costume, with the all too familiar knife stabbed in to it.

Yuuri fully realizes what he is in for now. This guy really is a crazy fan, terribly crazy.

He may have worked for the gang that was doing the betting, but Yuuri understands the reason why he shot his own companion before getting in to the car. This guy was taking Yuuri to himself to fulfill his _personal_ vengeance. Definitely not a part of the original plan when he was sent to Viktor’s house, but when Yuuri unexpectedly stormed in to the house, this crazy fan thought he could avenge for taking Viktor from the skating world, from his fantasy world where Viktor was his everything and Yuuri was the villain.

But what was the act he saw in the morning when he gave him the chance to pee, gave water to drink, promised to return with news about Viktor and said he was late for an important meeting. If ‘Vitya’ was so important to him, why did he accept a gig from the bettors that might end up hurting his dream man? That was not this man, nor is he the one who played the gun at Viktor’s house because this man who dragged him right here does not remember any of that. Nor does he know who he himself is, that’s why he dismissed Yuuri’s question about who he is, no name man.

A thug.

A psycho fan.

An innocent man.

Three different men in one body. They don’t talk the same, walk the same or think the same way.

Yuuri leans his head back trying to piece things together. He was never interested in psychology. Especially because it said weird things about anxiety and he did not want to learn about the one thing he was trying to get rid of. Yuuri feels stupid now. But he did study a short course of psychology for extra credit. Something Yuuri studied while sleep deprived in his dorm room, now roams in his mind and he couldn’t remember the exact diagnosis. Not when his head is in a dizzy state and the headache he is sporting is threatening to split it in half. But he knows a thing or two about multiple personalities.

Yuuri inhales when it dawns upon him. He never thought he will meet someone in real life. ‘So doomed’ is what cross his mind instantly.

“Look at yourself” A voice booms behind him and Yuuri jumps in the seat. But he cannot look behind. “You are drooling at his posters, what a shame. He took pity in you and you took him out of his career, how many medals do you think you cost him?”

“You’ve been following us pretty thoroughly” Yuuri observes. Truly, it’s pretty impressive. This guy might as well be crowned the biggest fan!

Deprived of Viktor and thirsty for news, Yuuri takes in every possible picture of Viktor like it quenched him regardless of what would come at him in the next second. Absorbing Viktor in any way he could might as well be the last thing he would do.

A picture taken when Viktor taught him how to ride his Harley Davidson steals his attention. Whoever took the picture had known it’s them for sure, because with the helmets on its not obvious it’s Viktor and Yuuri unless you know for a fact. Yuuri remembers how he fell in love with the shiny thing that boomed in Viktor’s over organized garage from the first time he laid his eyes on it. He had nagged Viktor until he agreed to teach him how to ride the monster bike. Viktor took him to far side of the city where the roads were free and Yuuri tapped in to the experience instantly, riding the bike like he was competing for NASCAR in a motorbike much to Viktor’s horror.

“Stop surprising me out of the rink Yuuri” he had said, and Yuuri remembers how his chest filled with pride. Surprising Viktor Nikiforov was not something everyone could pull off. Ever since then, whenever the snow allowed, Viktor took him out for rides in the bike. The memory brings a small smile to Yuuri. It temporary takes him away from his current dire situation.

Another real picture reminds him of the time Viktor took him to a clothing shop. The picture is taken from outside the shop’s large glass window. Viktor is showing him the white sweater he bought which since then became Yuuri’s favorite pieces of winter clothing. Yuuri remembers how Viktor sneaked in his card to the cashier lady the moment Yuuri looked away. He didn’t know it was Viktor’s card that was swiped until the cashier handed it to him with a smirk in a silent conspiracy between Viktor and her. Yuuri was pretty sure the only thing Viktor had to do was wink at her to get her in his plan. “A welcome gift” he had mouthed when Yuuri protested.

Yuuri’s heart fills with warmth at the thought despite the cold biting at him.  He must be devastated now. All because of Viktor’s golden heart. Yuuri warmly ponders as Viktor stares at him through posters. But he already knew that, didn’t he? Who is he cheating? He loved this man since he was a kid. But worshiping his posters out of idol worship and actually being coached by the living breathing legend Viktor Nikiforov…Yuuri think the only reason his heart was able to handle the shock was because he was an athlete.

Over the time Viktor became a part of his life, his other half. He no longer jumped at every touch of Viktor. But he can’t deny the flutter of his heart when Viktor’s blue eyes peer in to him inquisitively, or the beat his heart skip when he see Viktor playing silly with Makka, or when he massage Yuuri’s over trained feet with one hand while handling the book he is reading with the other hand, and then asking Yuuri to remove his fringe of hair out of his forehead just because he likes it when Yuuri does it!

Yuuri suffers mini heart attacks every day, if only his beautiful Vitya knew; the significant, most important other half of his life that he won’t be able to live without.

Yuuri realize the captor might have succeeded in breaking him because he can’t stop the tears that escape his eyes without warning. He loves him, and with that understanding he lets the tears fall without protest because he can’t sum up the strength to do even that. How a few pictures of Viktor did brake him is no mystery to Yuuri. Deep inside Yuuri always knew, he knew it all along. He loved everything ugly and beautiful about Viktor. But like he always did, he pushed the realization to the furthest corners of his mind and deliberately let his anxiety make decisions for him. Yuuri couldn’t admit to his feelings unless the world was ending. Because the nameless relationship Viktor and he shares is so precious, Yuuri wouldn’t dare risk losing it.

Yuuri is ripped from his train of thought when his captor stands up in front of him and grab the arm rests of the chair with his hands, covering Yuuri’s view of the wall. He is too close to Yuuri’s liking, again. And Yuuri does not feel adventurous enough now. His brain is too crowded, with the impending trauma, with thoughts about Viktor and with the urging thoughts to just let go.

Yuuri never thought he would be wishing for a panic attack in his life. But when the man sits on his lap, and circle his legs over and around Yuuri’s thighs, Yuuri is super aware of what is going on. He wants to do something about it but in the same time he feels paralyzed. He cannot exhale the breath he is holding.

Yuuri realizes that all the while he was reminiscing the posters and photos in front of him, his captor wasn’t disturbing him, but watching him. Maybe even craving him.

“You are so beautiful, I almost feel like cheating on Viktor” he says nibbling at a shuddering Yuuri’s ear.

Where is the panic attack when he needs it? Yuuri’s heart threatens to explode out of his rib cage and he manage to squirm in his chair, if only a little with the added weight of a six foot man.

Then the man’s already hardened assets rubs on him as he leans towards Yuuri, his hands trail down and rest on Yuuri’s chest and he looks at Yuuri with a devilish smirk. Then his hand trails down further, little by damn little. Inch by small inch. Its sensation against Yuuri’s skin churns his gut, his heart beat races against its own speed record and stops to a still when his captors hand starts fiddling with Yuuri’s jean button.

For a moment the world is slow motion to Yuuri where he can’t breathe. His tears fall freely and he slacks against the chair. Finally, at the epitome of panic, Yuuri manages to throw up.

He throws up the stomach acid that filled his empty stomach all over his captor who sprints away from Yuuri cursing in thick Russian. Yuuri’s Russian is no way near the level needed to understand what he says and Yuuri doesn’t care. For the first time in his life, Yuuri is happy to throw up.

So happy he exhales the breath he was holding. So happy he starts giggling in between the dry heaves and pouring tears. So happy that the weight on his lap is lifted he giggles more.

Yuuri does not think his vomit could act as an arousal agent in any scenario. He is safe for at least until he stinks. He breathes in the acidic smell of his vomit mixed with the metallic smell of his own blood so happily. He slowly drifts out of the mental stability required to call oneself conscious, stinking like a dirty pig drowning in his own vomit and surrounded by Viktor’s photos that are staring pitied at him. Yuuri feels the need to just shut down, cut himself from all the ties that bind him to the cold world around him. Before he give in to his need, he spits the acid taste out of his mouth and try to properly breathe to calm down.

Once his breathing even out and he could no longer hear the angry Russian, he gets this overwhelming confidence that he will somehow pull through this. He can’t explain it but he knows it. Life is far more important to just give up before he fight for it. Before he fight the best he could to sustain it, abused or not, beaten up or not, Yuuri was gonna live to tell the tale. Then he  considers his newly acknowledged but age old truth.

He is so in love with Viktor.

It had been and is the one steady truth in his unsteady life all along. He had been a fool to dub the feelings he had for Viktor as idol worshiping.  But now that everything is in the clear, it doesn’t shake him as much as he expected, instead he feels comfortable with it. Like a fog is removed out of his vision. It doesn’t matter to him how Viktor feels about him because Yuuri loves him deeply and that’s all that matters to him now. Maybe Viktor’s care is platonic and maybe Yuuri is reading too much in to it. Either way, if Yuuri knows Viktor right, they will still be the same even after Yuuri’s declaration of love, whether it is returned or not.

Yuuri burns with the need to tell Viktor that he has always loved him and it burns him harder than all the other pains burning his body right now. Because it’s not his wounds but his heart that now burns.

Whatever that comes his way, Yuuri promises himself to survive. How? He will figure out as it goes. For now, he has survived enough ordeals to develop the immunity to be shocked anymore. He will always find a way to survive and he will survive until he finds a way out. Yuuri promises himself, telling Viktor ‘I love you’ will be the first thing he does when he meet him next time.

 

⊷⊷⊷⊷

 

Maari settled in to her room quickly. She had stopped her sobs and had a warm bath. A still guilt ridden Viktor had prepared her a tea after which she emptied her bags and had a little nap to cure jet lag. When she woke up, it was dinner time.

She stepped in to the kitchen looking for something to drink. She was looking for the glasses when she spotted the pantry cupboard labelled ‘Yuuri’s stuff’. When she opened it, it was all Yuuri needed to make his favorite Japanese cuisine. She closed it promptly.

A steaming box of home delivered sushi was on the counter top. She saw the box belonged to a Japanese restaurant Yuuri used to gush when he spilled his Saint Petersburg life bits to her over the phone. They smelled good and looked good too. Some other time she would have enjoyed it, but right now she couldn’t find an appetite if her life depended on it.

She stepped out of the kitchen.

Everything in the house, literally everything- had a little bit of Yuuri in them. Viktor looked like a bookworm judging by the size of the bookshelves and the moment she saw the shelves she knew they were arranged and rearranged by Yuuri. Removing herself from the library immediately she switched on the TV and was met with a queue that had Yuuri’s favorite programs.

She switched it off wondering how Viktor’s house reminded her of Yuuri wherever she turned and looked for Makka. The oversized Dog bed was in the hallway. Makka’s almost empty bowl of dog food implied that Makka was given his Dinner. But the dog wasn’t around. On her way looking for Makka, Maari was met with the sight that she was trying to avoid, the living room where hell broke loose. She saw the Vacuum cleaner abandoned and her lifelong habits etched in her bones crawled out. She could never leave a house mess unattended. So abandoning her quest for Makka she bonded with the cleaning tools and the vacuum. Quickly the glass bits were in the bin, the vases were where she thought they should be, the flower pots were siting up right and watered and the floor was cleaned until she could see her image mirrored on it.

Maari wasn’t exhausted despite the energy she used to clean up. It was more like therapy for her. Partly because she could focus on something other than her brother and partly because the cleaned up house won’t remind her of what happened here just a few days ago.

Still the appetite didn’t return to her, but it would be indecent to leave the food ordered for her untouched. Maari started looking for Viktor. Maybe they could have dinner together. The only other light came from a bed room. She knocked on the door and waited. Makka came out whimpering and settled next to her feet. She realize that it’s Yuuri’s room. The door was half open already so she peered inside. Viktor has fallen asleep on the same clothes and shoes. His feet dangling over the bed in a position that is obviously uncomfortable and one of Yuuri’s bed time T-shirts known well to Maari only because their mom kept telling Yuuri to throw away the worn out shirt despite how much Yuuri liked it, is tangled between Viktor’s hands.

Maari stood leaning on the door frame and wondered if it was the exhaustion or Yuuri’s decade old T-shirt that put Viktor to sleep. She took a minute to decide what to do. His usually full of life face looks tired. There were bags under his eyes, the stress and exhaustion had burnt freckles in his usually youth looking face. Maari reminded herself that neither of them have touched the dinner, but she knew all she need right now was to lie down and not think of Yuuri. She had no doubt it should be the same with Viktor. She decided against waking him up. Instead she slowly removed his shoes and put his hanging legs properly on the bed, arranging him to a closely comfortable position. Viktor opened his eyes in a daze calling her name.

“Maari?”

But she hushed him and pulled up the covers. Viktor closed his eyes without a single protest.

 


	10. Papa Boris

Viktor became aware slowly, warm and cozy curled up in something. A familiar smell was the first thing his half awaken senses picked up.

“Yuuri?”

But his outstretched hand only tangled more on a fabric. Viktor sits up on the bed heartbroken first thing in the morning. It was only Yuuri’s T shirt his hands were wrapped and it was Yuuri’s usual fragrance coming from his T-shirt. Makkachin shifted slightly at hearing Yuri’s name, but rested its head on top of one of Viktor’s feet equally heartbroken.

Scratching his head, Viktor tries to remember how he ended up on Yuuri’s bed, though he did remember Maari propping him up to a decent position sometime in the night.

“Gosh Maari” Viktor muttered under his breath and quickly got out of bed. This is his house and she is his guest. Disappearing to sleep without even offering her dinner was the worst way to welcome her.

Still wearing yesterday’s clothes, Viktor stepped in to the bathroom the first thing and regretted the decision immediately. Yuuri’s shampoo is next to his, toothbrush stands next to his, the after shave and many more Yuuri things were everywhere in the bathroom. They wrapped Viktor in nostalgia. He got in and out of the shower in record time, trying and failing to keep the endless worries that plagued his mind. It has been more than 48 hours since Yuuri went missing; where is he? How is he? Nikola’s words about slimming chances has established a constant presence in his head now, but Viktor forced himself to hold it together, Hiroko’s words anchored him for a hopeful future.

His stomach and the headache reminded him that he had missed multiple meals and medications. So he prepared breakfast for the both of them. Started a fresh pot of coffee and waited for Maari to wake up.

To his stomach’s delight, Maari came out of her room prepared for the day, surprised to see Viktor up and running early.

“Yuuri’s told me you were an early bird, but didn’t expect you to wake up early today”

“Yeah, I’m sorry about yesterday” Viktor apologized wholeheartedly. “The exhaustion finally got to me I think”

They silently engaged in the breakfast until Maari couldn’t ignore the façade Viktor was putting up. “Viktor, how are you?” She spoke up.” Don’t tell me you are fine because you can’t fool anyone with that”

Viktor looked up at her and their eyes met. “I could ask the same from you” He said observing the bags under her eyes, the pale skin and the clouded features. Maari didn’t object, knowing they were mirroring each other’s sorrows.

“I’m holding on, something Hiroko said helps me.” Viktor started explaining. “But I know it’s harder for you. With Toshia’s health and…” Viktor trailed off seeing that Maari’s eyes were starting to moisten. “I’m sorry” he apologized again. “Yuuri was my responsibility, and I failed horribly.”

“There’s no point talking about it now Viktor. I know you are feeling responsible but Yuuri is a grown man. He made his own decisions.”

Viktor wondered if that is true when he heard the rest of what Maari had to say. “You know how Yuuri is. He’s a stubborn man. No one in the world could make him do anything if he doesn’t want to do something, and vice versa. ” Her face had a ghost of a smile as she finished her breakfast. “But of course that boy will travel all the way through the galaxy if it meant something to Viktor Nikiforov, I hope you know it”

Viktor chewed on to his spoon registering what Maari said. Before he had fully processed it and comment, she put her dish in the sink loudly. Listening to the water running from the tap Viktor wondered what she meant. Did she mean that Yuuri wouldn’t be in this trouble if he didn’t complain to the police? Or did she mean if Yuuri didn’t follow Viktor all the way to Russia he wouldn’t be in this trouble?

“It’s only fair considering you left everything to come to Japan when Yuuri needed help” Maari completed her say and Viktor feel relieved. Maari doesn’t hate him and that’s a big relief.

“Nobody blames you Viktor” She stated feeling Viktor’s nerves. But somehow that didn’t make Viktor feel any good. Because right now it didn’t matter who blamed him for what. Nobody had to. Viktor had already dug his rabbit hole of guilt saving everyone the time. Hadn’t he pushed Yuuri to go to the Police station that day? Didn’t Yuuri suggest they should just save their lives and give up the gold? If he listened to Yuuri, would any of this happen? Did Yuuri agreed to complain to the police only because that’s what Viktor wanted?

The sounds of Maari’s steps leading out of the kitchen took him out of his stupor. “I wish where ever Yuuri is, he’s not hungry!”

Viktor’s spoon clattered on to the table. He ran to the bathroom and emptied his stomach fully. He had been deliberately pushing such thoughts to the back of his head only so he could find the space in him to breath. But Maari seem to find solace in reminding him such thoughts. It’s like at one time she is praising him and the next second she is rubbing his guilt on his face. But right now, knelt in front of the commode, his head on his palms, Viktor couldn’t find it in him to hold a grudge against her. He honestly believed he deserved all possible punishments. If it meant to be Maari’s punch bag, then he would happily be it.

Viktor’s luck with nostalgia didn’t end at the bathroom. He was driving Maari from the police station back to home. She was looking out the window tapping her finger on the glass trying to match the snow petals outside the window. Looked like the gesture ran in the family. They were silent, just like it was when he was driving Yuuri home from the police station.

Viktor didn’t dare disturb her. He didn’t know what would come out of her depressed mouth next; praise or rebuke. He wasn’t ready for either right now. Not right now because his mind is trying to wrap around a recent development in the investigation. After the breakfast and the subsequent throwing up session, Viktor had taken Maari to the police station to meet the police officials.

After the informative discussion, Maari was held for a few more minutes with the chief of police station for small talk during which Nikola slipped out of the room to Talk to Viktor. Viktor knew Nikola’s ways, so he anticipated something special from the giddy way he walked to him.

“I need a help” he confessed. Viktor only held his knowing stare.

“The gangster who was shot, needs to be identified. That’s my last hope” He said guiltily. “I’ve run out of all other options because he is not in any of our databases nor any of my CI’s know him. Looks like he is a new player”

Viktor listened intently. _Did he say it’s his last hope?_

 “I need to contact papa Boris”

Viktor stilled to a stand at that.

“He is my fastest helpline in situations like this. He has men who knows who”

“He has men, I’m aware. But how do you know they will know who is who better than your database?” Viktor countered recovering from the shock.

“Let’s say I’ve been using your name and our friendship behind your back and papa Boris has helped me in similar situations before on behalf of our friendship, throughout my career” Nikola says to the floor.

Viktor hums in acknowledgement of his friend’s betrayal.

“And you didn’t think it would be a proper thing as my friend, to tell that to me?”

Nikola looked further at the floor tiles. “I thought you won’t approve of it so,” He stopped completing his sentence when Viktor loudly scoffed. There was no way around his guilt.

“I could have contacted him myself, but in this case I didn’t think it would be appropriate because he is _your_ father and I shouldn’t go behind your back to talk to him about _your_ case.”

“How gentleman of you!” Viktor deadpanned and Nikola gulped down his pride.

“Does this mean you won’t contact him? “He tried again to make sure Viktor’s stance.

“No” Viktor interjects. “I’ll talk to him”

“Today?”

“Within the next hour’ Viktor assured to Nikola’s relief.

Nikola shouldn’t be discussing an ongoing case with an outsider, namely-Viktor’s father. It’s a decision he made at the risk of his own job. Viktor doesn’t talk with him the way he usually does and it hurts Nikola. Although Viktor and Nikola had been friends since school, he had done something Viktor may never forgive him. So he only stares like a guilty cat who stole fish from Viktor’s fridge when Viktor silently escort Maari out of the station without even a goodbye to him. Nikola silently prayed to god for this to end as soon as it can so the Japanese man who stole his friend’s heart is safe and Nikola could claim his friend back.

 

⊷⊷⊷⊷

 

 

As soon as they were home Maari stops him at the doorway.

“What did that detective said to you in person?”

She sounds defensive, like she is suspecting he kept something from reaching her ears. “If you don’t mind sharing” she adds for the sake of politeness.

“His name is Nikolai Nikolaeff and he is also my friend” Viktor says as he hangs his coat. Then he turns and takes her hands gesturing faithfulness the best he could to Maari who seems to be in a mild vexation. “Maari, I’m going to be very honest here” he starts and Maari goes still expecting the worst. But Viktor was not going to untangle his family history right there. He was sure Maari was worried enough to excuse him from doing that. It could wait. It was caliginous enough to wait, Viktor justified in his head.

“Have you ever considered the fact that I’ve never talked about my family?”

“A little, but since it’s your personal life-”

“Exactly, what the investigator said is related to my family, and I promise I will tell you everything in due course, but for now its…personal. Please don’t get this wrong. Please” Viktor pleaded. “It’s just not the right time”

Maari was open to debate. Viktor was sure. But then she nods unsurely and disappears in to the kitchen. He knows Maari’s intuition is something Yuuri regarded as both a curse and gift as a brother, from the childhood memories he shared and Viktor couldn’t be  anymore sure Yuuri was right about how intimidating she could be without uttering so much as a word. But he shoves the thoughts to the back of his mind considering the urgent matter of contacting his father.

There isn’t a reality Viktor could imagine himself dialing his father’s number after what happened between them. But in this reality, he does that the first moment alone he gets. In this ill-fated reality, he would dial the devil if it was for Yuuri.

His brother answers and Viktor immediately recognizes. That was not what he expected. Even after everything, Viktor felt subliminally rightful to call his father. But the hurricane that was his brother gave him an entirely different set of feelings. So he decides to cut right in to the matter.

“I want to talk to papa.”

“You can talk to me.” Comes the stiff answer.

“You are not my papa.” Viktor fires at his brother. He withers internally, but he knows there is no buttering around with his brother. For a few beats its dead silence, like his brother is debating whether to just keep the phone or to give in to Viktor’s request.

“Fine I’ll call back”

Viktor doesn’t acknowledge that because he doesn’t want to end the call with his brother on a rude remark.

“What?”

“Dino, do you really have to be this rude to your brother?” Viktor asks after taking a few breaths to calm himself.

“You left me!” His brother snaps as if he is slapping Viktor’s face with the words. “What do you expect?”

“I did so, because you asked me to!”

“I was fifteen!” comes the deafening reply from Dino and Viktor pinch the bridge of his nose in an attempt to cool down the rising anger within him.

“Dino, please, not now.”

His brother seems to think about the situation. Viktor could hear him taking a few deep breaths.

“Are you in trouble?” he asks next with a much calmer tone.

Viktor just bangs his head on the wall at this. How could he explain?

“Of course, why else would you call us after eternity?” His brother answers himself. Viktor imagines his scoff that doesn’t come. “I’ll send a text. I don’t want to hear your voice again” Dino grumbles to the phone before he ends it.

Without giving Viktor a second to wallow over the conversation, Makkachin tugs at his feet. The dog is badly in need to go out for a pee. He attaches the leash to Makka and heads out. Maybe a little walk could ease up his seized brain. But even before he opens the door his phone dings. It’s a text from his brother, just as he promised with an appointment to meet his own father.

_> >Come to the hotel, suite 901. RIGHT NOW!_

Another text comes as an afterthought.

_> > Don’t be late. He’s delaying a meeting because of you._

Now? But Makka is impatient for a walk. He turns to his only option and knocks on Maari’s door. She immediately opens the door, anticipation apparent on her face. She is expecting news about Yuuri at any time and Viktor shuts his gut’s cold feeling in order to coin his words.

“Maari, could you please give Makka a walk. He’s impatient, so am I.” Viktor snaps and Maari’s eyes widen. “I mean I have to go meet someone.” Viktor corrects like a little boy caught eating sugar. But Maari is Maari and she is squinting her eyes now. Her hands go in to her pockets instead of Makka’s leash.

“This is about Yuuri, I must really go now” Viktor says taking Maari’s hand and depositing Makka’s leash on her palm.

“If you are going to the police station I’m coming too!”

“No, I’m not going to the police station” Viktor assures her. “Why would I go there alone Maari? You are here for your brother. You have the first right for any information about him. Do you not trust me?”

“I do trust you, but I didn’t like that little talk you had with that detective” Maari counters and Viktor doesn’t say anything to that. He doesn’t want to lie to her, but he cannot tell her the truth too, not right now.

 

There is an awkward silence between them now. Maari;  trying to understand what Viktor is up to, Viktor;  about to leap out the door the first chance he gets and Makka about to pee right between them.

 

“Fine” Maari finally says and Viktor flies out the door without a word.

His unsafely fast ride ends at one of the most prestigious hotels in Saint Petersburg city. He parks the SUV in the parking lot and takes the all too familiar off road route through the staff quarters and the busy kitchen to the lobby. Inside the elevator, Viktor steadies himself like he is about to go for a TV interview. He’s not sure which face to use, real one or the fake one?

When the door to the suit 901 is opened by his father’s body guard, Viktor’s steps falters. He hadn’t seen his father or brother in nine long years. He almost doesn’t recognize the young man in a full suit in front of him. Slicked back blond hair, same emeralds eyes, and same fire behind them tamed barely by a thread of patience. Same old but grown up, his very own brother.  Viktor realizes his brother hadn’t seen him in nine years too. The way his eyes observe Viktor, betrays the young man like he is holding himself back from running to him and hugging. But to fill that in a much older version of Dino appears through the living room of the hotel suit.

“Vitya!” he exclaims before wrapping him up in a choking hug. Viktor forgets for a moment that his father disowned him as he return the embrace. Even after the standard hug time, his father doesn’t let him go. From the corner of his eye Viktor see Dino look away, whether its disdain or its only to cover up his emotions, Viktor doesn’t know. His father releases him free but still grabbing him by his arm, takes him to the living room and sits him at the couch.

Viktor takes a moment to look around as his father pours him a drink. He remembers this suit very well. It was decorated by his mother as their family suit when his father bought the property and renovated it. Nothing had been changed ever since, it’s still the same. Dino slips from behind and his hand stretches at the filling glass but his father slaps his hand away. “I told you, you are not old enough”

Dino scoffs sitting down opposite Viktor. “I didn’t want to change a thing Isabella did” His father says when he noticed Viktor looking around. Viktor only sends a thank you smile his way, still unfamiliar with his own family.

“You have become so much like her” His father observes again. “I’m glad”

Viktor is still unable to form a proper sentence.

So his father invites him to get in to the matter he came here for.

“Last year I took a break from skating to Coach Yuuri Katsuki. He won silver at worlds—“

“We are not interested in skating” His brother interjects.

“Dino, patience” his father acts as the buffer and allows Viktor to speak.   
“It’s _Figure skating_ and yes I am painfully aware that you don’t know your brother is an Olympic medalist, but what happened to him happened because he almost won gold but ended up with a silver. That’s why I’m telling you.” Viktor sighs and restarts. By the time he had finished he could see his father’s interest and Dino’s impatience with questions.

“Viktor are you alright?” his father asks concerned and Viktor nods in return.

“So this Katsuki guy, you are living together as in…”

“As in he stays with me because his home is in Japan. As in he is my student and I coach him” Viktor blurts angrily at his brother.” Of all the things I said including the possibility that he could be dead right now, that was what took your attention?”

“What do you want me to do” his father asks dismissing both his sons.

“The police is stuck, they want to identify the body of the man who was shot dead” I know you have eyes everywhere. “

“Do you now wish you stayed with us” Dino quips mercilessly and Viktor’s father glares at Dino. “Didn’t I ask you to keep quiet, “

“You didn’t”

“Well, I do now!”

Dino shuts his mouth promptly, knowing not to test his father’s patience. But Viktor answers anyway. “If I had stayed with you, I would never have met someone like Yuuri, and if not for him, I wouldn’t be the person I am today. Instead I would have ended up a pain in the ass like you who doesn’t know when or when not to open his mouth!”

“Wow, Viktor loses his cool, how rare!”

“Dino, you know what to do, now get out” His father orders reaching the end of his patience, knowing that the brothers wouldn’t stop their snapping match.

Dino hesitates for a moment before he storms out of the room and shut the door loudly, as if he is giving Viktor a virtual slap.

“Don’t mind him” his father says turning their attention from the vibrating door and back to their conversation.

“I chose my path, he chose his, and I left him. I believe I deserve at least some of his rage. So I don’t mind at all” Viktor says halfheartedly. He is definitely hurt by his brother’s rude behavior. He had always been a wild card ever since birth. Yes, ever since birth, Viktor remembers very much. As much as Viktor was in control, his brother was out of control.

“Forgive me about Dino, I don’t think you deserve any of that just because you decided to do what you love.” His father says sitting next to Viktor, like he was longing to do that for a long time. His strong large hands pads Viktor’s shoulders in a comforting move. Viktor looks at his father surprised and a glint of hope is passed between them.

“I may be the biggest dumbass when it comes to Figure skating” he says weighing heavily on the word ‘figure’. “But know that I am aware of every little and huge victory you’ve achieved. I’m your father, don’t forget that. And if you must know, I’ve updated your mother accordingly every time I visited her grave”

Viktor stares dumbly at his father. His eyes tear up uncontrollably. It was the first time he heard that his father was proud of him. To hear that after all these time was breaking all of Viktor’s walls.

“I promise will do everything I can for this friend of yours” His father assures standing up to his full height and buttoning his jacket like he couldn’t bear Viktor’s tears. Viktor stares up at him from his seat and after nine full years, Viktor is exposed to his father that leaves him observing, taking in everything about him and he realizes that nothing has changed about him.

He is full 5 inches taller than Viktor, Slicked back blond hair, emerald eyes, muscles that stretched the fabric of his jackets and a strong jaw line and a charisma that could mesmerize anyone and everyone in the room. Maybe a little freckle that announce his age but even they look good on him. He met his father for the first time after almost ten years and he looks like he hasn’t aged a day.

Viktor always felt small in front of his father, even right now as a full grown adult. Even after all the years since his mother’s death and with all the good looks and power he carrie ,Viktor’s father had never laid eyes upon any other woman an leaving him wondering if he too will be lucky enough to receive the same loyalty and love in his life too, probably if Yuuri comesto his senses. Viktor too stands up automatically, with respect trodden in to his muscle memory. He father takes him by his arms and gives a reassuring shake.

“Stop worrying Vitya, you know what I can do in this city.” He gives a peck to Viktor’s cheeks, looks down at him in the eye and for a second Viktor wonders what he is not telling him, is it _‘I love you my son?’_    But he leaves the room leaving Viktor vulnerable to one of the greatest pain in his life. How did this man look at him in the eye with such adoration but disowned him legally as his child just because he chose a different path?


	11. I will never call you an old man again!

“The dead guy’s name is ‘Gustov’. It’s probably an alias but I know for sure he worked exclusively for Vlad.” Dino’s young voice with a tone too matured to his age pours through Nikolai’s mobile. “Before Vlad he had worked with a gang at the Leningrad Oblast. Do you want anything else?”

“Thanks, I just wanted to know whose men they were. You shouldn’t go any deeper than this. But If I need, may I contact you again through this number?”

“Sure, whatever”

Dino keeps the phone without a good bye, but Nikolai feels grateful. As one of the few people who knew what happened between Viktor and Vlad a long time ago; a piece of information he knew as a privilege of being a detective, secretly he had been wishing it wouldn’t be Vlad. But things never had a trend of being easy on him ever since he became a police office. He was always the kind of guy who got the difficult case, yet gladly dived in to it with all he had. As a result, Nikolai is certain he could pull out a weak link without involving a third party any further. He has been in the police business long enough to know whose men were who, the weak links and the strong links, the most loyal and the not loyal at all. So he starts rolling his mental database for someone with something important to loose with a close enough relationship to Vlad in order to know what went at Viktor’s house. It is not the most human thing to do, but being the nice cop has rarely worked for him.

He drives to an area his usual cop friends would rather avoid. The buildings progressively get worn out, the roads get dirtier and the air holds a heaviness that is threatening. Nikola parks his car a good mile away from his destination and walks. His clothes are street appropriate, he walks with a limp and a cheap cigarette hangs on his lips.

It takes him a good half an hour to reach his intended house with the limp he is sporting. He would have preferred to go there in the night but the urgency of the case prompts him to make the walk in the daylight. But with his dress code, unless ‘a-recently-released-from-prison-guy’ identifies him directly, he is sure that he doesn’t give away at all the fact that he is a cop.

When he knocks on the door and a slur of curses open the door, it is immediately closed on his face. 

“You owe me lil’ Pete” Nikolai grumbles to the closed door. 

“What do you want?” A voice behind the closed door asks annoyed.

“Just want to talk. I swear to god.”

The door slowly opens and Nikola steps inside. Its rustic inside. But Nikola knows the worn out walls are only a cover up for the millions of black money he is hiding.

“You don’t have to remind me every day that I owe you my life.” He complains.

“Oh, come on Pete! I only bother you on special occasions!” Nikolai protests playfully. But they both knows very well that the situation could turn in to a murder case at any given time, despite who owes-what. 

“May I sit” Nikolai asks but sits anyways without the permission.

The bold headed man sits opposite him in the ruined sofa. “What is it this time? Haven’t I provided you with enough information to write-off this debt?” He asks waving his hand between them, a gesture made to mark the invisible relationship between them.

“I’m not here counting your debt, I’d be here whether you owed me or not” Nikolai sends a round of smoke to the air and the man rolls his eyes looking disappointed.  
“I’m here simply because I need to know a few things about an incident that happened at Viktor Nikiforov residence”

The man laughs at Nikola loudly. “You really think you could just ask me anything and I’d tell you all because you scare me?” he asks between bouts of laughs. “Really? Do I look that feeble to you? I’ll tell you Mr. Detective, I don’t care about my debt any more. I’m not telling you anything!”

The situation was to be expected because Nikolai had pried information from this thug a few times before. As a well-oiled, time tested one in his business, his respect to the debt he had for Nikolai was established merely because Nikolai looked away from an evidence in a past case, but they both knew it was an investment made by the detective at a certain price for more profit in the future, profit in the form of more valuable Intel from him in the future. But it has been some time ago and the debt didn’t seem to hold any value now. He couldn’t expect to hold him for a favor for a long time. He was going to have to use force undesired by both parties this time. 

The house was small and the kitchen was open to the living room. Nikolai walked to the kitchen and switched on the hot plate like he owned it. The man looked puzzled but stood up to pull a gun out of his waist. “I don’t know what you are up to, but I swear I don’t mind killing a cop” he threatens.

“Half the police station knows I’m coming to meet you today. Do you really think it’s a good idea?” Nikolai questions. But it was a blatant lie, nobody knew he was coming here. But the effect is positive and the gun goes down.

“Still I’m not telling you anything about Vlad’s gigs”

It’s Nikolai’s turn to laugh this time. “I didn’t know it was a Vlad’s gig. But now that you’ve mentioned it’s Vlad. I’d say it’s a good enough start”

The man shrinks realizing the mistake he made. “Then isn’t it enough? Just leave now. I’m not saying a single word anymore. Vlad’s men are everywhere looking for who else will blow him. God forbid he may be having someone looking at my door right now!”

“I only want to know the two men assigned to the gig. I know the dead one, I want to know the name and place of the one who took the other athlete and ran away. Just say it and I’ll be out of your hair ASAP”

“I told you, I’m not saying anything, anymore!”

Niko dives at the man in a surprising move dragging both of them down. But Nicolai is fast to get up because he had calculated the move in his head first. He pulls the gun out of the man’s waist and proceeds to handcuff him. Next his own gun comes out aimed at the thug’s temple. “If you shout, you won’t be shouting for a long time because I’m gonna blow your head” He threatens panting.

The man grins at Nicolai. “Do you want to blow my head with your police issued gun? In my house? What did I do wrong? How on earth will you create a case against me?”

“Come on man, don’t make this any harder than it already is. We can help each other. I just want to know the name and place of the man who took Yuri Katsuki”

“You get nothing from me” the man spats at him and a blob of saliva land on Nikolai’s shoes. He looks at the detective with a shit eating grin and Nikolai’s last thread of patience vanishes.

“Okay, you brought this upon yourself” Nicolai drags the man from the cuffs and make him stand up near the stove. The dragging must be painful but Nikolai reminds himself that the man deserves all the pain for the bloody crimes he has committed with no regret. Holding him against the stove, Niko pushes down his face within inches of the hot plate.  
The man struggles with a new strength as his skin starts feeling the temperature. But Niko’s trained hands form a tight grip that doesn’t slip even for a fraction of a second. The man is small and without a gun in his hand Nikolai easily overpowered him with his physical strength alone, something he was right about when he decided to choose ‘lil’ Pete’ to squeeze the Intel, that if it came to who wins physically, Nikolai had better chances.

“Vlad doesn’t know I’m here. If you tell me what I want, I’ll be gone without a trace. Just say it and you are safe, Vlad won’t know a thing” Nikolai gives the man his last chance to escape hoping to god he will take it. He doesn’t get an immediate reaction but with every passing second he feel the strength of the struggle decrease. The man agrees shouting as his face is just two inches shy from the stove top, much to Nikolai’s relief.

“Okay, okay. It was a guy named Valentino that Vlad rarely used for less important gigs like threatening. He lives in the abandoned hospital. I don’t exactly know which floor. Now let me go” He shouts.

Nikolai lets go of the man and sighs satisfied. Burning some ones face for Intel would have given him a life time of nightmares no matter how worth it had been. As he walks to the car, he mentally makeup the team of people he should take in to the abandoned hospital. He just know it’s the abandoned hospital and he also knows a lot of homeless people live there. Finding this Valentino guy’s place will be a nightmarish labor intensive task. 

He quickens his pace to get on to the task immediately, calling the station to start gathering the resources he will need, and in the haste he misses the sound of the gun shot that shocked the small house he had just visited. Perhaps even with the impressive track record Nikolai held as a detective, he may have underestimated how hurt Vlad was with the defeat at the Nikiforov house. It’s a questionable matter, to think a man as cold as Vlad would feel anything, but he in deed is a creature of pride, to order the kill of one of his long standing allies at the simplest mention of betrayal; without a jury but not before a confession.

If Nikolai heard the gunshot, he would have gone back to his informant’s house to witness the brain matter splattered on the walls, which used to be inside the head he pushed to the stove just a few minutes ago. He would have guessed that the bullets didn’t pass through his skull until he confessed what he told the detective who was increasingly becoming a pain in the ass to Vlad’s business. 

If Nikolai heard the gun shot, he might have been able to warn his skater friend.

But he didn’t.

It is said that if one of Vlad’s men betrays him, he will get to know it immediately. His eagle eyed most trusted men spies their own, every minute, looking for a way to please their boss and climb up the mafia ladder. The easiest way is to provide their leader with information about those who keep connections with the police or are about to turn their backs. Vlad, does not shy away from killing anyone who turns their back to him, except for one occasion in the early 80’s that involved a man named Boris. 

⊷⊷⊷⊷

Viktor is secretly delighted when his brother comes to visit him with news.

“We know whose men came here. I’ve already informed Nicolai. They are Vlad’s men”

“Vlad”, Viktor repeats quietly. It’s bad news. Viktor doesn’t have to cram his memory to identify the name, and what kind of consequences would follow with any affiliation with that name. 

“We don’t know if he knows what ‘Nikiforov’ means. But in case he does, papa asked me to give you an old friend” Dino says handing him a gun that came straight out of his back.  
“How did you get this in here” Viktor asks meaning the police guards outside.

“Police? They are friends” Dino shrugs.

“Of course” Viktor admits. His hand runs over the all too familiar metal bringing back memories. It’s the one papa used to teach him shooting. He has made sure Viktor has a gun he is used to. Thoughtful as always.

“Sure you can handle that?” Dino asks mockingly and Viktor treats him with an even worse mock smile. 

“I practice enough!”

“How often?”

“None for the last year. But since I came back to Petersburg, about twice a month”. He says with disdain at himself for sneaking out to the police shooting range with Nikolai, behind Yuuri’s back. His instinct always told him that his family’s affiliations will one day come back to bite him. So he was always ready, keeping all the skills his papa taught him sharp to a tee. But practicing at his own pace cocooned in the safety of the shooting range and facing a real life situation are two very different things, Viktor cannot argue on that.

“I practice every day!“ Dino says pointing out the obvious, that he is a better shooter than Viktor.

“What are you getting at Dino, you think you can get me in a duel?”

His brother doesn’t seem to advance on his challenge, instead hands him a gun holster. 

Their silent exchange is disturbed by the sound of Makka’s feet thumping on the patio. More sounds follow Makka and Viktor is quick to hide the gun and the holster under the magazines on the coffee table ignoring the thin lipped derisive smile his brother give him.

“Look who I found” Maari comes after Makka and behind her appears Yurio with his usual scowl. Makka doesn’t seem to like Dino. It stops in front of him and sniffs, then gives Viktor a look as if communicating its displeasure. After all that’s happened, no one could blame the dog for not liking visitors. Dino and Yurio exchange icy glances icier than the ice in the ice rink.

“Yurio, Maari” Viktor welcomes them as he bend down to calm Makkachin. “This is my brother Dino” 

Collective gasps of surprises comes from Maari and Yurio. Maari is first one to collect herself and say ‘hello’, but Yurio and Dino seems to go together like soda and Mentos, Their hands never leaving pockets they are hiding.

“Maari is Yuuri’s sister and this is Yuri Plisetski, last year’s Grand prix gold medalist”

“Told you I’m not interested in skating” Dino reminds him bitterly, his piercing gaze sizing up Yurio from head to toe.

“Figure skating” Yuri is quick to correct him. “There are many types of skating in this world, small minds can’t wrap their head around”. His scowl only grows with every passing second, if it was possible.

Viktor rolls his eyes at this. “Impressive, you two are on to each other even before I finish introducing”.

Seeing the silent daggers passing between Yurio and Dino, and seeing how Viktor is enjoying the show, Maari decides to intervene. “You two are so alike, blond hair and green  
eyes, like brothers”. She praises only to have both scowls directed at her, instead of each other. 

“Well, I’ll leave you two to talk” she gives up her attempt at mediation. " Makka's caretaker said he'll be at the back gate to take him to the Vet, I'll hand him over, Viktor " With that she heads to the kitchen. Picking up Maari’s queue, Yurio follows behind her. 

Dino continues quietly. “I didn’t know you had guests”.

“Maari arrived a few days ago, she’s here for Yuuri. She doesn’t know a thing about Russia so I asked her to stay with me.”

Dino nods understanding. “The little punk?”

“Oh, you mean the one who constantly reminds me of you?”

Dino only lets out a quiet growl at that.

“He’s here just to see this old man” Viktor says gesturing at himself. “Let’s sit down and talk, shall we” 

“I have one of my men working for Vlad” Dino says in subdued tone as soon as they settle down on the sofa, quite apart from each other.

“Impressive tactic” Victor admires. “But how do you know he’s not double crossing?” 

Dino shrinks. “I just know” He barks at his brother.

“Just pointing out something” Viktor says nonchalantly, his features not showing a tiniest bit of offense that should be there. “Go on”

Dino continues wondering how on earth Viktor has the upper hand in this conversation when he is the one with the surprise. But his brother has always been the thoughtful one, thinking things through and planning everything thousand times before diving in. “He says Vlad’s gone mad at what happened. Grand mystery being his own guy killing the other and disappearing with Yuuri. Nobody can reason why Valentino took Yuuri. This is a huge blow to him. He’s poking his nose everywhere to get in to the depth of this, to find out where this Valentino guy is hiding. He might find out who you are in the process.”

Viktor face darkens hearing this. “So who took Yuuri is a guy named Valentino, but Vlad did not set him up to take Yuuri. He only wanted Valentino and the other guy to scare us?”

“Yes, and you know what it means to have Vlad involved in this.” Dino warns. “And you also know what a vengeful psycho Vlad is. Things have been quiet between Vlad and papa for the past few years and papa likes to keep it that way. But he doesn’t think Vlad’s given up his revenge on you. Now, while looking for Valentino and Yuuri, if he finds out that Nikiforov is only a change of name….”

“Hmm…” Viktor hums signing Dino to continue.

“Papa doesn’t want to start a war unless absolutely necessary, He fears if Vlad finds out who you really are, it will end in a blood bath for both parties. You know that’s not how papa likes to work.”

“You think this will be a history-repeating-itself thing?”

“No doubt about it, my man doesn’t think it will take too long for Vlad to find out Valentino. Vlad’s got his men everywhere just like papa, unless the police settles this by finding this ‘Valentino’ guy before Vlad does.”

“If not ? ”

“Do you really think Yuuri could survive a gunfight between Vlad and Valentino? If Valentino finds out Vlad is after him, then Yuuri is no more his insurance, he is his burden. Yuuri won’t have a chance, that is, of course if Yuuri’s still alive”

Dino realizes he made a mistake when he see how his brother’s face change. Viktor looks like he’s bitten by a snake. His temples popping out and he is chewing his jaws and he’s prodding his hands. “How dare you make such a cruel remark?”

“I’m sorry, I forgot he’s your secret crush” Dino apologizes with a smirk, hiding his true guilt.

“Get out” Viktor snaps without missing a beat.

Dino, silently places a box of ammunition on the coffee table and stands up. From the little they have interacted he knows his brother’s cool quickly evaporates when it meets with anything against Yuuri. Then to his utter surprise he see that Maari, holding a tray with their drinks, had stopped dead on her track. Viktor rests his head on his palm when he too notice her. Speaking in a common language is something Viktor had picked up ever since he started coaching Yuuri, especially when Yuuri’s family is around. Now he’s paying dearly for that. Had he spoken in Russian with his brother, he wouldn’t be in this trouble. 

Dino honestly feel bad for his brother. Too bad, but now it’s his brother’s problem to deal with the lady. God knows how long she was standing there listening to them. He silently walks to her, sips down the drink in one go, places it back on the tray and say ‘thank you” before he turns to leave. 

“One more thing”. He says before he exit the door, now that there is no need for hush talk. “Papa think confrontation could be easily avoided if you come to stay with us until this is over, that’s totally up for you to decide. But of course now that you’ve dragged her in to this house, it’ll be for her best if you both could come and stay.”

‘Do you really have to elaborate this Dino?’ Viktor thinks to himself. 

He’s thankful that Maari kept to herself when he asked for privacy about his family. But now she’s heard too much. All the horror stories Yuuri has ever told him about Maari comes flooding to his mind. How she knows exactly when to knock on Yuuri’s door and when not to knock and barge herself in to poor Yuuri’s room, How Maari was the first one to find out Yuuri liked boys even before Yuuri did, how when he was a teenager she frequently checked under his mattress when he was out and so forth horror stories. According to Yuuri, she was the most horrible elder sister one could have, because you can never hide anything from her for dignity’s sake. So Viktor knows Maari won’t be giving him any chance after all she heard. Why did she had to go in to the trouble of preparing a drink for Dino? 

Maari walks to where he is sitting like a zombie and places the tray on the coffee table. Viktor feels his mouth going dry and drains the remaining drink on the tray.

“Take all the time you need” Maari challenges him, her eyes boring holes in to him and Viktor sits upright on the chair. He has no plan to look like a weakling in front of his in-his-own-mind-future-sister-in-law.

“I’m leaving, just came to see how the old man is recovering, but now that you are busy digging your own grave, I’ll come later” Yurio shouts at him by the door. Viktor waves at him weakly. He is relieved, that’s two ears less to hear his story. 

Maari waits for a few long seconds before she starts firing her questions at him.

“What did he say and I quote ‘Do you really think Yuuri could survive a gunfight between Vlad and Valentino?’. Who are these people? If you know who took Yuuri, why don’t you tell the police? What’s happening here? And why is there a box of bullets?”

“Maari, take it slow. It’s not what you think” Viktor says wondering where he should start to explain. Maari folds her arms defensively in response.

“The Police already knows and they are working on it right now” Viktor starts to explain to Maari. But something whooshes between them and the shattered glass that once was the window, flies all around them. Viktor instinctively drags Maari to the floor. They cover behind the couch and Maari shouts too loudly at Viktor’s ears. “What the hell was that?”

More glass are shattered and fragments of wood fly by them before Viktor even think of an answer. They both cover their heads and sprawl on the floor on autopilot. The shooting stops for a second and Viktor reach the coffee table to grab the gun and ammunition he just received from Dino. Maari looks at him horrified. 

“Someone is shooting at us” Viktor explains.

“Yeah, I figured that much” Maari dead pans while the sounds of gun shots start again. “I really hope Dino and Yurio made it out before this started”

Viktor does the math in head. If the shooter is in the garden, then there is no way Yurio made it out, perhaps Dino but not Yurio! “I don’t think so Maari” He says. “Can you move to a safe place? I’m gonna go and check them out?” 

Together they slide the sofa and the arm chairs so Maari could have a safe passage to a safe corner. Viktor loads his gun and take one look at Maari. “Careful!” She mouths at him.

Viktor nods and crawl as fast as he could to the front door and opens it. He gets out to the patio and take cover behind a short wall. From there he could see Yurio crouched behind a large tree. It’s not safe enough, if he moves even an inch further to either side, he’d be exposed, the tree is barely covering him. Then He notice the two police men under heavy fire. They seem to barely able to shoot back, taking cover behind the police car to save their own lives under heavy fire. The small hope he had that Dino might have escaped this is destroyed when he see Dino taking cover behind the Gate. But he is not just taking cover, he is shooting back. In fact he is the only one actually fighting back. 

Viktor quickly crawls behind to where Yurio is. The boy looks panicked enough to look his age, barely rolling his eyes to look at Viktor who wastes no time. “I’ll cover you, go inside.”  
Surprisingly though, Yurio does not object this time with his attitude. He crawls inside fast through the open door while Viktor start cover fire. This gets Dino’s notice and he looks behind to see his elder brother joining in the fire exchange. He makes his way backwards along the parapet wall to where Viktor is. 

“They are Vlad’s men, opened fire on police just as I was about to exit. I think they recognized me, which means they knows about you too. We won’t survive until back up police arrive”

“We need to get out of here” Viktor agrees. “I’ll get the car, we can get to the garage through the door inside”

They both crawl inside covering for each other to see Maari and Yuri taking refuge in a corner. “C’mon, get in the car” Viktor says opening the door from inside to the garage. Not a second later after closing the door behind them, they here the gun fire inside the house. They must have gotten in. They all get in to the SUV in panic dash and Dino drives the vehicle through the wooden garage door not waiting for the remote to fully open the doors.

They burst out of the garage and in to the open road, but the relief is short lived as they soon find the same men tailing them behind in a van. Dino drives the SUV in a mad escape through the traffic but the van seemed to close in on them every passing second. Viktor jumps in to the back seat from the passenger seat. 

“Stay down” He commands pushing down Yurio and Maari to the leg space between the front and back seats.

“What are you going to do?” 

But Viktor doesn’t answer. He shoots twice at the rear window and it shatters to smithereens, creating an open space so he could see outside clearly.

“What the hell” Dino protests from the driver’s seat. 

Yurio looks up to see what is happening but Maari pulls him back to the floor. Even then, he notice Viktor’s eyes narrowing in to a thin line, his grip hardening on the gun and in sharp contrast to the fast paced ride he is in, he takes a slow deep breath… and pulls the trigger. Once.

“You, son of a gun” Dino exclaims from the front, his eyes fixed on the rear view mirror and a happy smile tugging at his lips. But a few seconds later they could feel the things tugging at the SUV’s body shaking the vehicle with each hit. It’s a shower of bullets from Vlad’s men, and Dino presses madly on the gas. Viktor ducks behind the back seat and waits until there is a pause, until the thugs are out of ammunition and they have to change the cartridges. When the pause comes, Yurio see Viktor getting in that bubble of strange calm to pull the trigger once again.

“Nice” Dino exclaims. “They are out for good, you can come out of there” He says to Maari and Yurio laughing.

Viktor sits properly on the back seat like a statue, too stunned do anything while the equally dumbstruck Maari and Yurio takes their seat on either sides of him.

Viktor’s hair is a mess and perspiration bursts out of his skin. As the adrenaline goes down, Yurio could see his grip on the gun sitting on his lap slightly tremble.

“What did you do?” Maari questions horrified. “Did you kill anyone?”

“He should have, but he only took out the front tires and the van toppled over” Dino answers from the front, his voice too excited and his grin too bright and light for the situation, as if they were in a video game. 

Viktor is still silent, his eyes fixed on nothing but straight ahead.

Yurio turns to him. Moves Viktor’s fringe of hair out of his forehead carefully and settles his messed up shirt proper in place. A small pat on the chest follows.

“That was so badass, I’m never calling you an old man again” He promises wholeheartedly.

To further Viktor’s horror, Dino raises his hand from the steering wheel for a high five and Yuri’s hand meets his.


	12. DID

Something is tugging at him, pulling and pushing.

Makka?

Yuuri slowly comes to the realization that Makka can’t be where he is because…of course!

He doesn’t take long to come to grip with where he is now, maybe his mind is getting used to it. Even before he opens his eyes, his terrified brain puts him in sync with the last thing that happened to him and right now someone is playing with his clothes.

Yuuri wakes up with a loud yelp and the person playing with him draws back.

“I’m sorry, I was trying to clean up” he apologizes.

He has the knife in his hand and he is cutting in Yuuri’s Vomit soaked, blood clotted torn T- shirt. But his hands are shaking. Yuuri wonders for a moment if his eyes are playing tricks. But no, His hands are really shaking and is doing a bad job at cutting through the already torn T-shirt Yuuri has barely hanging on him.

But over every other sense he is feeling, Yuuri can’t ignore the way his mouth feel. His mouth tastes stinky and he taste the blood from his chapped lips. It’s so cold and he is shivering.

“Water” he mouths barely audible.

In an instant a glass of water is in front of him. Yuuri barely has the strength to drink it, but he slurps a few sips of water with difficulty. His captor then starts cutting the plastic binds that binds him to the chair. Loosened from the only thing that holds him in place Yuuri falls to the floor in a heap.

Falling down like a boneless human pile itself is a strenuous activity to him now. He takes a few ragged breaths. His captor kneels by him while he is struggling for air. Now that Yuuri is out of his binds he removes his T-shirt slowly and easily. It stinks so bad, even Yuuri in his half alive state is aware. When the fabric that is glued to his wounds by his own blood is pulled, against his skin, Yuuri stops at the brink of passing out again because of the pain. But when the T-shirt finally leaves him completely, taking away with it the smell, he is utterly grateful.

The full extension of his damaged body is displayed out in the open. Yuuri could see through his half-open eyes how his captor clasp his mouth with his hands, the knife scattering to the floor.

“That bad?” Yuuri asks and gets no answer in return.

The cold hits his cloth-less body like a harsh reminder that he is no luck no matter what happens. He wraps around himself moving his painful limbs to get some warmth but the man is tugging and pulling him up.

“C’mon, can you stand up?” Yuuri is asked by his captor and he feels ridiculed. Because he can’t! A small chuckle escapes him at how pathetic he is now. He wonders how long he was out. It’s clearly morning, Yuuri could tell by the light, but it looks more like dusk. Though only a few rays of moonlight like light comes through the holes in hastily covered windows, they still burns his sore eyes. He could hear a whooshing sound from outside, the usual sound he heard since he came here raised to a howling, like a blizzard. It has to be a blizzard because the cold is even worse now.

Yuri feels his body being pulled up. He allows himself to be lifted up, supporting himself up with his numb legs. The captor drags him to the bathroom and on the way he observe the burning fire place. It should be the only thing keeping them from being frozen.

After a painful walk, Yuuri is sitting on the toilet bowl. He balances his frail body by pressing his hand to the nearby wall, and pulls his pants down with one hand concentrating all the strength to the task. But nothing comes out. He waits, half waiting for pee and half out of deathly exhaustion. No pee; a sure sign of infection and dehydration. Finally giving up, he stands on his wobbly feet with the help of the wall and pulls his pants up barely descent enough.  His one healthy hand trembles at the buttons and Yuuri wishes he could just leave it open just to save the ridiculous amount of effort he has to put to just button up his jeans. But knowing he should be presented to a man who a few hours ago tried to abuse him, he fully completes the task of securing his pants.

Yuuri shivers with the memory. Although he knows that it isn’t the same man in the same body, if his theory is right, he won’t have warnings before the personalities switch. He slowly walks to the sink and splash some water on his face. Wash his eyes and gargle water washing away the taste of bile in his throat. Toothpaste and a brush sounds like a dreamy luxury he cannot afford now.

He is helped out of the bathroom, although the right word would be to say ‘dragged’ and placed on his chair.

“Please, not the chair, Bind me up all you want, not the chair” Yuuri pathetically begs in his inaudible voice. But the man seem to get the gist of his mumbling and he places him on the floor, his back against the wall for support.

“I’m not binding you up anymore” he says.

Yuuri stares at him when he is placed on the floor and his captor dress him up in a fresh, warm sweater. Carefully, he put Yuuri’s hand with the damaged shoulder first and then the other hand and without moving his injured hand he pulls the oversized sweater over and down his head. Yuuri feels a comfortable warmth.

Then to his utter surprise he is presented with a few protein bars. He is keeping his injured hand tight to his chest and debates moving it to open the wrapper. Although his stomach churns at the sight of food, his shoulder’s warning overpowers it. He wouldn’t risk moving it even if it meant he can’t eat. Instead he decide to use his teeth and the free hand. But his captor quickly takes it from him only open it and place it back in his good hand. Yuuri gratefully takes a bite. He slowly nibbles at it because he knows his body could react to food in a different way after starving for full two days. He could manage to eat only a half of it before nausea settles and appetite runs out. Yuuri puts away the rest hoping to keep the little he ate inside.

“You should eat” His captor says and Yuuri manages to glare at him with his best ‘since when do you care?’ look. “You starved me for two days and if I eat a lot now, I will vomit everything.”

The man gives up and slouches next to him with a sigh. The wind whooshes outside. They sit side by side.

“Is it morning?”

The man answers a ‘yes’ just by nodding.    

“I’m Dimitri” He says after a few silent minutes.

“Nice to meet you!” Yuuri retorts with mock excitement. “Let’s get to the important stuff then, like what are you going to do about me? And most importantly, how is Viktor? You promised to find out”

“I don’t know about Viktor” His captor confesses and Yuuri feels his anger simmering inside him.

“You had a whole day to figure out” Yuuri shouts between ragged breaths. The physical discomfort he is handling is making rational thinking an impossible task for Yuuri. He shouldn’t piss off this man, but his pain and exhaustion is rampantly looking for an exit.

“I didn’t want to risk exposing me.” Dimitri shouts back.

“If you are going to kill me, at least be kind to give me the relief that Viktor is okay. Can’t you at least do that?” Yuuri asks without the usual mock in his voice.

Dimitri stands up and walks to a window. He pulls one of the wood panels that’s covering it haphazardly. A wood panel gives in after a few tries. He pulls it all the way and puts it down on the floor. A harsh slap of wind with snow bits attacks Yuuri. He covers his eyes at the mild light that comes through it. This is the first time Yuuri is seeing outside after nearly three days although the count is lost to him. His eyes takes time to adjust to the mild light. Thankful to the sweater he is wearing Yuuri draws the courage to look outside.

It’s a small space of about one feet by half a feet and it reveals nothing but snow and wind. There is a sharp whooshing sound outside.

“There is a blizzard outside, I can’t find my phone and the car won’t start. I think the gasoline is frozen. I don’t think I’ll make it much far on foot in this storm. So, we are both stuck here.” He exclaims. “I’m not gonna kill you, I will take you to safety as soon as the blizzard is over”

“Great!” Yuuri says sardonically. He leans his head on the wall behind him for support, his own head feeling too heavy for his body to hold up. A few minutes pass between them as the man push the window panel back to stop the freezing cold from entering the room.

“Then let’s get to the next important thing. The ring!” he demands through gritted teeth clearly holding back. His captor disappears out the door in to the kitchen.

Running away does cross Yuuri’s mind, but even with half its usual processing power his brain provides all the reasons why he shouldn’t _and_ couldn’t; closed doors, snow storm outside and minimum to non-available physical strength. He could barely take two steps on his own while his fever is burning him inside out. Even his captor who is in full health dare to step outside. So he decides that he’d rather stay inside and try to survive.

Before long Dimitri comes back holding something in his palm. First he gives Yuuri his precious ring back and Yuuri hungrily wears it like his life depends on it. Then he places a glass of water and some white tablets in front of him. “It’s an OTC antibiotic tablet and a painkiller, you can decide to take it or not”.

Yuuri knows the tablets could either kill him or help him. Maybe he’s just planning to kill him the easy way. But the pain killer tablets are familiar to him, he’s seen them before, used them before. So he takes them anyway without thinking much. Anything is better than the suffering, even death. Yuuri swallows them down with ice cold water.

“Where did you get them?” Yuuri asks out of curiosity. Pain killers and Antibiotics can’t be lying around in here when he couldn’t at least find anything to eat.

“I bought them yesterday, after office, along with the sweater.” He says.

“So you weren’t planning on releasing me?” Yuuri accuses feeling betrayed.

“Why would I want to go to jail for something I didn’t do? I didn’t take you here!” Dimitri fires back.

Yuuri looks down because he doesn’t know how to argue with that. They stay in silence afterwards. Yuuri wonders what to do next, and how ironic that they have come to a situation where they sit side-by- side, captor and captive, but here they are. A few minutes in to the silence Yuuri is feeling a little bit better than his previous state. His head throbs a little less. Maybe the pain killers are really pain killers.  But there is one more pain burning Yuuri he doesn’t want away. “Did you really not find anything about Viktor? Or have you decided to not do me the favor”

Yuuri panics when no answer comes his way. “Is he not okay?”

“I don’t know” He answers in a wavered voice recognizing the panic in him. “Besides, I don’t remember much of yesterday. I don’t know if I looked for him or not”

“When did you switch? Was it on your way here?” Yuuri asks the obvious but when he notice the look on Dimitri’s face he realizes that it isn’t as obvious to him as it is to Yuuri.

“What switch?”

“Your personalities switch without your control, right? That’s why you don’t remember what you do because it’s the other personalities taking prominence in your body”

Yuuri’s ‘as a matter of fact’ observations does not seem to sit well with Dimitri as he shouts at Yuuri. “What are you talking about?”

Yuuri’s brown eyes widen expressing his disbelief and fear. “You mean you don’t know?– didn’t know?”

“Don’t know what?”

“That you have multiple personalities, at least that’s what I think, I thought you are aware” Yuuri realizes he is in fact unaware about what lies beneath his problems as the man stares at him dumbfounded. “It’s called DID” Yuuri provides.

“DID?”

“Dissociative Identity Disorder, you have multiple personalities in you, when the other personalities take over, you have gaps in your memory”

The man still stares at him and Yuuri decides to continue. “How else will you explain waking up here with no recollection whatever of how you got here, can you explain to me?” Yuuri challenges. “Or are you putting up an act to confuse me? Did you kill your partner and kidnapped me because you saw the opportunity to avenge Viktor’s departure. And when you woke up next day; Dimitri, all you wanted was to just get to your office, you were neither a thug who went to Viktor’s house to kill him nor were you the person seeking. “

“I have No such issue. I didn’t kill anyone, I didn’t kidnap you, I don’t want revenge from you and I certainly didn’t hurt Vitya. You are not even making any sense to me right now. You must be going crazy because of your pains.” Dimitri refuses strongly, but his statement is betrayed by his tone because it sounds laced with doubts.

Yuuri laughs at that. “Really?” he retorts. “You say that after _you_ inflicted all the wounds in me?”

“I didn’t”

“Believe me, it was all you!” Yuuri snaps at him angrily,his brown eyes drilling in to the mans doubtful ones, but then Yuuri remembers other things, good things and bad things and he lists them all out in the open.

“It was also you who tried to kill Viktor, it was also you who had a kind enough heart to give me water and pain meds and it was the same you who last night tried to…” Yuuri feels his throat dry and unable to continue.  The man stares at him trying to process everything he is saying so Yuuri finds the right word and drags it out of his mouth. “…tried to rape me last night! Surely, I did not imagine _that_!”

That was all the convincing it seems needed to the man. “I tried what?”

Yuuri continues to glare at him because he is so angry with renewed memories of last night. “You tried to do exactly that! Luckily, I managed to throw up and you sprinted away. Now you go all darling with my ring and pain killers!”

Yuuri is literally throwing darts at him and the man looks like he is hit with them in all the right places. His hand clutches his chest and he moves away, like he was just being told that he was a hazard to Yuuri.

“I tried to? I’m…”  Dimitri stutters. His eyes are glassy and wet. For a second Yuuri wants to pinch himself to make sure he was really seeing it.

“There is no way, I know how that feels” Dimitri says as his voice gets louder. He gets up to his feet pinning Yuuri under his accusing gaze. “There is no way I would inflict the same pain I went through on someone else! You are playing with me because I don’t remember!”

Yuuri takes a double at that. He couldn’t concentrate on the insinuation Dimitri was throwing at him, but on the fact that he had been through the _same pain_. He remembered how Dimitri vowed to not go back to Jail because he was abused there, he just did not think it would be …. “You were…?”

But before he could continue, the man sprints away and Yuuri hear the thud of the door and the rustle of footsteps on the snow. Yuuri stares at the direction the man disappeared to for a few seconds coming to his senses and realizes that he may have scared away the only person who could have helped him out of the hell hole he was in. Maybe he should have taken a swifter approach introducing DID to the man.

Bummer…!


	13. History

Some time in to his unstable nap Yuuri hears the door open but he dare not open his eyes. Who comes in to the house could be Dimitri but not exactly in his right mind. He hears the footsteps coming to his room. When they stop at his door, Yuuri awaits the man to lounge at him with a knife, but nothing happens and he hear the footsteps fading away. Yuuri continues his pretend sleep and actually falls asleep thanks to exhaustion and the slight relief brought by the pain killers.

 

When he wakes up next, the room is completely dark. He could see the light coming from the fire place in the living room, its warmth and burning flames inviting the cold and shaking Yuuri to lie down in front of it. When his pain reminds him his luck, Yuuri push the thought to the back of his mind.  The power of the pain killers must have faded away, for he could properly feel his legs and the new discomfort that came from his right foot. Yuuri could not see anything in the dark. He spends another few minutes like this waiting for something to happen.

 

When no sound other than the fire place and the snow storm comes, Yuuri decides to make a move. As he slowly try to stand up, a sharp pain shots up from his right foot. He immediately slips to the floor. Fear wraps him because it’s his _foot_ , and he quickly realize that he never felt anything in his feet ever since he first found himself in this room.

 

That’s right, he didn’t feel _anything_ at all because they were numb from sitting down for hours in the same position. This is the first time he woke up without the numbness in his feet because he was sleeping on the floor with all his four limbs free. Yuuri slowly lifts the hem of his jeans and feels his ankle. He feels the unnatural warmth and the swollen skin. 

 

So far, Yuuri was somewhat content with everything his upper body went through because his legs were fine. Perhaps in the back of his mind he was hoping to salvage himself from this situation, lead a normal life and skate again. Perhaps he was happy his wound was in his shoulder and not his feet. But now Yuuri feels that comfort disappearing. His ankle has a problem and Yuuri cannot remember what happened. He can’t even see what’s wrong with it because of the darkness.

If he could get to the fire place, then he would be able to see the damage. Fueled by fear, Yuuri drags himself on his butt as slowly as he could. Both his ankle and shoulder protests every time they are moved but Yuuri’s adrenaline rush subsides the protests. He has to know what is wrong with his ankle so he could properly panic.

 

His ‘butt-journey’ halts at the end of his room when he catch the sight of Dimitri lying in front of the fire place. He is sprawled on the floor, His boots are thrown across the floor and they are covered with snow, so is his coat lying at the door. He must have run an impulse marathon in the snow out of panic, Yuuri guesses. It would be dangerous to wake him up now.

 

Yuuri sits there contemplating the risk. When the last night replayed in his head, he just couldn’t lift his butt anymore. Deciding to retract, he moves back, but as an angry pain shoot up from his ankle Yuuri decides against his better judgment and moves just a little further, not too far, just enough to get a little bit of light to see. He moved on the floor using his butt and the good leg. Just a few feet. When the light from the fire reach his feet, he stops.

 

Dimitri is fast asleep. Yuuri turns and sit with his back against the wall. The warmth from the fire is so comforting Yuuri is tempted to move closer. But he restrains himself, gladly breathing the air that smelled like barbecue gone bad because of creosote and soot build up. The fireplace probably hasn’t been cleaned in ages. But the heated air fills his lungs with warmth and he forces his senses to be satisfied with just that. He takes a few more breaths that calms him down enough to look at his ankle.

 

Yuuri slowly bend and brings his leg up to him and pulls up the hem of his jean. His ankle is swollen, very visibly swollen even in the dim light. It’s warm to the touch and looks bluish and purple. Yuuri puts the hem of his jean down. He is trembling. He rolls up the hem of his jean again just to make sure he isn’t hallucinating. A long look at his ankle proves him it is what it is. Is he done with skating? Yuuri’s heart beats faster and his breath becomes shorter.

 

Yuuri glares at the man who caused this who is lying asleep peacefully in front of him. Opposite him is the room that had a wall full of his and Viktor’s pictures and posters. Even from where he is, Yuuri could see the knife still stabbed to his poster. A devilish idea springs in his mind. If he could get to the knife, then…Yuuri contemplates what he could do with it. What does he want? Kill this man? Get rid of him? Definitely not, hurt him? Yuuri can’t stand the sight of the bloody picture that comes to his mind, let alone act upon it.  Yuuri think it’s best if he could just use it as a weapon in case he needs to defend himself.  Although this man isn’t actually keeping him in captivity, there was no guarantee the other one will not appear.

“That looks bad” Yuuri snaps out of his conspiracy planning when he hear the man in front of him, who has woken up. “Especially for a figure skater.” He says seriously.

Yuuri keeps silence not knowing which one of the personalities is in front of him. Dimitri must have recognized his fear. “It’s me” he says clarifying.

Yuuri exhales in relief. His hand rubs on his painful ankle drawing the attention to it unintentionally.  “I don’t remember how it happened”

Dimitri chuckles. “I don’t either, maybe the other one does”

Yuuri understands the subliminal message in that statement. Despite the initial rejection about multiple personalities, Dimitri is agreeing with him. He looks calmer than he used to be too.

“Your pain killers must have worn off by now, may I give you another round?”

Yuuri nods. And Dimitri disappears to what appears to be the kitchen. He stares at his ankle again and pushes the hem further down to make sure he doesn’t have to witness the bluish skin. If the storm passes, what should be the next move? Yuuri starts mulling over his options to divert his attention from the ankle deciding that keeping himself alive should be the top of his priority, whether he could skate should come next.

Dimitri appears with more pain killers and antibiotic. Yuuri swallows them down without hesitation, addicted to the relief they bring him. As he sets aside the glass, he see how Dimitri is observing his covered ankle.

“I’m really sorry” The expression on his face is really true to his words. His hand stretch as if to touch his ankle but he retreats it. “I’ll get you to a hospital as soon as I can, I just wish this storm would pass quickly”

“But helping me will get you in the jail, won’t it?” Yuuri reminds him.

“I don’t care anymore, I’m a grown up man than when I first went to jail. More than anything, I can’t become the man I’m trying to avoid, can I?”

Yuuri doesn’t know what to say. This turn of events have completely taken him by surprise. Dimitri sits next to him against the wall.

“I ran” he suddenly says in to the space in front of him. “Earlier” he mentions to clarify what he is talking about. “I ran until I realized if I continued like this, either the blizzard or me running away from myself is probably gonna kill me anyways.”

Yuuri observes the strange calmness in him like he really has made up his mind about what he would do next. Before Yuuri know, words start spiraling out of Dimitri, somber and sad.

“That’s what I always did in my life. I ran. Whenever anything got bad, I ran. From people who abused me, from people who tried to help me, from everyone.”

His hand roams on his knee aimlessly making careless patters.

“I hope you don’t mind me asking, because it looks like it’s the right time. To call Viktor by ‘Vitya’, you must be close to him?” Yuuri asks drawing up the courage to inquire something that had been bothering him since the beginning of this ordeal.

“Has Viktor never mentioned about anyone called Dimitri?” He asked somewhat disappointed.

Yuuri shakes his head to say no.

“He must have really forgotten me then” Dimitri says in a broken voice.

“Thinking back, Viktor hasn’t mentioned a lot about his personal life to me” Yuuri says stealing a glance thinking maybe this guy is an ex-lover. “I’m his student, he doesn’t have to share those with me anyways.”

Dimitri looks at him like Yuuri was caught lying. But he doesn’t comment.

“Viktor saved me” Dimitri says. “I had just run away from a dungeon that was a sorry excuse of an orphanage when Viktor found me on his way to school. I was cornered by a street gang when Viktor came like an angel, kicked around them the best he can, took my hand and ran straight to his home with me instead of going to school.”

Yuuri could see the smile dancing on his face with the pleasant memory. His description creates a picture of a young Viktor helping Dimitri. Yuuri realizes that during the three months he had spent in Viktor’s house, he has never seen an old fashioned photo album with embarrassing childhood photos.

“His father was furious when Viktor told him what happened”

Yuuri can’t ignore the pang he feels in his heart anymore when Viktor’s father was mentioned. How ignorant he had been of what went on Viktor’s life, stabs him straight in the heart. Was he not considerate enough to Viktor? Or was Viktor intentionally hiding it from him? From what Yuuri had seen, Viktor craved family. How quickly he warmed up to Yuuri’s mom and dad only envied Yuuri back then.

“But the first thing he asked _me_ was when I had my last meal. He then sat me in front of the breakfast table and waited with me until I ate like a pig. Once I was done, Isabella gave me a much needed bath. Viktor’s clothes were too big for me even though I was good four years older than him. But severe malnutrition made me look like I was four years younger than him. So she gave me Dino’s clothes”

Yuuri’s brain was doing somersaults inside his skull. There was just so much information about Viktor’s life in the first few sentences alone that came from this man about people Yuuri never knew was in Viktor’s life. Yuuri shrank feeling so small and insignificant in front of Dimitri. He had so many questions and so much to learn.

“Who is Isabella and who is Dino?”

Dimitri gives a discerning look to Yuuri. “You really don’t know anything about his family, do you? How could you spend almost a year with him and not know his family at all?” He questions Yuuri and Yuuri feels embarrassed for even acknowledging he knew Viktor.

“Isabella is Viktor’s mother, kindest woman I’ve ever known to this date, Dino is Viktor’s younger brother.”

“Papa Boris?”

“That’s what everyone called Viktor’s father”

Yuuri feels so hungry for the story he forgets his embarrassment and gives an encouraging look at Dimitri.

“He took me straight to the police. Viktor didn’t understand the need for legalities back then, he was angry when Papa took me in his car. Next thing I know, I was back in an orphanage. But Viktor came back with papa and Isabella and promised that they are working towards adopting me. I was thrilled. They came to see me often. Then at once it all stopped. After two whole years, papa Boris showed up at once and I was adopted. When I came home, papa explained to me that something bad happened and he had to send Viktor and Dino to France with Isabella. So I was adopted to a house that had no family. To this day I don’t know what exactly happened”

“France” Yuuri’s voice echoes in the silence between them. “But he did come back to Russia eventually?”

“When Isabella died in a car crash, yes.”

Yuri gasped at that, he was expecting to meet this kind woman one day. Viktor’s mother. The kind woman who made Viktor to be the man he is. Yuuri’s heart fills with sorrow as he realizes that he will never get to know this woman.

“Papa couldn’t keep Viktor and Dino alone in France. So they were back at home.”

“When was this?”

“I was in college, so Viktor must have been around fifteen. I was working towards a scholarship and wasn’t home often. I had to work as twice as a normal college boy. Papa provided me more than everything I wanted so I had to make him proud. That was my way of gratitude.  Viktor spent a lot of time in the rink, rest of his time was spent on assisting Dino who was becoming a ‘difficult case,’ loss of his mother was getting to him. It turned him in to an angry spaz. So, even when we were together finally, we didn’t get to know each other that well.” Dimitri filled the space between them with a long sigh and looked at Yuuri with regret. “I wish I found the time to be around them.” He says turning his regret to words.

 

“Who? Viktor and Dino?”

 

“Yes, but honestly, I felt uneasy around them, I didn’t know how to connect. Now that I think of it, I think it was partly due to the fact that I didn’t know what happened to him. He was different. Viktor was a little dark to be around. Not the kid who helped me in the street. I felt that he preferred to be alone and I didn’t know how to reach him through his walls. So I ran, every time I could, I ran and hid in the college. Like Viktor and Dino were strangers in _my_ house. We had gone in our own paths for far too long we didn’t know where to rendezvous.”

Yuuri carefully observes Dimitri while listening to him. He talks about college, about scholarships.  The more he listens to him, the more he observes him, Yuuri realizes that Dimitri isn’t your normal street gangster. He isn’t even your normal office worker. He is a man of intellect, but it seemed that he felt just too much…of everything but had no idea about sorting out his emotions.

Yuuri himself wasn’t new to the same problem. It was clear that whenever Dimitri felt the emotions overwhelming him, he ran instead of facing them. When it came to Yuuri, whenever his anxiety riddled him with confusing thoughts, he faced the challenge anyways. He feared the failure so much that he faced it just so he could get rid of it. He failed again and again until he got used to it but didn’t let it stop him. Maybe his stamina didn’t stop at physical strength, he had mental stamina too. Just as much as his anxiety ruined him, his stamina pushed him forward, way past anxiety’s territory. Whereas Dimitri, ran instead of untangling his relationship with Viktor. It seems he didn’t know what Viktor was to him, or vice versa.

 

When Dimitri started talking again, seeming to have pulled his thoughts together, Yuuri listened more intently, like a kid entranced by a fairy tale. His instinct had him convinced he wasn’t just listening to Viktor’s back story, but that it held answers to why Dimitri was who he was.

 

“During this time Viktor was introduced to Yaakov, an old friend of papa to continue his skating. Saying Yaakov was impressed by his skating was an understatement. He trained Viktor with intention to compete in Russian junior nationals. Papa and Viktor had a huge argument in the study when the competition came around. Papa was upset, I didn’t know why but he wanted to keep Viktor hidden.  I remember he phoned and shouted at Yaakov as well. He kept Viktor on house hold.”

“But he did somehow competed in the junior nationals, right?” Yuuri  says fondly going back to the ice castle days when he and Yuko stared at the small TV, watching Viktor skate with wonder.

“Yes, only because Viktor ran from home a few weeks prior to the competition. Papa in return, did the unthinkable. He disowned Viktor. Changed his name. Viktor became Viktor Nikiforov and Yaakov became his guardian. I’m sure papa pulled a few strings with the officials because the process happened unnaturally quickly for those times. Viktor competed in nationals as a new person with a new last name. I was devastated, so was Dino. I hated to even meet Papa.”

How quickly the dynamics of the story changed was shocking. It left Yuuri wondering how stable the presence of his family had been his whole life.

“When Viktor won, his face was everywhere, in TV, in papers. It was like looking at Isabella with his long hair. Papa went to the extreme of removing all his photos from home. I couldn’t live there anymore. It felt like a graveyard. So I ran, I was a legal adult anyway. I left and I never looked back.”

“But they were your family” Yuuri said in a futile protest over something that had already happened, unable to shake the idea that this maybe the starting point of all the drama. But Dimitri’s next explanation hinted it was birthed a long time ago, this was only the plot twist.

“I know, but all my life, everyone I got close to always left me. My own parents, not that they deserved to be called parents anyway, Viktor, Isabella, again Viktor…it was never going to stop. This time, I detached myself from everyone so no one gets to leave me.”

“But here you are, how did that happen?” Yuuri asked with honest curiosity. How has he become a man obsessed with the same person who he wanted to be detached with?

“I wish I knew. I started to suffer from amnesia since Viktor left home. I sought the university therapist, who ended up saying it was the life long suffering. He wanted me to make amends with my family, with papa. But I couldn’t get myself to do it. I couldn’t face the man who helped me become family from being an orphan on the street, but made his own son an orphan. I didn’t know him anymore. I despised him”

Yuuri was starting to feel pity. His chest ached with a phantom pain for everyone in Viktor’s family. Dimitri’s expressions were strained to say the least. Yuuri expected him to stop his story right there, but something keeps him going, as if he was waiting to tell it. There, inside the cold and cursed house, stuck inside because of the blizzard outside, perhaps he found the best audience in the form of a brown eyed skater with a heart full of grace.

“I knew Papa was looking for me. So I hid in the part of the city where he would never look for me. Vlad’s area.”

“Vlad?”

”An old rival of Papa, he is Bratva. My strategy worked, he never found me. I saw Viktor rising to a star, winning one competition after the other. He never looked back. I never looked back. And I was so glad. In some way, I felt like we both had finally found our freedom”

“Bratva” Yuuri repeats surprised. What could Viktor’s father may have done to rival a gang member? But Dimitri didn’t seem to have heard him, continuing to entrance his only audience.

“I was employed as soon as I left college. I earned well, my life was fine. But my amnesia grew every day. I started waking up in three different places. This shack, an abandoned hospital in Vlad’s area, and my own apartment, also in Vlad’s area. I was so scared. I didn’t tell anyone. But when I showed up in office with scars I couldn’t explain, my boss sent me to another therapist. He treated me for amnesia, sleep walking, depression, you name it, I had it” Dimitri chuckles and Yuuri didn’t know if it was because he was trying to stop himself from crying or he was just honestly amused with his therapist’s work.

“But it was my fault because I never mentioned that I constantly woke up in the same three places. Except one day, I woke up in Jail. I spent three weeks there for a crime I didn’t know was committed by me. I was so naïve and confused the experienced prisoners made me in to a joke.”

Yuuri realized that this is where he said he was abused. Being imprisoned for something he didn’t remember doing, being made fun of and being abused because he was too young and naïve to the prison life…Yuuri couldn’t imagine how he must have felt, what he must have gone through. It was unimaginable. To some extent he also realized it was the same thing Yuuri himself is pushed through. Maybe Dimitri sub consciously is putting Yuuri through the same hell he went through; confused, tortured and abused.

“I didn’t lose my job when I came back from jail because I was too good at it and we were in the middle of a serious project, they couldn’t quite replace me. I was sent back to the therapist but it was the same diagnosis. I still didn’t mention to him that every time I woke up here, this wall had a new photo on it.” Dimitri says pointing at the wall full of posters.

Yuuri couldn’t imagine the work put in to it by the person who created it. How one might achieve such a feat, is beyond Yuuri’s imagination. Even in the dim light, as he stares at their photos, Yuuri feels Viktor’s warmth and affection wrap him in safely. There were some instances where Yuuri felt he didn’t deserve Viktor’s attention. When in public, there were times Yuuri felt both humbled by having Viktor by his side standing up for him, but was mortified by his PDA. Right now there isn’t a thing in this world Yuuri wouldn’t give to have Viktor next to him. Whatever family drama brought about Yuuri’s current situation, Yuuri felt he doesn’t care anymore, for he feels that Viktor is his family, and whatever drama that comes with it, Yuuri would gladly accept. He reluctantly tears away his eyes from their posters to concentrate on Dimitri’s voice.

“Then for the second time, I woke up and wasn’t alone, you were here. Bound to a chair and bloody. I can’t explain how scared I felt when I first saw you, especially because I knew you as Vitya’s protégé. But my experience in jail kept me from doing the right thing. I should have called the police right then. We wouldn’t be stuck here in this storm if I did”

“I can understand that” Yuuri responds immediately.

“You can?”  Dimitri looks at him unsure.

Like hell he could. Yuuri feels sick to his stomach even when he thinks about last night when he was almost abused, but he was saved before he fully suffered and yet that little encounter itself was terrifying. Dimitri has gone through the full ordeal, Yuuri couldn’t find it in him to blame Dimitri.

 “Yes” Yuuri confirms. ”Not that I like it, not one bit but I can understand how terrified you must have been when you thought about going back to jail for something you didn’t remember doing. It was happening all over again to you, wasn’t it?”

Dimitri looks at Yuuri trying to understand if Yuuri really means what he say.

“Thank you.” He says when met with Yuuri’s honest expression full of thought and reflection, not a hint of usual derision in his voice.   

Silence falls between them again and Dimitri pushes another energy bar to Yuuri who slowly start eating it, pausing frequently to make sure it stays in his stomach.

Yuuri thought about everything Dimitri had said. He was Dimitri, the orphan who built a successful life but in the end came to hate papa Boris, who lived near a Bratva member just to avoid him. But he was also the man who filled a wall with Viktor and Yuuri’s photos, who fancied Viktor enough to torture and slowly kill Yuuri. Dimitri must have fallen in love with Viktor at some point in their distant relationship. They were legally brothers. There was not a chance his love for Viktor could ever materialize in real life. That must have added to his miseries that made him in to something else. A tortured human who couldn’t establish the emotional connections to disperse the strong emotions he felt.

Yuuri was no expert in psychology, and his head was still throbbing and he was in pain all over his body. He wasn’t in a good enough mind to analyze everything. So he left it there. He had to make sure Dimitri was Dimitri until the storm is ended. If else, all his chances at surviving will deteriorate.

“I’ve seen your journey with Vitya” Dimitri says. “Are you two together? Are those rings…?”

“No” Yuuri says firmly because he has never been more clear about how he felt for Viktor in the past and how he is feeling for him in the present. “But I wish they were. Viktor used to joke about them saying they are engagement rings, but I bought them as a thank you token to him, he dedicated all his time and a season to train me without even a fee. I never would have survived this season without him.”

“Are you in love with him Yuuri?” Dimitri asks with the same twirl in tongue when Viktor pronounce his name and Yuuri feels an ache deep within his heart.

“Did you consider that maybe he wasn’t actually joking? Even through the TV, I’ve noticed the way he looks at you.”

“I’d say I was stupidly in denial until I laid my eyes on that wall. First I thought my strong feelings for him were a result of idolizing him my whole life. Then I thought it was gratitude.  But I now know for sure. I love him, I definitely do and maybe he loves me back too?” Yuuri answers without wasting a second. “The thing is, I’ve been in love with him for so long that even when he was next to me, living with me, I didn’t recognize a change in my feelings towards him. Because there wasn’t anything to change, I was always in love.”

 And then he think about the man sitting next to him “You?”

“I think I always have been in love with him too, from the first moment he saved me on that street. But I’d say I didn’t know it until Viktor kissed you on the cup of china. I felt so jealous and that’s when I realized it”

They stare in to each other and a twinkle of something is exchanged between them, something heavy but of understanding.

Dimitri squats next to Yuuri and pats Yuuri’s good hand in a comforting gesture.

“Viktor’s too good to be not loved, don’t you agree?” He asks with a teeniest bit of a smile tugging at his lips. “He always had a knack for saving people, just like Isabella. Which reminds me that, that is the path I should take if I really love either of them as much as this pain tells me” Dimitri says clutching his chest. Yuuri understands that what he meant was that his heart is aching for them. Yuuri is bewildered if the pain in his chest is the same thing.

“So Yuuri, I’ll get you home as soon as I can” he promises.

“Let’s try and not be someone else until then” Yuuri agrees. ”and alive if this cold is mercy enough!”

So they wait. They wait that whole night for the storm to pass. Dreaming about the same man and falling asleep next to each other.

 

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                   

 

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I re-read the first chapter and didn't like many parts in it. I guess I owe every one who read this past the first chapter a huge thank. I also did edit the first chapter to redeem myself a little- if it is even possible. Now I am scared to re-read the second chapter.


	14. The search

Nikolai inspects the bare minimum room that heavily bears the hints that it used to be an operating room a few decades ago. The worn out equipment are piled on to a side of the room, a clear attempt at trying to make the space livable and the operation bed seems like someone slept on it very recently. Still the air feels forlorn and it smells wet and musty, Nikolai couldn’t help but feel like he stepped in to a funeral.

His work had been disturbed earlier, even before it started by the news that Viktor was targeted by Vlad’s men. Nikolai wants to run to Boris house where Dino took them and make sure they were OK. He shuddered when he made the call to Viktor upon hearing the news over the police com, but Viktor had assured him they were all okay. He wanted Nikolai to carry out the investigation undisturbed, so they could find Yuuri as quickly as they can. In all honesty, if Vlad is involved in this case which he is, no place on earth is as safe as Boris house for Viktor. Feeling a little relieved, Nikolai wrinkles his nose and starts the inspection, determined to find something that will lead him closer to Yuuri.

His supporting officers had been working for hours, combing through every abandoned room in the hospital building and asking questions from every homeless man sober enough to answer a question yet it was a drunken man’s ramble that had led them to the right spot.

His ramble matched the exact description Viktor had provided of the man who took Yuuri, and from the very first moment Nikolai stepped in to the room, he knew it had to be the place. It was abandoned alright, but stood out contrast to all the other rooms. Among the homeless people who lived haphazardly in the hospital passages, this room looked like it was a permanent residence. The equipment was neatly stacked to a side, and the operating bed was used as a bed. Whoever occupied this place didn’t sleep on the floor too drunk to get up, instead he neatly hung up his coat on a saline rod and slept comfortably on the worn out but clean operating bed.

Nikolai’s eyes roamed back to the saline rod. The coat looked like it was in the wrong place.

He ran his hand through its soft fur lapels, brown in color it perfectly matches the dark burgundy fabric that looked and felt like it would cost most of a government detective’s annual income. As he inspects the designer label, a nearby police officer hums enviously. “Right coat in the wrong place? “

Nikolai passes him a look of agreement. The fashion label caters its clients individually, there is no way it belongs here.

“It’s probably stolen” the officer provides. But Nikolai has learnt not to jump in to conclusions. His hand roams inside its pockets, a piece of paper neatly folded in half comes out.

The paper, turns out to be a rent receipt, for an apartment, ironically also in an area controlled by Vlad. The coat could very well be stolen, but the rent payer’s name gives him the chills.

“Paid by one ‘Dimitri Rudin’, you know him sir?” The officer asks seeing Nikolai’s worried face.

“Viktor Nikiforov used to.” Nikolai answers. “Get a warrant to obtain the details of the client to whom this coat was tailored.” He orders the officer nearby who took the coat from Nikolai. ”We need another warrant to obtain access to the apartment, another approval to obtain Dimitri Rudin’s credit card and phone details.”

“Yes sir,” The junior officer turns to go. “Do you want me to find this guy too?”

Dimitri considers the situation for a minute. “You should try, but don’t keep your hopes up.”

 

⊷         ⊷         ⊷         ⊷         ⊷         ⊷         ⊷

 

Maari follows Viktor like a ghost figure, solemn and silent, through the narrow hallway and in to a surprise opening to an interior garden. Surrounding the garden were bedrooms, all opening their doors to the fresh air and what little sunshine that manage to come through the accumulated snow on the glass roof. Viktor stops in front of the second door to the left. Maari could see him taking a deep breath before he turns the key.

The lock clicks and Viktor keeps the door open for Maari to enter. She tentatively steps in to a room she would describe as gracious in all aspects. It’s a room used by or designed for a woman, Maari is sure. She looks at Viktor questioning.

“It’s mama’s room.”

Maari continues her questioning look on Viktor. _Where is she?_

“She’s no more” he answers the silent question.

Maari’s features immediately softens hearing this. But she doesn’t say anything.

“Everything you want to get changed is in this room.” He says. This drives Maari to look at herself. Her clothes are torn from a few places, there is dust on her hair, probably from the ruined walls on Viktor’s house. Some glass bits had pierced her arm and she had a bruised cheek she didn’t even know was there.

The paramedics sent to the Boris house by the police had treated all of them, advising Viktor strictly against any strenuous activity since he was still recovering from the previous concussion.

“You can use her wardrobe, she is a bit taller than you but I’m sure you’ll find something that fits. I’m sorry, there are no other women in this house.”

Maari nods. She wants to release Viktor so he could get a change himself too, but her curiosity is pinching her.

“Viktor, will you explain all these to me, as soon as you can” she asks.

Viktor looks at her gratefully. “Thank you” he says. “For giving me the time. I know it’s unfair to you and I was going to do it before this happened. But…anyway, I can assure you will be safe here. Come down for tea as soon as you are done. We shall talk then.”

Maari nods and Viktor turns to go, she could not help but notice he was shaky. For anyone who knew Viktor’s solid form, it was unnatural.

“Viktor, are you okay?” she asks, knowing the last time she asked, the question was redirected at her.

But this time, Viktor stops on his tracks and takes his time.

“I cannot shake the feeling that, if I misfired even a single bullet, it could have hit someone in that Van, I could have killed him.”

Maari huffs, “Viktor, they were trying to kill _you_!”

“I know, but it’s not as easy as you say when you are the one holding the gun”. He breathes in heavily before he say the next words, inaudible if Maari wasn’t listening so intently. “When you take a life, you lose a part of your soul.”

“How do you know?” Maari asks because she is afraid it feels like Viktor is talking with his own experience. She had just witnessed that it wasn’t the first time Viktor has handled a gun. So she has a fair guess about where all these might lead. So she closes the gap between them, she wants to shake Viktor and get all the truths out of him.

“Come for tea.” is all Viktor say before he closes the door on her, taking quick steps to the living area.

Somehow, Yuri Plisetski has miraculously escaped the ordeal without as much as a scratch. The simple thought of having him hurt is enough to give Viktor a chill down his spine, though he didn’t have to guess Maari’s role in his safety. He saw how she had him wrapped in her secure embrace when Dino and Viktor got inside the house during the shootout. Even when they were in his SUV, Maari didn’t even let Yuri hold up his head. Viktor realized he had more than one thing to be thankful to Maari.

A smile tugs at him when he see Dino and Yurio sitting cozy in the couch. They have both changed out of their distressed clothing and cleaned up properly. Yurio is wearing clothes slightly baggy that must belong to Dino. A bare hour ago, they were at each other’s throats, ready to take the other one down for no apparent reason and now they must be sharing something really funny because they are both laughing. How a common enemy had brought them together was almost comedic to Viktor.

It is the first time Viktor saw Dino wholeheartedly smile ever since he saw his grownup version. He leans on a pillar and opt to observe them when he should head back to his old room and clean up himself. His head throbs a little and his body would be much happier if he could just lie down somewhere, but the carefree way of the two young men in front of him, oblivious to Viktor’s presence, makes him light hearted and Viktor is addicted. Suddenly out of nowhere, he wish Yuuri was here too, and the throbbing in his head increases by fold. But before his thoughts spiral in to something uncontrollable, his fathers’ car comes to a screeching halt in the garden. Papa Boris runs in like a bear and gives the unsuspecting Viktor a crushing hug.

“I came as soon as Dino called me” He says as he is releasing a pent up breath that riffles Viktor’s hair and Viktor finds himself in the middle of an asphyxiating hug. His father’s arms doesn’t let him go even after Viktor find the breath and murmur. “Papa I’m okay”. So he leans in and hugs back his father longingly.

“I thought I lost you again” He repeats and Viktor revels in it, absorbing like a vacuum, the love right out of his father’s fast beating chest and filling the painful emptiness he endured for ten long years.

                                                                                                      

⊷         ⊷         ⊷         ⊷         ⊷         ⊷

 

Viktor is in the middle of describing the picture wall to Mari. The empty white wall in the dining room was revamped by his mother by turning it in to a wall full of pictures that held the most memorable moments of their family. Even when Viktor was in France, the pictures that did not give away where they lived, was sent to Saint Petersburg to be fixed on the wall. His Father attended to every picture sent by Isabella like it was a sacred duty.

“How come none of your pictures are here?” Maari asks and his father quickly excuses and disappear, leaving Viktor to come up with an answer. They had just finished tea and Maari and his father was getting to know each other, so he hasn’t had a chance yet, to explain her things.

“Right, another thing you _will_ explain later, right?” Maari answers herself when she realize Viktor’s struggle.

“Papa removed them when he disowned Viktor” comes the unexpected and blunt explanation from behind, Dino and Yurio joining them after tea.

‘Awkward’ would be an underestimation to describe the situation. Both Yurio and Maari wears the same gawking expressions but Maari, who is used to the surprises that came along with lack of knowledge on Viktor’s history, quickly schools her features, and shoots another question to deviate attention.

“Who is that?” she asks pointing to a picture of a young man in ski gear. Viktor himself looks closely at it, it’s a relatively new picture and the heavy winter clothing is hiding most of his face. When Viktor realizes who he is, he doesn’t hold his surprise.

“Is that Dimitri?”

Dino gives a smile that Viktor cannot read. “Yeah, he sent that picture sometime after he left home to tell us he is doing okay.” Viktor feel Dino’s smile is rather sad when he speak. “Papa was worried sick looking for him, but after he sent this picture he realized he had to _let Dimitri go too_ ”

“What do you mean” Viktor questions. His voice is harsh but weak and he turns fully to face Dino.

“When you left…” he says reaching the wall, coming to remember that Viktor doesn’t know about what happened with Dimitri.

“You mean when I was disowned?” Viktor corrects, managing to keep his features firm.

“Whatever” Dino shrugs in his signature don’t care manner. “Dimitri was pissed off at papa that he let you go, so he too left”

Viktor stares at him blankly, trying to understand what he is truly feeling about that. But from the way his jaws tighten, how quickly his eyes moisten, his features express nothing ambiguous to the people around him.

“He was a grown up man doing a job anyways, if you ask my opinion.” Dino provides as if to ease Viktor’s strained features. His hands seems to struggle to stay inside his pockets, maybe Viktor needs a hug. “We looked for him everywhere. But Dimitri contacted Papa soon enough, said not to look for him and that he is moving on fine by himself.”

“You never heard of him afterwards?” Viktor questions with a small hope for his childhood friend? Family? Brother, but only legally? He doesn’t even know what exactly to call Dimitri. But Dino shake his head to say ‘no’.

True, they are family, but in real life, they never tried to share the bond that was written on paper. As Viktor could recall, Dimitri was a brilliant student, winning student awards and hiding in the college library or tech lab. He had absolutely no time for Viktor or the little brat Dino had become after mama passed away. Although Viktor was the starting point for Dimitri to become their family, their long distant relationship never allowed the brotherhood on legal papers to materialize in real life.

In the ensuing silence, the need to shake Viktor like an apple tree until all the apples its hiding falls down on to the open, overwhelms Maari again. She is a creature too curious to listen to the conversation between the brothers without knowing who Dimitri is and why Viktor’s father disowned him. But she restrains, mainly because she understands how personal these things are to Viktor and she honestly doesn’t think she has a right to push him to reveal them although the Brothers discuss them openly, like Maari and Yurio are invisible.

But she also does not want to look cheaply tempted to dig in to Viktor’s dirt in front of her brother’s most-probably- would-be-father in low, who  approaches them in a mood that amplify the situation. His face is a darker shade than Maari could remember and there is very visible perspiration on his face, Maari feels like she wants to dig a hole and hide at the palpability of another impending disaster she feels in the air around them.

“I’m guessing your phone is broken” he says gesturing at Viktor, his own phone is being squeezed between his palm and fingers.

“Probably, for the second time in three days” Viktor says. “I don’t even know where it is, must have fallen out of my pocket somewhere during the drama.”

“I guessed, because Nikolai phoned me”

Viktor takes a very cautious step towards his father and Maari realizes the need to be swallowed by ground is mutual. Maari was feeling a bit dizzy, hoping to god this isn’t news on her brother while Dino took a step and stood next to her guarded, ready to catch her.

“Um, don’t worry” Viktor’s father says when he see the ready-to-faint audience in front of him. “It seems like Vlad got his hands on Dimitri too.”

“What?” Dino says running his hand over his face, they stop at his throat, cupping it, which right now feels too dry to talk. Then he straightens. “Dimitri? Our Dimitri?”

“He’s not sure, didn’t go in to details. He just wanted to give us heads up. He is going to check Dimitri’s place right now”

Viktor stands still. Very still. The only movement is his hands curling in the hem of his shirt.

“Don’t worry” His father says but Viktor looks distance, his eyes are trained on the hem of his shirt that’s been curled, uncurled and curled again by his nervous fingers. Then his hands slide in to his pockets, like he’d finalized a resolve.

 “I’ll handle it from here.” The elder Boris promises his son.

“No!” Dino’s protest come louder than he intended. He brings his body from the leaning position on the wall, ready to leap if he had to stop his father physically.  “Don’t start it again, you promised mama. Let the police do their job.”

“What exactly did he say?” Viktor’s question stops his father from answering Dino who silently decides that his brother’s voice is too calm to his demeanor.

“Valentino; Vlad’s man who took your friend…”

“Yes.”

“Nikolai searched his place and found Dimitri’s coat.”

A thoughtful hum escapes Viktor.

“I think I let this get too far. I’ll deal with Vlad. If Isabella was here, she’ll agree. I let that bastard ruin the lives of my sons. I’m gonna stop this for good!”

“No, papa.” Viktor grabs his father’s shoulder and stops him from leaving. “I started this” he says solidly. “I’m gonna finish this, and that’s final.”

“I.” Viktor’s father says peering in to Viktor’s face. His teeth clenched as he speak. “I alone started this long before you were even born, it’s my job to finish this. I’ve been hiding in the shadows for far too long for the sake of peace and that bastard must think I’m scared because I’ve got things to loose. If I don’t do anything to protect my family, my promise to your mom would mean nothing.”

“Stop it you two” Dino stands between the too close father and son, but their talk is disturbed by the two police officers coming their way to escort Yurio to Yaakov’s house.

Maari takes the chance to think for herself in the ensuing break. She knows at the rate things are going, the answers to the questions she has are no way near. It’s been a constant roller coaster since morning and she is finding it harder to take the argument developing between the father and sons. It’s an even harder thing to stomach when she realize Yuuri is a victim of all of these things that she doesn’t even know the beginning or the end, a vicious tale in which she is stuck in the  middle. She feels a disgust growing in the pit of her stomach and decides to leave before she express it verbally.

Viktor see the tears welled up in Maari’s eyes and his throat feels constraint with guilt. But he cannot expend any more time to explain things to her because he has decided to do something by himself and that needs taking immediate actions. Both Viktor and Dino walk Yurio to the door.

“Hey, send me a text, will you?” Yurio tells Dino when departing and Viktor looks amused. “He’s gonna teach me how that thing works” He elaborates as the answer to Viktor’s amusement, his eyes are aimed at Dino’s belt where the gun is holstered. Viktor’s amusement turns in to fury faster than a quad rotation.

“I’m afraid that shouldn’t happen” Viktor says biting back his fury. Yuri’s been through enough today because of him and he doesn’t want to snap at him. But Yuri being Yuri, doesn’t want to heed him.

“What’s wrong with that, you have a gun, he has a gun, and the men who followed us had guns AND shot at us?” He reasons. Viktor could see where this talk is going. He can only feel the guilt rising up and drowning him in it. Yurio should not have had to experience what happened today, he definitely shouldn’t carry the repercussions around him.

“Yurio, you may be the best skater in the world but you are still a kid.” Viktor explains it or tries to explain how he sees it. “This gun may seem badass to you right now, but once you get it in to your hands, you become a different person.”

“I’m not a kid” Yuri protests snarling at Viktor and being already at the edge the whole day, something snaps in Viktor. “Of course you are, why else do you think I put up with you on a daily basis?”

Yuri looks like he swallowed a puff fish, trying to kill Viktor with his eyes.

Dino drags Yuri near the police car to defuse the situation.

“Look, he is in a situation that you and I can’t even grasp how stressful is.” He tells Yurio and Yurio begins to swell down a bit with it, trying to understand Viktor’s situation. “Forgive him will you? But about guns, he is right, Viktor knows that from his own experience. He might share that with you one day, but until that day, know that he is dead right about guns.”

Yuri’s eyes are looking down. He remembers how close Yuuri and Viktor was. And there’s a lot that Yuri doesn’t know about that may have started all these. Being an orphan he could relate to, but being disowned by your very living father! Yuri doesn’t know how to process that. Yuri is now starting to understand why Viktor clutched on to Yuuri so quickly; because to Viktor, Yuuri felt like family. Yuri himself has a hard time restraining his tears when he think about what might have happened to Katsuki, he can’t even imagine how deep the pain must run for Viktor.

“Yeah, I get it.” He says finally. “Tell him to be careful for me, Okay?”

“Okay” Dino agrees, sweeping him in to a brotherly hug.

“Tell him, I don’t mind at all, anything that happened today, I know he is feeling guilty.” Yuri manages through the single tear that he allows to finally, finally fall. “And that I _am_ the best skater, not _maybe_ the best.”

“Of course.” Dino smiles at the defiance of the little fireball that was Yurio. He watch until the police car that take Yuri disappears. He feel the presence of his brother from behind.

“He doesn’t mind anything and doesn’t want you to get killed too.” Dino tells him the short version.

“I know”

Leave it to his brother to read mindsl! Dino turns to him and see both his father and Viktor.

“Neither of you should go in to this. Viktor, you’ve never been in to this business to begin with. And Papa, you’ve been out of this for far too long. Your methods are …kind of out dated…” Dino starts as soon as the police men aren’t around.

The father, looks at the younger Boris with incredulity. “Don’t say that, I can do just fine.”

“Okay, then let’s put it like this, Viktor got in to this trouble because he was trying to save me, it’s my job to spare both of you.” Dino says dismissing them.

“That’s not what…” Viktor jumps in but Dino cut in.

“Stop trying to protect me Viktor, let me finish” Dino says more guilt creeping in. “I’ve studied Vlad, his patterns, his men. I’m current with this. I’m a grown up now, you don’t have to protect me anymore.” He breathes hard finishing. “I’ve been waiting for this.”

Both Viktor’s father and Viktor glare at Dino in unison.

_“When did you do that?”_

_“What? You going to be the future mafia boss now?”_

But Dino dismisses both of them. “I was just being cautious, we all knew the thing with Vlad never really concluded, besides” Dino gulps a guilty breath. “I may have found where Dimitri lives too in the process.”

“You sneaky…” their father starts angrily, swallowing some of the words he originally intended to throw at his son. “Where is he?”

“He lives in Vlad’s area.”

Viktor’s father looks like he is burning from inside. “No wonder we didn’t find him then, that’s the only place on earth we didn’t look for him.”

His father starts pacing the living room from one corner to the other, like on hyper drive. Dino could feel what is going in his head. Regret, anger or more closely fury for both Vlad and Dino for not revealing Dimitri’s location. But Dino has his reasons and he stands ready to defend himself. On the other hand, Viktor is a total blank. He is standing and his right hand is massaging his forehead through the silver locks. Dino thinks of the two men; his father and brother, he could see through his father, he is plotting a plan that include confronting Vlad straight up and all that  mafia fiasco. But he couldn’t read Viktor.

“You two, don’t move. Wait for me” His father says after a minute or two and leaves the room, probably to take the next step of his plan. ‘Resource gathering’ Dino presumes.

That’s when Viktor speak up.  “Take me there.”

“What? “

“Take me to Dimitri’s house.”

“Viktor that’s crazy even for your standards. We never step on Vlad’s territory.” Dino scowls.

“Dino, we were both there at the beginning” Viktor says taking his brother’s hand. “And you are right, you are now a grown man. Forgive me for not being there as you grew up. But I’m here now. So let’s finish this.”

Dino huffs a quick breath to steady his heart and realizes this is the moment. “Where do we start?”

He brother squeezes his hand too gleeful for a pair going to take down a mafia boss. “We start by finding Dimitri, where ever he is, there should be Yuuri, because it’s Valentino who connect both of them. Best place to start is to find out what Nikolai knows, but we don’t”

 

⊷         ⊷         ⊷         ⊷         ⊷         ⊷         ⊷

 

To sneak out, Dino and Viktor jump out the same bathroom window Viktor used to elope ten years ago. The Police guards still think they are inside the house and god knows what his father is up to. What Viktor knows in his heart is that he cannot leave everything on other’s hands and wait because too much is attached to his past.

“It still fits” Viktor chuckles about the window as they jump over the parapet wall to get in to the road and hail a cab. 

Dino gives instructions to the driver, sans their final destination. Viktor is on the lookout for any followers; the police guards, Vlad’s men or his own father. When the final instruction is given to turn to Vlad’s area, the driver looks back at them with a doubtful expression.

“Yeah, don’t draw any attention, da?” Dino warns the driver who seem to be considering dropping them right there. But Dino take out his wallet and start counting the bills for the taxi fare and the rest of the journey happens smoothly. 

When they arrive at Dimitri’s apartment, Nikolai’s team is already at work. The road to his apartment is blocked and the police lights blinks in reds, whites and blues. Viktor and Dino gets out of the car a few meters ahead and pay the driver, ready to argue with the road blocking cops. But to their surprise the police officers allow them passage without a question, they even show him the way.

Viktor finds out why when he see Nikolai standing at the apartment’s door. Hands folded offensively. Clearly, he had been waiting for them. “Your father called.”

Viktor rolls his eyes in response. Maybe they haven’t been discreet enough. Maybe their father isn’t as old fashioned as Dino insinuates.

“Neighbors hasn’t seen Dimitri in two days.”  Nikolai describes as they enter the apartment, which looks like there’s been a hurricane inside. “And his office say that he has taken a vacation after wrapping up a very important project two days ago. We are trying to track his phone which so far has been unsuccessful.”

They stop in front of a wall covered with pictures.

“I’m not supposed to share all these information with you, you know that right?” Nikolai says folding his arms in defense. “I swear Viktor, one day you are going to make me lose my job.”

“We are friends, do you remember that?” Viktor asks innocently while Dino is observing the picture wall. “Apart from the betrayal that you’ve used our friendship for favors from my father, behind my back no less, you’ve taken more than enough time to find my Yuuri, and he is still missing. So if you lose your job, consider its payback.”

“It’s a replica of what we have at home” Dino exclaims. “Plus many more photos.”

Viktor and Nikolai stop their banter and turns to Dino who seem mystified by the wall of photos.

“When we arrived here, the place was turned upside down. Vlad’s been here for sure. Maybe he took Dimitri from here and in the process, this wall full of photos showed him who Viktor Nikiforov really used to be.” Nikolai describes to the duo who are taking their time with the picture wall. All of the photos of Viktor taken out in their house by Papa were displayed in full glory here.

“So, this is what tipped him off to attack me at my house”

“I don’t exactly know, but I suppose yes. There are so many variables here that we have no idea of, that’s just my best guess.”

“But how did Vlad get to know about Dimitri?”

“I don’t know for sure.” Nikolai lets a heavy breath pass before he answered that question. “But I did dug up some things we didn’t know about him before. Dimitri had served a short prison sentence for assault. He did not plead guilty because he claimed he didn’t remember what happened until he woke up in the remand. His doctor confirmed treatment for insomnia, depression, sleepwalking and many other psychological issues. So his sentence was cut short on the basis that he wasn’t on his right mind when he committed the assault, under strict regulations to continue his psychiatric treatment. Maybe he met Vlad’s men during his two weeks in the prison. He also filed a complaint saying that he faced sexual assault during those two weeks but he withdrew the case before it was investigated.”

Viktor and Dino was staring at Nikolai like they’ve seen a ghost. Viktor looks ready to hit something, his hands curl in to a fist.

“Also, I’m not supposed to say any of those things to you.” Nikolai adds. “I swear, I didn’t know he was in prison, if I knew I could have helped him.”

“It’s not your fault Niko,” Viktor says taking a seat in the nearest chair. He bounces his legs like an old man suffering restless legs. What he doesn’t say is ‘ _It’s my fault because he left home because of me_.’

Dino is focusing on another area. “How did he get that sick? I knew of no such issues while he was with us.”

“I’ve read his statements, all of them, all the case reports, his doctors report, everything out there trying to find answers to this tangled mess. And I have a few good guesses as well as some new information.”

Nikolai takes the seat next to Viktor who look like he’d rather not hear them to save his sanity. But Nikolai starts anyway, it’s important for him to lay all the information out in front of the two people who knew Dimitri at a personal level, hoping they can shed some light in to this.

“One, Dimitri had been seeing a therapist since the beginning of his college days, so if you knew nothing about it, it means he hid it from you.  Two, the suspect who made the sexual assault on Dimitri is one of Vlad’s men. But there were rival gang members ready to speak up on Dimitri’s side, so he was going to win the case if he took it up, he had no reason to withdraw it. There must have been some form of a ‘transaction’ between the two of them, for that to happen”

“Maybe Dimitri was threatened” Dino suggests.

“I don’t think so, why? Because the few camera footage I found, suggest that Dimitri often got out of that man’s car in front the abandoned hospital, where Valentino lived. Which is also the same place I found Dimitri’s coat. He is also the one who came to your house with Valentino.”

“The one who got shot?” Viktor asks, Dino reacts. “What the hell, they became partners in crime or something?”

“I don’t know.”

“You say ‘I don’t know’ too many times.” Dino accuses Nikolai but is met with a self-sabotaging look from Nikolai than an offensive one.

“That worries me too” Nikolai honestly agrees and scrunches his face in defeat. “The man’s got some very expensive fashion taste too.”

“Okay, you are right. It is a tangled mess” Dino says concluding, not at all happy about it.

With every bit of information Nikolai let, Viktor seemed to be disappearing more and more in to invisibility, like he was getting small in size, shrinking.

“All I’ve got is a bunch of facts that has Vlad, Dimitri, Valentino and the dead guy but with no factual links to connects them. It’s like I have the whole picture staring right at my sorry face but still I can’t see it.” Niko laments his detective dilemma. “I hate this, and the sorest fact is, Katsuki is somewhere in that picture too, I just can’t see him when he is right in front of me”

“Maybe they were all working together” Viktor says thoughtfully, his face is hidden behind his gloved hands and only the sound comes out. “I mean, Dimitri was pissed off with papa, he also knew very well that Vlad and papa are old enemies, his medical history suggest that he may not have been in his right mind too. So, maybe he was consumed by anger, worked with Vlad, whom he got to know at the prison to take revenge from papa. Or maybe he was protecting himself by working for Vlad because he no longer had papa’s protection.”

“Are you effin crazy?” Dino says pulling Viktor’s hands to see his face and make sure he wasn’t going insane and Viktor’s head falls down losing its resting place. “That’s the most ridiculous   theory I’ve ever heard of. How could you insinuate something like that? You know Dimitri!”

“Do I?” Viktor asks. “When we came back from France, Dimitri never tried to be friends with us. He was a different person. We barely spoke to each other although we lived under one roof.”

“Yes, but, he is family” Dino protests.

“I know it’s hard for you to accept, but it’s a possibility we’ve been entertaining. I just didn’t know how to say it to you.” Nikolai provides meekly.

“But I have a man inside, working for Vlad!” Dino says unable to make how he could have missed all these. His own face darkens recognizing the pitfall. “But he doesn’t know anything about Dimitri, he couldn’t have recognized even if he saw.”

Nikolai’s Junior comes between them looking aexcited. “You need to see this” he says handing Nikolai a few papers. Then he looks around clearly not wanting an audience.

“They are fine.” Nikolai says and opens the documents. It’s Dimitri’s credit card transactions list. Two lines are highlighted for him by the junior officer. One is for the purchase of a pack of ammunition for a 9mm glock 17 pistol. But the next line absolutely stops his breathing. “He’d purchased antibiotics and acute pain killers, two days ago. “

“Yes, right after he applied for leave from his office for a vacation.” The junior office exhales finally having the space to talk about what was bothering him. “He was in good health when he purchased those, so they should be for someone else. Plus I viewed the pharmacy‘s security camera, he looks a little edgy, but totally healthy. And this is the lab report on his phone. Last known location, Savchuk farm.”

“Dimitri’s birth place.” Dino and Viktor echoes in unison.

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I tried, but this chapter refused to come out the way I intended.


	15. I forgive you

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you very much for the comments and Kudos, I wish you knew how much inspiration they bring!

Yuuri’s been up for some time now. The blizzard outside shows no sign of receding. Fortunately the fire keeps going and its light shines on his ring. Yuuri feels his pains disappear for a moment as he wonder what Viktor would be doing now. Yuuri deeply wishes for him to be okay, but deep inside he knows that Viktor must be devastated. Why did a blizzard had to come between them?

Yuuri kisses the ring in place of Viktor, because right now he really want to kiss _him_. His chest feels puffed up with so many feelings and he wants to deflate because it’s hurting. ‘Unrequited love’ Yuuri thought, ‘could be a bitch’.

‘Unrequited love.’ The two words picks at Yuuri’s brain.

Because, Yuuri wasn’t the only one hurt. He thought of the man lying next to him. How long has he been suffering? How much has he suffered? How severe should his pain be that the suppressed emotions turned him in to a psychopath? What kind of trauma did he face as a child and an adult that he started living in different heads to alleviate the suffering?

Dimitri did mention that he couldn’t call his parents actually ‘parents’. Yuuri thought about that, and all he could imagine was the kind and accepting faces of his small family. His mother rarely sets her foot outside Hasetsu, always drowned in work at the onsen, but Yuuri has travelled to countries the number he couldn’t count with both hands. Yuuri settles another resolve for him. Once this is over, he is going to take his mother and father a trip around the world, Maari too. Just them, and Viktor.

Yuuri thinks about Yurio too, who had no one to call parent. Did he ever get to tell them that he loved them, like really meaning it before they passed away? Or was he too small then, to fully realize the gravity of love, the power lying within the words ’I love you’. And when he finally did understand what it meant, his mother and father weren’t around to hear him? Was it that lost moment that created his signature stone cold exterior? How much does Yurio’s heart ache? How far or close is he from being egotistical just so no one come close to see the holes in his life, Or is he just being the normal - hormonal teenager?

Yuuri had the most loving family on earth. And on top of that he had Viktor. He is surrounded by people who deeply care for him, why did it ever matter to him what people said on social media? Why did it matter to him what fans or haters said as long as he did his best? A small smile tugs at his lips. A lot of things are clearing up in his mind. Taking a step back and observing his own life, Yuuri realizes how lucky he is and how trivial some of the things are that plagued his mind destroying his confidence.

Although he wouldn’t have done it without his family or Viktor, with anxiety feeding his mind with false demons, Yuuri had to fight for every inch he gained. Every medal he won he earned after a fight with his own mind. For a lot of athletes, the struggle was with their physical abilities, for Yuuri it was with his mind.

If he set aside the demons in his mind, what would his potential be?

The growing realization brings Yuuri a new perception, like the light that reflected on his ring now resided inside him. Permanently.

But what about the man next to him? He didn’t have parents who loved him. He was wronged at the orphanage, the very place that was supposed to care for him. He was beaten at the streets. When finally he was adopted because someone really cared for him, he came to an empty house. He had trouble with his strong emotions but nobody taught him how to tame them, even his therapist misdiagnosed him. Only thing he succeeded was his job and now he will lose that too.

Yuuri wonders how wronged this person was by the people around him. Yet he decided to save Yuuri when he could have easily walked away. In the hindsight, he did almost killed Yuuri, he did almost abused him, but Yuuri understood each of his personalities were reflections of the tragedies happened to him.

 

He was giving back the world what was handed to him.

 

He was saving himself by becoming the worst of what happened to him, so nobody will beat him to it, nobody will abuse him again.

 

His personalities were his defenses.

 

Dimitri stirs up breaking Yuuri’s train of thought and he instinctively backs away from him.

Wiping his face and blinking, Dimitri looks around and the first thing he see is the sight of Yuuri, backing away from him.

“It’s me, don’t worry.” he murmurs under his breath.

Yuuri wants to hide his relaxation, hearing how despised Dimitri sounded of himself.

A few minutes passes between them while Dimitri, yawns, stretches to fully wake up. The sounds from the outside blizzard and the wood burning in the fire are the only other sounds that attest to the existence of the world outside.

“I know you are in pain.” Dimitri starts talking to Yuuri. “But waiting to be jailed sucks too.”

For a minute, Yuuri suspects if Dimitri is reconsidering his decision. He feels the fear starting to build up in his chest. If Dimitri is going to get rid of him or just leave to die, either way Yuuri will have to come up with a survival strategy.

“How is the fever?” he asks next.

“Not good” Yuuri answers with a wavering voice. He gets chills every now and then despite the fire place. “I don’t think the antibiotics are working.”

“You are shaking.”

“Every now and then I get chills, yes.”

A heavy glance exchanges between them.

“I think the infection is spreading, that’s why I get the chills.” Yuuri says nonchalantly. He feels Dimitri’s eyes searching him. Yuuri is sitting with his back leaning on the wall for support. He is hugging his knees and resting his head on them. Yuuri had experimented with a few poses since he got up and so far this had been the most comfortable way to stay up right.

The knees hugged to him provide him with additional warmth and stability to his frailer body. The sweater was now stuck to his body with the caked blood from his sliced open skin, knife pokes and his major wound in the shoulder. If he moved, the fabric of the sweater slides against the wounds bringing strikes of pain. The less he move, the less it hurt. But that was the lesser pain, because the moment even the slightest change occurred in his posture, his whole body protested in unison. Moving a limb has become a very scary, very real nightmare that Yuuri dare not do.

Yuuri could feel Dimitri’s gaze set at him like he is somehow sizing him up for a meal. Feeling exposed Yuuri looks away from him.

“How are you so calm?” Dimitri questions turning to fully face Yuuri and sitting flat on the floor.

Yuuri isn’t sure if he heard that right because the usual word that accompanies his name would be ‘anxious’ or ‘stressed’ at best. So he seeks confirmation. “Say that again?”

“Calm” Dimitri repeats. “How are you so calm?”

This gets Yuuri in to silent reflection on himself. He is standing with one foot to death and steadily losing his balance. So how is he calm? Because he is calm. The thought almost scares him. He does not feel the constant tapping of anxiety and panic under his ribcage any more.

Is it because he trusts that Dimitri will get him to safety?

‘Hell, no!’  Yuuri tells himself. He is more than aware that Dimitri could turn in to a ruthless killer and a lustful abuser at any given time. Given the spectacular nature of the multiple personalities he is gifted with, Yuuri doesn’t think that even Dimitri should trust himself now. But he _understands_ Dimitri, and more importantly himself better. He feels clearer, calmer and able of accept what would come next without regret. It’s not something he could put in to words.

When Yuuri doesn’t answer him, Dimitri gets up. Yuuri gets the feeling that their conversation is over, but he remembers where his thoughts were and he doesn’t want to withhold how he feel when he can’t be sure if he’d be alive the next minute to say it.

“Wait” Yuuri calls him and Dimitri turns his head at Yuuri like a cat listening intently to catch mice, unsure where Yuuri is leading.

“I don’t know how far the infection has spread but I know it is in its worst state now. My body won’t be able to hold it for long. I can feel it. So, I want to thank you for making the hard decision to save me instead of yourself. That was incredibly brave of you. Thank you for the medication and food too.”

Dimitri sits back on his knees in front of him unable to trust his ears with what he is hearing. Sitting on the back of his legs, his eye go wide and his hands clasp his mouth. Yuuri himself tears up because who comes next to his mind are the people he love.

“If I don’t make it…” Yuuri gulps hard when he realize what he just said. “If I don’t make it, please tell him I love him. My parents and sister, tell them I’m sorry for not being able to give back as much as I intended to. They already know I love them, but Viktor…I never told him.”

Dimitri stares at him, still wide eyed and completely surprised. For a moment, Yuuri wonders if he looks like Dimitri is the one getting a chill because his hands are shaking. But Yuuri himself is feeling the nausea returning to him. Last time he had the chills, it extended to a full few minutes of shaking like a fish out of sea. So Yuuri wants to finish what he intends to and be quick about it, for he doesn’t know how far the infection has claimed his body. There’s a good chance that he will not come back to himself after the chills.

“I’ve been meaning to tell you.” Yuuri takes a good breath despite his hurting ribs, knowing what he is going to say next, he feels good; like a floating petal, weightless and free, something heavy and burdening is leaving him.

“I understand you were subject to …many things that no child or no man deserve.”

Yuuri continues as he notices a small glint in Dimitri’s eyes.

“I just wanted to say that whatever happened to me, it wasn’t you. If you have any guilt in you, _know that I forgive you._ ”

Dimitri breaks down in front of Yuuri and Yuuri is taken aback. He did not expect this reaction from him. He thought Dimitri will take him for a ridicule, someone who couldn’t hate the man who tried to kill him. But Dimitri is breaking down in front of him and it reminds him that he was right to say what he said. This man needed to hear it.

“How could you? How could you forgive me?”

“I’m no saint Dimitri.” Yuuri says referring to how he felt at the beginning. “I hated you, but then I realized that you too were a victim. You never received the help you actually needed.”

Dimitri seems to be deep in thought. “What about the others in me, do you hate them? Aren’t they also parts of me?”

Yuuri was stunned by this question. A troubling inquiry As much as Yuuri loathed who Dimitri was when he _wasn’t_ Dimitri, still they were parts of him. How could anyone hate or love parts of himself?

The complexity and the ambiguity was enough to drive someone crazy about the situation. Yuuri couldn’t imagine how Dimitri navigated this situation and still stayed himself. But if Yuuri has learnt anything from the quiet reflections on his own life during the past few days, it was that outside perception is only as big as how much you feed it. If you starve it, it shrinks, and then there is a whole new area free for _you_ to grow. “Don’t you think it’s more important how you feel about them? I’m just an outsider, but they are all you, like there are many faces to a single finely cut gem.”

Dimitri seems like he is considering Yuuri’s question. He visibly relaxes yet looks puzzled like a four year old who has too many questions for his mama.

“How do I hate them or love them when I haven’t even met them?”

Yuuri realizes that too is true. Yuuri should be the only one on earth who had met all of Dimitri’s personalities, though he doesn’t know how many more exists. He knows there are people who had been identified to have over 15 personalities. And there are peoples who work harmoniously with their other personalities to the point they know what the personality in the front is doing. But clearly, Dimitri didn’t even know he had other personalities in him until Yuuri pointed out it to him, he clearly didn’t know them at all, met them or experienced from the back seat, what they did in his body when they steered.

“I’m sorry, but I don’t know enough Psychology to give you a hard and fast answer.”

Yuuri says bringing his own experience with mental struggles to memory. “But I could tell you this. When you accept the weaknesses in you, that those things are also a part that make you whole, then you can stop fighting it, and figure out what you can do to make it work _for you_ instead of _against_ you.

“How do you know for sure?”

“Because that’s what I did. Anxiety was something I couldn’t get rid of no matter how pointless my worries were. But then Viktor came and suddenly I could not afford to fail at all because my mistakes would reflect on him. He is the living legend Viktor Nikiforov, I could not allow that to happen. So I used that anxiety fuelled fear of failure to work for me by giving it all I had. It fueled me to work the hardest I have ever worked for a competition.”  

“I understand what you are saying, but I don’t know how it could help my issue, this isn’t anxiety Yuuri”

Apparently they were on first name basis now. Yuuri almost laughs at how things have changed. He actually did manage to turn the tables on his captor as he initially planned, just not to the direction he initially intended to.

“I wish I could help you, like Viktor helped me when I was depressed. I wouldn’t have made it this far if it wasn’t for him. ”

“If we both make it out of this alive, will you help me?” Dimitri asks as a sad grin appears in his face, fully expecting rejection, but Yuuri didn’t even think twice to answer.

“Of course, I…” Yuuri’s breathe hitches. If it is because his lungs too often refuse to breath or because he was so emotionally overwhelmed, he didn’t know. “I know I don’t have a right to tell you this because only you know what you are going through. But I hope that even if I don’t survive this. You should. And if I’m not around to help you, I hope you will take the chance to fight for yourself than running from your…” Yuuri stops for a second to think the right word. “From your own selves.” He manages.  

Dimitri ponders in silence, as if Yuuri’s words soothed him to silence, like a lullaby to a crying baby.

“I’m gonna go out and grab the shovel from the garage, I have to free the car, the storm is starting to recede.” He says with a new purpose.

Yuuri looks out and see the change in the environment. He also feels the change inside him, the change inside Dimitri. It’s like the nature is responding to them. Although he feels a little lighthearted after talking to Dimitri, he couldn’t ignore the new development in his physical status. His head feels dizzier than it was, and he is short of breath. While the blizzard outside started to calm down, Yuuri feels his inside is starting a whole new storm.

Dimitri watch as Yuuri’s already pale face grow pallid, beads of perspiration breaks out in his face. A wince of pain escapes Yuuri’s lips and Dimitri suddenly realize that for all the time he remembers, though with huge gaps in his memory, he never heard Yuuri wince or complain. As he observe the infected wounds on Yuuri’s body, caked blood sticking the sweater to his skin, made by his own hands, guided by a soul he has never met, makes him crawl out of his skin. He had been avoiding looking at the fragile body that was Yuuri Katsuki. But even with the chill that he seem to be having now, he did not utter a sound; he merely grinds his teeth. What kind of a son of a devil is he?                            

He helplessly watch as Yuuri’s chill grow strong. His eyes doesn’t have the usual brown color to them, his eyes looks different, and they are dilated. His hands that were hugging him are tightening on his knees in a death grip. He seems like he’s out of this world, oblivious to the fact that Dimitri is standing right in front of him. That’s when Dimitri realize. Yuuri is experiencing shock. A reminder that the infection is now full on board, it is rapidly killing him.             

Dimitri hurries to Yuuri and kneels beside him. But for the love of god, he did not know what to do. Yuuri is shaking, his teeth are clattering and sweat is dripping down from his scalp. Yuuri had said he was having the occasional chills, but this was at a whole new level, this wasn’t just chills, this was shock.   

Dimitri removed his coat and covered Yuuri with it. Keeping warm was all he knew about shock first aid. He knew another thing as well, that quick treatment is utmost important. He leans back a little and watch the man in front of him.

‘What have I done, what have I done’ is all he could think of. Everything else escapes him.

He keeps gazing at Yuuri. As the shaking go on, all he wants to do is run out the door and never look back. But he had tried to do it once, and he only returns to the same shelter because of the blizzard. But now the blizzard is gone, he might be able to make it to the main road and get a taxi from there, although it would take considerable time on foot and the deep and fresh snow. Or he could just turn to where his head turns and run, run until he couldn’t anymore and start afresh where he stops.

The thought is so tempting. The fact that Yuuri won’t survive if he leave him here, doesn’t even cross his mind. He looks down at Yuuri. There’s not much he could do anyway, Yuuri doesn’t seem to be in good shape. If he’s going to die anyway, why not save himself?

Dimitri stands up and without giving another look at Yuuri, turns and leave to go. But from the very first step, he cannot ignore the small voice in the back of his mind telling him that he is running again, because he doesn’t have the strength to deal with the emotional torture that will ensue if he did the right thing. He puts one step in front of the other, only a few more steps and he’d be out of this house, out of the latest misery he put himself in. His steps quicken against the small voice in his head.

But against the steps he is taking, Yuuri’s voice he hear.

_‘I hope you will take the chance to fight for yourself.’_

He could almost feel how fervent Yuuri had sounded. It was so profound that his steps faltered.

_‘Stop running from your own selves.’_

Dimitri stops to a halt with his hand still lingering on the door knob.

_‘Even if I don’t survive this,’_

Dimitri feels a shiver run up his spine. He wasn’t the only one who considered the possibility of Yuuri dying. Yuuri himself did. Yet he made sure Dimitri; who is the cause of his death, is forgiven.  How much strength must he have to do something like that?

Yuuri had barely collected his last healthy breath to plead Dimitri to fight for himself and stop running. How pathetic would it be to turn his back on the very person who was willing to help, to turn his back on a dying man’s wishes? The first person to ever listen to his side of the story, even after all he put Yuuri through?

After everything Yuuri has done for him just with his words. Even when he knows he might end up dead, he promised to help the man who almost killed him. And when he did, those eyes had looked at him not with rage but with sincerity. There wasn’t a hint of malice in him. How rare? No wonder why Viktor had fallen head over heels for this shy but equally valiant man.

He lets a sigh leave him and turns to where the garage was instead of running away. He has a vague feeling that he will be able to find a shovel or some kind of a tool to dig the snow away to free the car. The garage looks like it hadn’t been touched in ages, a forgotten place. Looking up Dimitri notice the ice accumulated on the roof. Given the condition of the house and the garage, the roof won’t hold for much longer if someone didn’t get up there and clean it. But there would be no need for it if he could get the car to start. If that doesn’t work, walking all the way to the main road will be the only solution, but will Yuuri be able to hold on to his life that long?

Dimitri stops in front of the garage. He pushed open the worn out wooden doors which gives in to the force that pulls it with an unpleasant creak.  Did he not know this place? Not quite this place _now_ , but did he not know it in his dark and twisted past?

Dimitri feels confused, beyond confused. Fear crowds his thoughts and feelings, starting from his head, stomping down to his heart as it start beating mercilessly against his ribcage. 

What about this place? He has woken up many times in this damned house, and every time he did, he had leapt out the door to find what he remembered to be his home. No – house, the cold apartment with the state of the art heating system installed, but devoid of anything that would lure him to call it ‘home’. No, he has never had a home.

He had never tried to peek in to search what this place is, had never stepped in to its rooms, had never looked through its drawers, nor did he ever thought it was necessary to check the garage. He barely spent a minute before he found Yuuri’s bloody and knife carved body bound to a chair, alive but lifeless.

He now regrets not doing it, because somehow he feels the place is cursed with his dark past. Cursed with the moments he couldn’t remember but are nevertheless scattered throughout random places in his mind like poppy seeds on a cake.

Dimitri takes a few tentative steps in. He is facing a wall full of hanging tools, and to the right side are some crates and boxes full of …stuff. But the grand prize stands right in the middle of it. His hand aimlessly caresses it, so cold to the touch and layers upon layers of dust. It’s an old pick-up truck with faded orange color paint and one wheel missing. His roaming hand stops at the back door.

He takes back his hand like the door handle burnt him.

The room starts spinning, it’s spinning around him. And he remembers, being pushed inside the same pick up, he remembers the heavy weight that settled on him. Dimitri covers his ears to save himself from the noise and the threats he is beginning to remember. Those senses are from a distance, from a time long long ago, yet they are inside of him too. The room is now slanting, nauseating him.

Dimitri tries to shut himself from the memories, he needed to. His stress level is rising rapidly, and he is struck with one of his searing headaches. The garage spins more around him like a devil’s dance and he feels that it brings out the devil within him.

The memories to which he only had a peep before, now attacks him like an avalanche. He closed his eyes and takes a deep breath. When he opened them, he knows what it is.

He turns back and takes off like his head is on fire, before the devils within him fully claims him.

The snow crushes under his feet and he feels the nausea in him only increases. The headache pushes hard against his skull. He bends down and vomits everything he had in his stomach. The gore smell draws back more memories. As a child, he had vomited on the snow the same way. Like his child self, he runs again to avoid the smell, tripping and falling on the snow. He had vomited just like that when he was a kid, immediately after his father…

Dimitri finds himself in front of the door and slams his whole body on it to open. He couldn’t trust his shaking hands to do the job. And he falls on the floor panting. He is on his knees, he curls on himself on the floor, while his lungs work extra hard to compensate for the oxygen he lost.

He is lost to the world trying to regain himself before he switch. He now knows the coming feeling. The spinning and the searing headache just before he is no more, and an entirely new being is born, like a phoenix. Like a phoenix cursed to burn to ashes and be reborn again and again, forever, to forever suffer the burns and scars. This is the first time he experienced it knowingly, every other time before, it had been labelled amnesia or something else.

He was going to switch.  His mind still yearns for the blissful next moment that he refused to allow. The oblivious existence that allows him to not face the horrid memories of the boy who was robbed of his innocence even before he attended school. And they call it ‘Switch’. What a funny word? He felt like he was going to die and they call it …’switch’. And instead of his therapist, he has the man he was trying to kill to thank for bringing him the awareness.

The irony runs out of him as he fights to stay himself. He couldn’t fathom what would happen if he loses this battle, of what would become of Yuuri. Just when the need get so intense, he feels the soft weight of a hand on his shoulder. And he instinctively concentrate all of his senses on that soft lingering touch. It pats him on the shoulder rhythmically and proceeds to rub circles on his back. The touch is barely there, like the holder of that hand doesn’t want to risk hurting him. The touch is reassuring nevertheless, and it continues its presence to Dimitri’s equal parts surprise and needing.

He slowly opens his eyes when he feel like the fog is leaving his brain. Nausea doesn’t completely leave him, but he knows for sure he is the heavier presence in his existence. He looks up as he no longer feel the need to fight his own damn mind, and his eyes meet the brown eyes peering in to him inquisitively. They are half closed, struggling to keep open, but Yuuri gives him the slightest smile.

“I’m sorry” Dimitri mutters under his breath.

“For what?”

A contemptuous expression easily slips Dimitri. “You are right, I don’t think I can line up all the things I should be sorry, starting from you-”

“That’s not what I meant.”

Dimitri only sighs. ”Don’t be kind to me Yuuri, please.” Dimitri pleads as he feel the sincere expression Yuuri is giving him. When he hear that, Yuuri drags himself on the floor and away from him.

“What happened?” he asks.

Dimitri props himself to a sitting position and looks at Yuuri, searching his eyes. All he see is sincere curiosity. So far, No one knows his full length story more than Yuuri does. Dimitri decides that it won’t hurt to share the rest.

“You were in shock, and I wanted to run. But I decided I should respect your wish and got in to the garage to find a shovel, so I could free the car. I was inside the garage and…I know what this place is.” He says leaning his against the wall. “So far, all I knew about my self was that my father abused me when I was a very small child. My mother didn’t exist in my life. That was what I got to know from my handler at the first orphanage, only because he thought it won’t hurt to ruin an innocent kid because he was ruined by his own father before. When I couldn’t take it anymore was when I ran from there and lived in the streets before Viktor found me.”

Yuuri feels his throat constrict, like he was having asthma. He knew of such stories, he wasn’t dead to the poisoned world around him. But hearing it from a real victim is a whole different story. He feel as if Dimitri’s distress is contagious. The words sound so raw coming from Dimitri. His face so nonchalant like he had run the same thoughts again and again in his mind that it held no weight to them anymore.

“I did have snippets of memories, but they were not clear. They were not chronological, just here and there. I just…I couldn’t arrange them to have a full picture. I didn’t even remember my dad’s face because I was a little boy when that happened.”

Dimitri sighs heavily letting go of the heavy weight that was always there in him. Like the straps of iron around his heart that denied him the normal feelings that human beings usually had snapped in to pieces.

“But I went to the garage to get the shovel and it all came back to me, everything I had forgotten.”

Yuuri observes as Dimitri’s temples bobbing and his jaws tighten. His eyes are closed like he is replaying his memories. That’s when his previous statement actually rings in Yuuri’s strained head.

“Do you mean, you know this place?” Yuuri asks surprised. Why else would the garage bring him memories?

“I think I spent my first few years here. I remember his face now. I remember what he did to me inside that old pick-up truck.”

Yuuri tightens his knees to his chest automatically, feeling vulnerable.  He takes a deep breath ignoring the protests from multiple wounds to dull the sudden contraction he feels in his chest. Pushing his back to the wall to alleviate the sinking feeling, he is wondering how Dimitri is doing now, voicing his concern aloud.

“Now I have to ask, how are you so calm?”

Dimitri grins sadly in response. “It just answers a lot of questions I had my whole life.” He explains. “All my life, I rolled the words of that matron in my mind not knowing if all those clips of memories were put in my childish mind by him, wondering if they were true. But now I know. He was right. I was a second hand goodie to him-“

“Don’t say that” Yuuri shouts although his shout doesn’t sound higher than a squeak, but it stops Dimitri’s self-sabotaging declaration nevertheless.

“Don’t say that, you may have been abused but it doesn’t make you a…goodie. You were a child.” Yuuri says. “For god sake, you were a child.” He repeats unable to handle it himself.

They both welcome the tears.

“Maybe I should just die, and nobody else will get hurt.” Dimitri suddenly says wiping his tears. He suddenly looks determined entirely for reasons other than what Yuuri wants him to be. Yuuri stares at him shocked, a chill runs up his spine.

“Tell them you did it for defense.” He snaps standing up. Then he quickly goes to the room that has a wall full of pictures and pulls out the knife that was stabbed to Yuuri’s poster. He walks back to Yuuri, pulls out Yuuri’s protesting hand and places it on his palm.

“Do it” He says sitting in front of him and thrusting his neck at Yuuri. Yuuri straighten up dumbfounded, his poor brain far behind trying to catch up with what was happening.

“Just kill me, save me from this misery. Say you did it in defense.”

Then it clicks his brain and Yuuri throws the knife away like it was a burning iron. “No! Are you crazy?”

Dimitri laughs. He laughs so hard and Yuuri wants to take back his words. How near death should he be to ask if Dimitri is crazy? Yuuri feel like he took many steps back from the progress he had made with him.

“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean it like that, but this idea is…” Yuuri wrecks his brain for a synonym that hurts less but it doesn’t provide him anything other than crazy or insane. “Your life is valuable than the value you place for it. Fight for it” He bellows instead.

“There is no cure for this, you know that.”

“We don’t know that for sure.” Yuuri protests. .

“Exactly!”

Yuuri doesn’t want to die. But if he can’t stop it, then he doesn’t want to die just for nothing. “Promise me you’ll seek help no matter how this ends. And help people who are trapped like you. Get this stupid idea out of your head!”

But Yuuri’s words seem to fall on deaf ears. He search himself to say something that will enable Dimitri to dig himself out of the hole he is sliding down.  But he is tired and his brain is shutting down.

“I thought that matron was lying, I tricked myself to not believe him. How could my own father…” He stops mid-sentence like he realized something entirely new. His eyes shine pleased with himself. “Maybe I should just do it myself, spare your innocent soul the nightmares.” Dimitri says picking up the knife.

Yuuri allows himself to be properly panicked this time. All his words are proving to be of no use. Dimitri seem to have hit a nerve and even without his glasses Yuuri could see that his eyes doesn’t focus properly. Yuuri regrets throwing the knife. He should have just kept it in his hands. But it felt so outrageous to hold a knife against a confessing man at that time, though not much now.

He watch in trepidation as Dimitri bring the knife up at his own neck. He’s going to slice his own neck!’ Yuuri’s awareness allows him to forget all his pains for once and he jumps at Dimitri as the knife begins its downward journey toward the task. They both roll on the ground and the knife scattered to the ground. Yuuri cries in pain as his injured shoulder make contact with the floor. It starts at the shoulder and spread throughout his whole body with a rippling effect. All his other wounds are no match to the pain his shoulder could create.

Through his watery eyes and the crippling pain, he see Dimitri stand up instantly and dash toward the knife. Yuuri summons all his strength to his good foot and kicks him in the shin. Dimitri loses his balance and falls with a grunt.

He falls on to Yuuri.

As the large man falls on him, the contact touches all the right places on Yuuri’s smaller, frailer body. The shoulder, the pierced skin, the swollen ankle, fractured ribs, bruised wrists….Yuuri gives out the loudest cry in his whole life.

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yes, the moment we all waited is right around the corner, actually, in the next chapter!!!  
> Hope to upload it as soon as you can. Thank you again for sticking up with this story this far.


	16. The end is only the beginning

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, although I wanted Viktor and Yuuri to see each other in this chapter, the word count went up too much. So I had to break the chapter in two. Next chapter will be uploaded very soon.

A long running court case prevents the owners of the Savchuk farm from entering it, until the inheritance issues are resolved. So the process to obtain a warrant to search the premises is detrimentally time consuming. There was no way Nikolai could’ve waited that long till the judge signed the warrant while Viktor tried and almost succeeded wearing a hole in his office from walking its length back and forth. At the slightest chance that Yuuri could be somewhere inside the said estate, Nikolai too couldn’t care less about protocol. When it comes to dealing with the Bratva, _‘job security be damned’_ has always been his personal policy. So when Nikolai gathers up the most trusted officers under him and decides to search Savchuk farm without a proper warrant, Viktor gets in the back seat of the police jeep and couldn’t be moved.

The journey to the farm had been a too fast for anything related to road safety. But Nikolai could safely say the speed was the only thing that prevented Viktor from jumping out the window looking for his own mode of transport that matched his fast beating heart. The farm is situated in the outskirts of Saint Petersburg, a dull and deserted valley which had roads swallowed by tall grown weed. The snow had turned the narrow roads to a barely usable state, reducing their speed to a worrying low.

When they finally reaches it, partially thanks to a childhood memory Viktor held when papa Boris took the whole family to see Dimitri’s birth place, the farm looks to be an abandoned piece of land that had nothing in common with what could be called a ‘farm’ in its literal sense. A massive gate secures the land that houses the farm. Its rusty steel peeks from underneath the snow. But the lock is new, and it seems that it has been opened and closed many times, very recently. To Nikolai’s detective eyes, there is no doubt that someone has been using the premises at the absence of the owners. In no time the gate padlock falls to the ground under the pressure of the steel cutter between a police officer’s hands.

The heavy wings of the gate open up just enough for the line of police cars to ride inside. As a testament to how long it had been abandoned, displaced and tall grown trees, look like haphazardly deposited Snow Mountains that block their way. A small house to the far left corner of the land, stands weakly against the snow on its roof. It’s small, time-worn and old; a sharp contrast to the manor that rise majestically in the middle of the estate. Yet, the small house which could have only served as a servant’s residence captures the detective’s eye. An expensive car is parked in front of the small house. It’s almost covered with snow, but its brand stands out to show the word its status; no doubt could only be owned by someone who wore designer coats, like the ones Dimitri Rudin wore.

The police vehicles stop far before they reach the small house. As they get out of their vehicle, quick but quiet, they hear it; a loud cry that pierce through the sound of the wind, so much in pain and agony, they wonder if it was an animal.

 

_⊷_ _⊷_ _⊷_ _⊷_ _⊷_ _⊷_

Yuuri feels he’s somewhere on the line that separates consciousness from unconsciousness. He could feel Dimitri getting up again from his cushioned fall, and when he lifts his head he see the blotted image of Dimitri standing up on his knees and clutching his shin in pain.

Unable to do anything else as both the knife and Dimitri are now away from his reach, Yuri leaves the rest to fate. Forcing his eyes to stay open while his head threatens him to faint right then, he observe from the corner of his eyes how Dimitri starts to crawl on his knees, towards the knife.

“Dimitri, don’t do it!” Yuuri appeals as loud as he could, slowly pushing himself up to a sitting position with his good hand. Neglecting the pain that is all over his body has become second nature to him now. He sits and hunch as pain encroaches him. As Dimitri stop his crawling and looks back at him, Yuuri only see the two evil eyes that mocks him. They look at him with so much rage they shine like that of a wild animal, hungry and greedy. His twisted smile and thinned eyes, snickers at Yuuri with an evil grin that starts an adrenalin rush in Yuuri, which quickly put things in perspective for him.

It’s not Dimitri!

Yuuri comes to realization the moment their eyes meet. And he is not crawling to get the knife so he could end himself, rather it is Yuuri’s turn to kiss the cold knife.

Yuuri Katsuki knows a losing battle when see one. It was the same feeling he got when he was first taken from Viktor’s house with a knife pushed to his neck. So he knows now, that he can’t fight for Dimitri anymore, because Dimitri has given up fighting for himself.

But Yuuri Katsuki is a lot of things; his impressive stamina and core strength wins him medals. He is also not one to give up without a fight no matter how hard his own brain drags him down. So when the only thing he can fight for right now is his own life, he is determined to not go down easily.

Sitting on his hunched position, Yuuri looks to his right to see his only escape; the door. Lightning fast, he consider the distance to the door. If Yuuri could summon the strength, which he think he can with the adrenalin rush he got, he could cross that distance in just two or three steps even if he hops in one foot. He doesn’t think what he would do once he is out the door, it doesn’t matter anymore for all Yuri wants to do right now is to fight to his very last breath.

So he summons all his strength and crawls up to his knees. He grit his teeth to prevent the moans of pains that threaten to escape him while he quickly transfer all his weight to the good foot. Cursing his head that dangerously starts to spin as he changes his position, Yuuri stands up in wobbly feet. He could vaguely see the door through his daze, nonetheless he makes a dash to the door. He hop once, then begrudgingly use the toes of his bad leg to push himself forward once more despite the pain. His body weight opens the door. Yuuri transfers his weight to the good foot again hoping to make the next step and is almost out when he see people outside, or was he hallucinating? Aren’t those police cars he saw?

Yuuri’s heart blooms with prospect, but  doesn’t get to make another hop nor does he get a chance to clear his doubts because unfortunately, the ghost of Dimitri is healthier and thus faster than him.

He kicks Yuuri’s already stumbling form from behind, causing Yuuri to fall flat on the cracked wooden floor. Yuuri is temporally blinded by the pain when he makes contact with the hard wood floor. Waves of pain cripples all his limbs. He tries to grab the door, he throws his hands out to grab something, anything, but his hands doesn’t heed him, it’s like the connection between his limbs and brain is broken by the unbearable pain.

Yuuri feel two hands grab his ankles and drag him backward. Back in to the dungeon where his fate probably will be decided. Then the hands give up his legs, but proceed to haul him up by his collar to a sitting position, with the respect reserved for a lifeless doll. But Yuuri isn’t alone, behind him, Dimitri sits down too. He leans on the wall, straddles Yuuri between his legs, and transfer the Yuuri’s frail cold body’s weight on to his warm chest.

As the fog in Yuuri’s head is cleared, Yuuri painfully realizes that he is back at square one. His hands are tightly grabbed by the captor’s other hand. Very tightly, behind him. His shoulder sends ripples of pains. Dimitri holds one hand against Yuuri’s neck, with which he carries the knife. He tightens his hold around Yuuri’s neck, pressing it hard, to the point of asphyxiation and sits behind him like he owns him. Yuuri’s silent struggle for breaths, feeds him with evil energy to turn the situation in his favor.

“Dimitri” Yuuri mutters to him, struggling for breath under his maniac grip of his neck and the searing pain from his shoulder. The pain or his need for oxygen, which is worse he doesn’t know. “We talked about this.” He reminds through the gags for breath.

The answer comes with no delay.

“I’m not Dimitri.”

 

_⊷_ _⊷_ _⊷_ _⊷_ _⊷_ _⊷_

 

 

Nikolai and his junior officer steps toward the house, only to take a cautious step back as someone shoots out the door. But the runner falls down face flat on the ground with a thud. A muffled scream escapes him as he throw his hands out to grab the door frame. But in a perplexing scene, he is dragged inside in an instant by a strong pair of hands before Nikolai take a single step forward to help him.

“Stop right there!” Nikolai shouts running towards the house with his gun poised forward. Before he is too far to reach it in time, the door shuts loudly like a slap across their cheek. The whole thing doesn’t get more than a few seconds to unfold, but leaves Viktor; who was observing the incident in a turmoil like never before.

“Holy mother” Viktor hears Dino’s voice from behind him as he witness the horrifying scene in front of him and it confirms his suspicions.

“That’s Dimitri!”

If Viktor could pull his heart out of his rib cage, it would still beat with the rage he is feeling right now. “And Yuuri…”

“Step in and I will kill him.” A loud voice shouts from inside the house. 

“You are surrounded, let go of him.” Nikolai informs authoritatively, standing on the porch. He wants to lure Dimitri to let Yuuri go by assuring him his life will be spared. But he doesn’t get to talk much as he hear the answer comes from inside.

“Step in and I will kill him! I’m gonna kill him!  You hear me? I’m gonna kill him?” The voice from inside threatens, too convincing to Nikolai’s liking.

Viktor watch in silent trepidation the horror unraveling in front of him as Nikolai gives up further negotiations. _‘Was it Yuuri?-really?’_ His mind replays the same doubt like a broken record, cancelling out all the other sounds around him. Because whoever it was, he looked so small and dark and there was so much blood on him. He couldn’t even grab the door even when he tried! There was nothing about that person that Viktor could see in common with the strong man he knew to be Yuuri.

 

_It couldn’t have been Yuuri!_

 

Viktor, trapped in his own echo chamber, hear the quiet sounds of the police officers getting ready to handle a hostage situation. The safety locks are released, the bullet proof vests are strapped in, and the snipers proceeds to hide in the shadow like ghosts, only the crushed snow path to their hiding spots betraying them.

They had come prepared for this. Nikolai is giving orders left and right in quiet, hushed tones. Everything around Viktor happens in a rush that doesn’t acknowledge his doomed existence. Viktor comes out of the daze when someone grabs his wrist and stops him. He blinks to see that he had been inadvertently stepping towards the small house. And it’s Nikolai who has stopped him.

“What the hell are you doing? He snaps quietly to Viktor’s ear.

“I have to get Yuuri” Viktor says resolutely, like it’s the most obvious thing in the world.

Nikolai carefully inspects Viktor. His eyes don’t exactly focus the way Nicolai would like them to do. Viktor seems like he’s in a tunnel, Yuuri is at the other end and he see nothing but him. Nikolai understands that Viktor too must have seen how Yuuri threw himself out the door only to be dragged inside like a feeling less wooden log. He tries to pull back Viktor but his friend stands his ground like his feet just rooted on the porch.

“We are almost at the end Viktor, please, I can’t let your emotions ruin this.” Nikolai pleads under his breath.

“But I have to get him back!” Viktor repeats. Nikolai realizes there is no point explaining to Viktor, he is in somewhere Nikolai cannot reach. So he drags Viktor with force and push him down to the ground behind the cover of a police car. He deposits Viktor’s hand on to Dino’s, who equally seem astonished and shocked.

“Make sure he doesn’t move!” Nikolai says stationing them both behind the cover of a police car.

Nikolai takes two steps but turns back to the brothers.

“He is your responsibility!” He snaps back at Dino who looks like a deer. A police man shoves two safety jackets at them and Dino first get Viktor to dress up.

They are leaning on the car’s tires, sitting on their knees. Dino turns and sits in front of his brother and looks straight at Viktor who seems to be lost in his thoughts.

“Hey” he calls him and Viktor’s attention focuses on him.

“Remember when we were in a similar situation before, you saved me!”

Viktor envelops Dino in to a sudden hug and Dino too tightens his embrace around his brother like he would never want to let go. Even though the situation calls for caution, the brothers melt in to each other. Who could blame them? It took ten whole ears for them to mellow enough to come to this point. Their closeness and the equally vibrant beats of their hearts, finally seems to slow down Viktor’s ‘rushed’ world.

“I do.” Viktor admits. How could he ever forget the moment that completely changed his life?

Dino sighs knowing Viktor has come back out of whatever mental abyss he was lost in. Viktor’s voice is shaky, it’s completely not the witty and steady tone his brother is known for. It’s so different, Dino feels it break through the walls he built specifically for his brother. The vulnerability in the voice pulls him down to even ground with Viktor.

“I love you brother.” Dino chose the moment to reveal something he was reluctant to accept despite the internal urge, ever since Viktor spoke to him on the phone.

Viktor inhales deeply, still hugging his brother. “Say it again” he says without exhaling.

“I love you Vitya.”

Viktor exhales the breath he was holding, realizing he has heard it right the first time. But never mind, he wants to hear that again, desperate to fill his need to ground himself. “Say it again.”

“I love you and I’m sorry I was angry. All you deserve is my gratitude.” Dino says. His voice now sounds like someone his age instead of the person he was trying too hard to become. “And screw you! I’m not repeating it!” He swears parting their hug.

Viktor smiles, that sounds more like his brother.

“Okay, I’m glad we settled it, so let’s get ready to meet Yuuri.” Viktor says holding his brother’s face between his hands and grinning. “I want to see his reaction when I introduce you to him. I’ve never spit a word to him about any of you. There is a very high chance that he will hit me with a skate but you know I’d take it with glee if it comes from _my Yuuri_.”

Dino is hanging on Viktor’s hands that are cupping his face, tucking the strands of hair behind his ears, annoyed that they cover his view of Viktor’s face. Seeing Viktor’s watered eyes, regret wash over the excitement of the moment. He feels how his brother’s hands are shaking. He understands his brother’s love for this ‘Yuuri’ he has never met or seen in real life. He repeats in his head how cruel it must have sounded when he so disrespectfully spoke of his ‘secret crush’ being ‘probably dead’. Because he could feel in his brother’s shaking hands that Yuuri runs deep in his veins. It isn’t a secret crush, and now it is baring itself out for the world to see, through Viktor’s tears.

Viktor stands up from his sitting position instantly like he was late for something important, and brushes off the snow off his coat. But Dino is quick enough to drag him back down.

“Are you crazy? Didn’t you hear Niko?”

Nikolai sends a glare at Dino when he see Viktor stands up. “What the hell?’ he mouths at him and Dino shrugs in response. But something in the far takes Nikolai’s eyes. Vehicles rarely take this suburban route, yet a line of vehicles with a dangerous speed heads their way. The owners of the property? Nikolai doesn’t even have a warrant to show them. A slur of curses escapes his mouth as he make his way back from the porch to stop them, he can’t allow anyone to ruing the situation at hand. But Dino, who followed Nikolai’s eyes doesn’t take much long to identify whose vehicles they were.

“It’s them!" he shouts.

One second ago Nikolai was thinking they finally ended this, but he doesn’t even get to finish his thought, for in the next second, the vehicles bash in through the gates, breaking them open with the incredible speed that doesn’t wait for the gates to open.

Nikolai hear the shots firing, see the sparks of lights that escape when shots are fired from the approaching vehicles. He instinctively ducks to the floor. But he did not give the orders to shoot, did he?

Then he realize with terror, the shots definitely do not sound like the standard police issue guns.  Nikolai’s trained ear never fails. He starts shouting his order to shoot, to engage in the fight even before he see who their opponent is. They are definitely not the owners, but Nikolai now has no doubt who they are, he knows who Dino was shouting about. The kid is dead right about it. With seethe he covers behind his police jeep and starts firing at the gunmen. As the machine guns rain bullets making polka dot patterns on the blockade of police vehicles, Nikolai sorely remembers that his men did not bring in the big guns. They were only prepared to tackle a hostage situation, not a full blown fire exchange with Vlad’s men.

Nikolai hear as his junior request for backup and medical help. But it would take forever for the nearest police station to reach them. Nikolai runs his head coming up with possible strategies to turn the event to their favor, because if strategy cannot help, then only a miracle could save them.

 

_⊷_ _⊷_ _⊷_ _⊷_ _⊷_ _⊷_


	17. Maybe, it only just started.

Viktor watches the exchange of gunfire between the police and Vlad’s men like a scene right out of a movie, too shocked to drag his gun out. He came to save Yuuri, but he didn’t even get a chance to see him. Beside him, Dino fires his gun like it’s an everyday thing. His gold Grach pistol, which Yuri swooned about, shines in the little light available, polished and taken care of dearly like a lady, firing bullets one after the other. His eyes sparks with ire, but seems pleasantly excited at the same time. It’s a combination of expressions too matured for his age, Viktor could see how his brother has changed from the young man he saw just a few moments ago to a man behind a gun who had grown out of his age. Viktor hovers his own hand over his gun, but doesn’t pull it out of the holster. For reasons sprouted in the past, Viktor has a hard time agreeing with bullets, even when it comes to saving his own life. But here he is, only a few hours ago he had shot exactly two bullets to topple a van, simultaneously fearing for the lives of those who were inside. But now he is cursed to use the cold metal beast holstered in his belt again, frustratingly on living human beings, rather than target practice he very much enjoyed.

 Viktor doesn’t want to engage in a war. He came here to get Yuuri back. But that task seem to have forgotten while the police officers scramble to save their own lives. Viktor realizes that if he wait until this is over, it could be too late for Yuuri. Silently, he rolls under the jeep, to emerge on the other side where the house stood. No one is bothered with him, preoccupied with the fire exchange and fear for their own lives.

 Viktor takes a look back at Dino and guiltily, abandons him in his firing post, hoping he would be fine, and reach the door of the old house on all his fours. He bends his tall frame and ducks his head, then rests his weight on his knees to sit in front of the closed door while wishfully dodging the bullets that seem to find their way this far. Viktor can’t see what is going on inside the house, but he is well aware that if he isn’t careful, he maybe ruining their only chance.

Viktor feels positive, for even under the pressure of the bullets flying freely in the air, his head is clarified owing to a few facts. One, he knows there is a pretty good chance the police will lose the fight, they weren’t prepared for this, Vlad clearly is. For how long the war will go on, Viktor can’t even make an assumption. Two, what will Yuuri’s chances be during that period? Viktor doesn’t even want to think about if Dimitri actually meant it when he threatened to kill Yuuri. But the conversation he had with Dino earlier that day rings in his mind.

_‘_ _my man doesn’t think it will take too long for Vlad to find out Valentino. Vlad’s got his men everywhere just like papa, unless the police settles this by finding this ‘Valentino’ guy before Vlad does...”_

_“If not?”_

_“Do you really think Yuuri could survive a gunfight between Vlad and Valentino? If Valentino finds out Vlad is after him, then Yuuri is no more his insurance, he is only a burden. Yuuri won’t have a chance, that is, of course if Yuuri’s still alive”_

_‘Well, Yuri is still alive! And I have to make sure he stays that way’_ Viktor ponders while a bullet passes close to his right ear with a whoosh and deposits on the door frame. Thanking god for his luck, he decided to do whatever he has to do, quickly.

Viktor slowly opens the door an inch and shouts loudly to overpower the gun sounds.

“It’s just me, Viktor.”

Viktor is hopeful that although Dimitri won’t hesitate to shoot a police man, he would have at least the smallest bit of decency to spare a minute to speak before he decides on what to do with Viktor.

When no protest comes, Viktor, for a brief moment, is engulfed in panic. _‘Could they be already hurt?’_

He takes a chance and gives the door a heavy push, to his equal delight and horror, the weak door opens all the way. Viktor realizes his mistake when another bullets passes him, flies in to the house and hit the opposite wall inside. Viktor quickly moves inside the house and closes the door without waiting for permission. He walks inside to what looks like the living room. In the mild light available, the sight of two men greets Viktor. The large man sits with his back to the wall, straddling the smaller man. Viktor halts right where he is, as a grown up version of the ‘Dimitri’ he used to know, held his Yuuri.

_Yuuri…life less, bloody and pale._

 

His head dangles on his neck, clearly unconscious. His body is held upright by the hold Dimitri has around his neck.

“Is he?” Viktor trails off mid syllable, too shocked to complete his thought.

The man, whom Viktor could now clearly identify as Dimitri, even after ten years of not meeting him frowns at him with a warning. “He is alive, for now. But he won’t be if you make a stupid move.”

“I promise, please, whatever you say, I’ll do.” Throwing his arms up in surrender, Viktor promises quickly.

The frown unmistakably deepens. “You care for him that much?”

Viktor looks straight at Dimitri for the first time. He knows its Dimitri, but there is something he cannot identify. The eyes are red, they stare at Viktor sharper than a tip of a knife. His strong hands that hold Yuuri and the knife shakes. Although Viktor and this man had lived under one roof in their history and even shared the same father and mother in legal papers, he doesn’t seem to trust Viktor at all. Still, Viktor decides to try and make a connection.

“Dimitri…” Viktor starts, but his words die in his mouth as Dimitri shouts throwing Viktor aback.

“He robbed you from me, I did it all for you and now you want to save him?”

Viktor keeps his hands up in surrender. Although Viktor knows the need to keep talking so he could stall Dimitri from doing anything harmful, Viktor doesn’t know where to begin, for he doesn’t know what Dimitri is talking about. So again he tries to establish the connection, knowing very well he has to tread this uncharted water very carefully.

“Dimitri…”

“Oh! For the love of god, I’m not Dimitri!”

_‘If it’s not Dimitri, then who is it?’_

The disappointment settles a deep turmoil within Viktor when his attempts to establish a connection fails. His fear is quickly evaporating, replaced with anger with every minute he spent looking at unconscious Yuuri with no way to get him off of Dimitri’s hands and Dimitri talking nonsense he couldn’t understand. He gulps in a vain attempt to settle the fire rising deep within him.

“You have to help me out here. We can settle this like men, right?” Viktor sits down on the floor crossing his legs, a stance to show that he isn’t afraid, to show he isn’t going anywhere, and to show that he is here to stay until they resolve it. He cannot stop his eyes from wondering to Yuuri, but he see that every time he look at Yuuri, Dimitri’s eyes shine more and more like fire. His hands tightens more around Yuuri’s neck. So with much difficulty, he tears his eyes away from Yuuri who seems dead to the world around him.

“Tell me what you want from him.” Viktor says pointing at Yuuri like he is a stranger. “In fact, tell me whatever you want right now, and let me help you get to it.”

Dimitri laughs, and for a moment, his voice could be heard over the gun shots from outside.

“Vitya, you can’t help me, because I’m trying to help you, don’t you understand?” He questions as a matter of fact to the Viktor who is still oblivious at large to what Dimitri’s case is.

“I appreciate it, really. But this situation is less than healthy for both of us, yes?”  Viktor says going along with him. As Dimitri laughs wildly, Yuuri’s frail body moves with him too. Viktor’s heart wrenches in pain as he sees this. He wants to snap Yuuri out of him.

“You understand that there is a war outside, neither of us could forecast the outcome. But I’m sure neither parties are your friends!” Viktor says clearly hiding the anger that threatens him to be irrational. An anger that is steadily rising from deep within him, an anger he hasn’t felt in a very long time that is making him blind to whatever Dimitri lays out in front of him as his reasons.

  
But Viktor’s cloaked calm reminder to Dimitri, of just who is outside; both parties that wouldn’t clap for Dimitri’s cause, makes his eyes go wide with understanding, this encourages Viktor to lay out his plan.

 “You want to help me, right? I want to help you too. Let’s get out of here, Leave this man be.” Viktor says eyeing unconscious Yuuri. “We have to make a run for our lives and he’s only going to be a burden.”

Internally, Viktor can’t believe he said that about Yuuri, he doesn’t even know what he is talking about, what the man meant when he said he did it all for him. But he see the man assessing the situation and Viktor welcomes his first hopes that he might be successful making him ditch Yuuri.

“You are playing me” Dimitri quietly but accusingly states.

“Dimitri…” But Viktor is cut short by Dimitri’s protest.

“I’m not Dimitri!”

“Okay.” Viktor says agreeing, defusing Dimitri’s anger and concluding in his mind that Dimitri has really, really gone bonkers. “I’m sorry, please tell me what I should call you.”

The man observes Viktor with greedy eyes. “I’m Valentino” He announces like he is introducing a stage actor, voice rough with desire. His eyes dances up and down Viktor. If that is not enough to send chills down Viktor’s spine what he next say does, “I’m your biggest fan, and I’m gonna make you the Ice prince you once were.”

Viktor feels like a ball is stuck inside his throat. But for Yuuri’s sake he quickly recovers his Wit. “Biggest fan? I wish we met under better circumstances.”

“We could have if this homme fatale didn’t steal you from me!” another loud accusation falls on Viktor’s ears, an explanation follows. “Boss blessed with me the chance to get in to your house and snatch him away, you know. I wanted to kill him slow, make him pay for every minute he stole you from me. Look how he is suffering now.”

Viktor could feel his restraints to keep calm, flying off the window. He wants to drag out his gun and shoot him right there when Dimitri or Valentino as he calls himself, laugh satisfactorily. Viktor could feel the heat of his anger rising and warming up his body no matter how hard he tries to tame himself. Ironically, seeing the man’s hatred towards Yuuri, Viktor feels the gun he used to refer to as a metal beast, his best friend now. He was blasting the man’s brains in his imagination when he started talking again.

“I jabbed him all over, you see.” Valentino says showing Yuuri to Viktor like a cat whose playing with a half dead rat under its paws.

”We even played the three questions game, do you remember we did it in the children’s home?”

Viktor nods silently. His mind traces a distant memory of a game he used to play every time he visited Dimitri in the orphanage before he was adopted in to his family.

“Dimitri didn’t want to, I saw right through him. But Dimitri is a coward you know, he couldn’t even tell you how much I love you. Obviously, he couldn’t stop me when I wanted to play with the piggy.”

Viktor shuts his eyes, almost blurts out a curse hearing that. He was beginning to understand the surface of the twisted man that called himself his biggest fan, who looked a little vulnerable after the revelation. But the new understanding that Yuuri’s sufferings are caused because of him, because of one of his ‘sick’ fans that is also his family, shakes Viktor to the core. Viktor himself, had been the reason why the man who only came to deliver a last warning on a bet, proceeded to kidnap Yuuri.

Viktor could feel the panic rising. He wants to pull his hair, drop on the floor and shoot himself for putting Yuuri in this place. But his resolve to save Yuuri stands out in his head. He should know better, try harder and postpone his panic so he could get Yuuri off of this maniac’s grip. Whatever he decides to do with himself in payment for Yuuri’s suffering, could take a back seat.

 “Well, you’ve said it now!!” Viktor says somberly. “Love, is not something everyone has the courage to express.” Because he knows the pain of truly loving someone and waiting for that person to see him through. For Viktor, it runs so deep that Yuuri is second nature to him, from his heart beat to every breath, his first and foremost in everything. But still he torturously waits for the moment when Yuuri will come to acknowledge the love that is already there, so plainly in sight they miss to acknowledge it.

What he said wasn’t a statement he directed at Valentino, rather a revelation at himself. He feels his whole body numb with the need to protect Yuuri, kiss all the pain away and reveal the burning love he kept from him, waiting for Yuuri himself to come to terms with his own feelings towards Viktor. But right now, Viktor feels that ‘present’ would have been different if he hadn’t waited until naturally anxious Yuuri to confess ‘love’, if he had just outright expressed  how badly in love he is with Yuuri, like he does with everything else; honest and outspoken.

“Do you know how far I went to hurt the man who kicked you out of his home? Do you know I turned my back on a boss like Vlad, to save you from this bastard who destroyed your skating life? Of course I have courage.” Valentino reads his mind, fuelled by Viktor’s appreciation.

There, in his words, Viktor finally finds his chance.

“You turned your back on Vlad, but he is right outside Valentino, What are _we_ going to do?”

Viktor enjoys the panic that settles on Valentino’s features, when he reminds him of the misfortune that could come at him in the form of Vlad.

“Because, `Yuuri isn’t his problem, but both of us are. The Police don’t have a chance out there, Vlad is heavily armed, believe me I was right outside, I saw them. Are _we_ going to give him the pleasure of taking out both of us at once? Won’t he make you watch as he slowly finish me? Isn’t it his popular method?”

“What are you saying?” _Valentino_ asks Viktor and Viktor feels the reigns slowly transferring to him.

“I’m saying, you’ve got me right here. I’m saying let’s get out of here and save ourselves, I’m saying let’s start over”

Valentino seems to ponder over Viktor’s suggestions. And Viktor isn’t lying, he wants to make a run out of here with Valentino so he could take him out himself, go to jail for murder even, he couldn’t care less. All he want is to get Yuuri out of his grip.

“Are you serious?” Valentino asks, his grip over Yuuri’s neck loosens ever so little.

“I’m all yours.” Viktor says opening his arms to Valentino in a welcome gesture.

“But I have to get my revenge” He says shaking Yuuri’s body.

“You’ll get it when he wake up and realize that Viktor isn’t with him anymore.” How quickly that quip comes out of his mouth, Viktor himself couldn’t believe. It just came out of him in hopes that Valentino would stop shaking Yuuri. He notices how the grip over Yuuri’s neck is now almost released. Viktor strands up, hoping Valentino will follow him.

It’s a crucial moment, but Yuuri choses that exact moment to flutter his long lashes and come to consciousness. It could be the shaking…or the fate. Viktor stops himself from running to him as he lifts his head and starts to cough, breaking all the barriers of Viktor’s hearts. It’s the first time he hear anything from Yuuri after how many days? He couldn’t come up with the number. His brain wasn’t providing. His stare fixed permanently at Yuuri.

“Oh! The sleeping beauty is back, look who I have with me, you piece of shit” He shakes Yuuri more, pulling back a good handful of Yuuri’s hair, forcing him to look up. Yuuri’s swollen eyes struggle to make out the form in front of him. But he would recognize him anywhere, anytime.

“Viktor!”

 

_⊷_ _⊷_ _⊷_ _⊷_ _⊷_ _⊷_

 

Viktor may have been determined to get Yuuri out of Valentino’s grip, but as Yuuri wakes up and those swollen brown eyes looks at him, his legs lose the ability to stand up. He gulps seeing how Yuuri tries to speak his name only to end up in a bloody coughing fit. How could he navigate this situation? How could he even pretend to be on the side of Valentino in front of Yuuri? Of all the pains Yuuri has suffered, Viktor knows it will be the ultimate pain to bare.

 Valentino smiles as Yuuri spits out blood. Viktor stays frozen right where he is while Yuuri starts struggling against the hold violently.

Valentino smiles more, alternating his stare between Yuuri and Viktor. “You are going to be with me, right?” he asks Viktor.

“Of course.” Viktor ensures too quickly. He isn’t a trained undercover agent or something, he is only the most sensitive human being, with a heart as fragile as ice, _specifically_ when it comes to Yuuri. So he cannot stop when his mask crumbles down every passing second as he observes how Yuuri’s struggles against Valentino, seem to lose its strength. Out of exhaustion or out of sheer shock hearing Viktor, he couldn’t tell.

“Forever?”

“Forever.” Viktor assures again. “I understand you Valentino, I’ll follow you.”

Two shocked brown eyes looks at Viktor, this time his eyes looks up voluntarily. And Viktor looks back at him. Their eyes properly meet after four days and Viktor’s world collapses. Yuuri’s usually pink complexion is marked with blood, beaten and swollen, pink and bruised. Yuuri blinks several times to try and keep his eyes open as if his eye lids are too heavy to hold. Then he just looks down at the floor, defeat written all over him. Viktor could feel his heart breaking.  It was the humanly possible limit for him to witness _his Yuuri_ like this. The drama he was playing, the act he is putting up, stops without warning. Tears fall down his cheeks as his body goes sag and he kneels down on the floor again, head crestfallen in defeat.

“You want me? Then take me, just let him go!” Viktor bellows.

“You were lying!” Valentino roars even before he finishes.

He isn’t a fool. He wants Viktor to be his, because Viktor wants _him_ , not because Viktor wants to save Yuuri.

“You are all the same, you lying bastards!!”

_⊷_ _⊷_ _⊷_

 

Yuuri knows the exact moment Dimitri decides to kill him, because leaning his back on Dimitri’s chest Yuuri could feel his fast beating chest skipping a beat, he could feel it taking a deep breath, and the movement of his shoulder when he jerk the hand to slide the knife across Yuuri’s neck.

Yuuri gathers all the strength he could muster up and turns at that exact point in time. He feels the searing pain in his neck over everything else, while a bullet flies past him, through the air. The whole moment lasts only a second. Before the blade fully digs deep in to Yuuri’s neck, Valentino is pushed backward and down in a violent shock. He takes Yuuri along with him, backward and down. _As they both fall backward, Yuuri finds the answer to what has happening._

_Viktor stands shouting something in Russian pointing a gun at them. Yuuri takes a double at him._

_‘Viktor with a gun?’_

_But now that he was lying practically on top of Dimitri, Yuuri’s glass-less blotted view could mostly see the ruined ceiling._

_Because_ Valentino, has a rage within him that never dies, even when he is shot down by Viktor’s metal beast, deservingly on the shoulder, he still doesn’t let go of his grip on Yuuri. As he falls down flat on his back, with the impact of the gun shot, he drags Yuuri too. Still he manages to grab on to Yuuri’s neck with his other hand, in a deathly grip.

In the new status quo, Yuuri should be pushing him away. He should be running for his life. True, Valentino still has his knife pushed against his neck but he is a man shot down, struggling for his life, engrossed in pain.  He is a man not at all strong enough to hold a fight against Yuuri whose hands are now free.

But Yuuri isn’t trying to save himself while his opponent is weak. He brings his painful and wounded hands together to help himself turn, and face Valentino, whose hands seem incapable of anything but barely hold the knife against Yuuri in an empty threat.

Straddling over one of Dimitri’s legs, partially lying on him, Yuuri pushes his good hand to Dimitri’s wound, putting pressure, trying his best to stop the bleeding. His wounded hand, he tucks safely to his chest. Yuuri is putting pressure on Valentino’s wound instead of his own neck which too is bleeding. In his weak almost inaudible voice Yuuri still tries to talk sense to him, who is now more comfortably pressing the knife at Yuuri.

“Don’t do this, we had a deal, we are going to help each other.”

Valentino seems too stunned to even hold his knife against his neck. Maybe because it is Yuuri; the very man he was going to slowly kill, trying to save him. His eyes search Yuuri, for betrayal. He blinks when he finds nothing but genuine concern.

Still, it’s not a moment of clarity. It’s a moment of confusion, pain and fear. So Valentino doesn’t let go of the knife and Yuuri doesn’t let go of Valentino’s bleeding wound either. Their moment breaks when Viktor shouts from behind them.

“Put your knife down!”

In a very palpable threat, Viktor still holds his gun pointed at Valentino. Valentino shakes out of anger and pain.

“Never bring a knife to a gun fight.” Viktor concludes.

 

⊷         ⊷       ⊷

 

The last cartridge of bullets he had finishes as quickly as it is loaded. Nikolai takes full cover behind his jeep, slumping to the ground, and thankful that Vlad's men hasn't bring rocket launchers. A look to his right side, he finds two more of his officers taking cover just like him, run out of the bullets. Able-bodied but useless without their weapons.

“I ran out a long time ago!” He hears a voice to his left and finds Dino sitting on the ground too. Still, bullets come and lodge at the other side of their vehicle with thuds. But Dino looks calmer than a frozen lake. For someone with his bit of experience, Nikolai cannot expect a young man like him, with all his life in front of him, to be fearless at all in this situation while bullets literally flies on the other side of the vehicle they take cover. “Why are you so calm? We are about to get our asses handed to us?” Nikolai asks.

“Papa is nearby.” Dino celebrates with a smirk. “Vlad is gonna be sandwiched between us and them.”

Nikolai immediately stops his mind from wondering how he will explain the involvement of civilians to his higher authorities. He kisses goodbye to his next promotion right there but smiles; he’d rather lose his job than have casualties on his side. On Vlad’s side, he wish papa Boris’s wrath shower them. Maybe he finally got the miracle he was hoping for.

The sound of a gun fired from inside the house stuns both of them.

“Where is Viktor?”

Dino looks around with that question, light draining out of his face. Nikolai doesn’t have to guess twice. Dino looks at him with a look that mirrors Nikolai’s own fears.

 “Shit.” He curses. “I’m going in” Nikolai announces. He gives a signal to his junior indicating that he is going in.

“Now?” he mouths back furious for having the line of command falling to him in the last minutes, when their defenses are failing.

“Do me the favor of passing the message” Nikolai asks Dino because there is not a second to waste, he doesn’t have the time to explain.

He proceeds with caution towards the door.

Nikolai’s jeep is parked a little away from the barricade of police cars where other officers are taking cover while engaging in fire. It’s more close to the side, close to the garage of the house. He duck walks close to the wall while Dino starts a silent conversation with Nikolai’s junior.

The door is already marked with a few bullets. Nikolai huffs in frustration, he doesn’t want to take the risk. What if Viktor isn’t even inside the house? Dreading, Nikolai takes a few steps back to peer through the window.

The window is smudged with snow, Nikolai clears up a corner slowly. Through the unclear glass Nikolai see a scene that makes his hair stand. He gives up his efforts to bend or hide and runs to the door, he runs inside and stop right behind his friend. Viktor doesn’t even move. He is steady on his feet, pointing the gun directly at Dimitri.

“Viktor, put your gun down, let me handle this” Nikolai begs, he has walked from one war to another one.

“Not until Yuuri is free” Viktor declares resolutely.

But Valentino just laughs. With a shaky voice he mocks Viktor. “What are you going to do, Vitya? Kill me? I’m gonna have to take your Yuuri too with me then!”

Another gunshot reverberates through the broken house as the reply. It hits the floor just above Valentino’s head throwing shards of flooring all over. The fuming gun is the one on Viktor’s hands. “I swear, the next one will be lodged in your head, if you don’t let Yuuri go!”

Viktor, leave it to me!” Nikolai quietly whispers to his ear. Honestly, after seeing Yuuri, what he has been put through by Valentino, Nikolai too want to just blow Valentino’s head off. He could understand the rage Viktor has indulge himself in, it would lead him to do anything to save Yuuri, _even kill_.  As a man who face violence on a daily basis, Nikolai knows that when such a rage, once settled in one’s head, is a hard place to get out of.

But it’s not how things get done in the police book. Too many civilians are already involved in steering of this case. Last thing Nikolai want would be for Nikiforov to solve the case by his gun.

But more importantly, he wants to save Viktor from becoming a murderer.

_Again_.

As the sounds from outside intensify, Nikolai realizes that the miracle he was hoping has come. Nikolai has no doubt that papa Boris must have been following Vlad and his men, to be this quick to back up Nikolai and his team in their distress.

Looking back at the situation inside the house, for Nikolai, it’s a moment of indecisiveness. This is a first time for him of this nature. The captor has a very apparent death threat in the form of a knife, still it is a loose grip on the hostage, a false threat because being shot on his shoulder, he does not possess the kind of strength needed to dig a knife against a human neck to kill. But bizarre as it is, the hostage doesn’t want to let his captor go. He is holding on to him, putting pressure on the captor’s wound, saving him. And Nikolai knows why. Because Yuuri knows, the moment he moves his hands away, Dimitri will bleed out, or the snipers will get their shot.

Nikolai wants to save Yuuri and he wants to save Viktor.

But Yuuri wants to save the devil too. That makes all of the above, harder-than-usual- tasks.

“Get the shot when you can.” He quietly instructs the snipers in case one of them is back at their original job. But the shot doesn’t come, either they are fully engaged in the war outside or because Yuuri is blocking.

While the locked up situation prevails, the only thing that isn’t blocked is the free flowing bleeding both Yuuri and Valentino are suffering. Their blood drenches their clothes to converge on the floor. Although from two different people, they bled the same crimson blood. The worn out wooden floor greedily drinks every drop of blood. Valentino and Yuuri stare in to each other as dying men, bleeding, at the edge of consciousness. Valentino gets in to mild shock as Yuuri heave for breath.

The change brings Viktor from his inertia. Valentino does not look like he needs a bullet to die. The gun drops from Viktor’s hand and he sits on his knees, begging. “Yuuri, please come to me.”

Because he knows, if Yuuri tries, he could get himself out of the tangled limbs of incapacitated Valentino. But he isn’t even sure if Yuuri is aware that Viktor is in the room with him. Yuuri seem to operate on autopilot.

Nikolai honestly doesn’t know what to do to break the moment. Knowing the difference between a psychopath and a real criminal, he doesn’t want to risk Yuuri’s life by closing in on them.

He doesn’t have to mull over things for more than three seconds.

For in the next second, Valentino’s hand falls lifelessly to a side and the knife scatters to the ground with a thud. His red rimmed eyes that reminded Nikolai of the devil, closes and his head rolls to a side. Next second, Yuuri falls on to Valentino, equally lifeless. The unstoppable bleeding has gotten to both of them.

Viktor is already at Yuuri. He has taken him on to his lap, cradling him and pushing a hand against his bleeding gash in the neck. Yuuri himself had neglected his wound favoring Dimitri’s shoulder wound over his own. Victor is trying to stop the bleeding when Nikolai see another figure entering the house from the back door. Nikolai’s blood runs cold when he see the face of the person, all though he cannot see the full form he is dragging someone with him.

“Viktor, get inside”

Viktor looks at Nikolai, recognizing the fear in his voice. But he doesn’t ask why nor does he waste a second. He promptly takes Yuuri in to his hands and walks in to a nearby room.

Nikolai has done a great deal of police work that must have pissed off a lot of gang leaders in his area,  more than anyone, he’s done a great deal of work against the worst of them all; Vlad. The man has so much blood in his hands that other gang leaders doesn’t even try to rival him, rather they fall under the impressive power Vlad held over all the living being in his area. Only a few police officers did anything that directly affected him, others cowered in the fear of losing their families or their own lives to the Bratva. But Nikolai had nothing to lose but his own life, and lately, he’s done nothing but piss him off. Confronting him face to face has been a dream come true.

Vlad comes through the kitchen door like a tornado, he is dragging someone by the collar, but Nikolai still cannot see who it is. To have come through the back door, Vlad must have found an alternate route. Nikolai remembers a little too late that he is out of bullets. He see how Viktor goes in to the nearest room and close the door behind him as the last thing he see, before Vlad appears fully in the living room and shoots him in the chest twice, lightning fast. The resulting trauma is a slow feeling uncurling inside his chest. Nikolai knows Vlad’s profile by heart. He never think twice to shoot someone he doesn’t like. As bullets tear through is bullet proof vest and the impact fractures his ribs, Nikolai falls down on his back. Vest manufacturer’s brand name is the last thing that comes to his mind as he fall, out cold.

So much for confronting.

 

⊷         ⊷       ⊷

 

Viktor carries Yuuri in his hands with hurried steps. In contrast to what his muscles remember from their practices for the exhibition piece, Yuuri feels weightless. Viktor is thankful to the little light available because up this close, he doesn’t know how to stomach Yuuri’s feeble appearance. He is used to Yuuri’s strength, the power his body carries, but the body he is lifting in his hands right now is not at all what he knew him to be. Viktor couldn’t help the tears. He uses his foot to close the door behind him and stop for a second to see where he is at. When Viktor see the large wall covered with his own posters, he almost slips Yuuri out of his hands to the ground. But he is aware that he has ‘the biggest fan’ here. So he takes a deep breath to calm the storm churning in his stomach and put Yuuri down near the wall, on the cold ground, promptly covering him with his coat and jacket. Viktor wraps his scarf around Yuuri’s neck tightly, stopping the bleeding. The cold hits him hard the moment he removes his jacket, Viktor shivers not because of the cold itself but with the realization of the amount of cold Yuuri must have withstood for all these time, wearing only a sweater. His eyes stop at the caked blood on the sweater under which Viktor assumes is his shoulder injury is, hoping he hadn’t hurt him while carrying. Yuuri smells, it’s a combination of sweat and blood, and all Viktor could recall is how, in that very fateful day, he was dancing in the snow, right out of the bathroom. Viktor runs his thumb over Yuuri’s cheek, which used to be pink and delicate to the touch, but now it’s pale and colored in red spots of blood, unnaturally brittle on his thumb.

His hands shakes when he hear two gun shots, fired in rapid succession. Looking up at where the door is, he remembers Nikolai is out there alone. He had sent Viktor in to a room for a reason. Looking back at Yuuri, propped on the floor, he makes sure that he is warm to the best he could, as slowly as he could, to stall the impending disaster waiting for him out there in the living room - whatever it is, and as an apology to Yuuri, because he is going to leave him here alone. Although he should expect Nikolai of all people could take care of himself, he cannot make up his mind to stay inside like a coward.

“Viktor!”

A deep rumble of a voice cries out from the living room even before he makes up his mind to leave Yuuri.

“Or should I call Nikiforov? I can smell you from here, come out!”

Viktor doesn’t knows that voice. However, he has a reasonable guess.

He checks his hand gun, he has four more rounds left. It gets secured under his belt, in the back.

Gripping Yuuri once again, he place a kiss on the unnaturally warm forehead quickly, for all he knows, this could be the last time he see Yuuri. While an ocean of regrets flow in to him, Viktor stands up. Feeling the smallest of restrain on his fingers, Viktor sits back down before he is fully up. Yuuri’s hand lingers in his, stopping him.

‘Yuuri” Viktor calls softly. Yuuri doesn’t even bat an eyelid, but his hand curls in to Viktor’s. Viktor shivers with emotions he cannot name. It floods his senses, throws him off balance. But he cannot stay. Before who he thinks is outside comes in here to finish both him and Yuuri, he has to go outside and finish this nonstop revenge game before it escalate any further, before it passes to the next generation, like it passed from their father’s to them.

“Yuuri, I’m sorry.” He murmurs as he places another kiss to Yuuri’s cheek a mere millimeter away from those lips that used to bring him dreams in the nights, and he pulls Yuuri’s hand from him to place it under the jacket and coat that warms Yuuri. Like it’s the green mile, which it literary is, Viktor walks thee few feet to the door, without looking back at Yuuri – he couldn’t.

He turns the door knob slowly and opens the door even slower. Viktor starts his observation from the first sliver of opening he gets through the door. He first see the head of Nikolai lying on the floor. He expects there to be blood but there isn’t, it’s a bit of a relief. As the door opens a few more inches, Viktor gets a proper shock. Dino, sits on his knees. His hands are on the back of his head, surrendering to the barrel of a sawed shotgun, pressed to the back of his head. But to Viktor’s eyes, it looks more like he is half holding his head in pain - half hands behind his head in surrender. Viktor less reluctantly opens the door after that.

They both stare at each other. After years of hiding and running, Viktor is seeing Vlad for the first time in his life. After years of searching, backed by pure anger and the need to avenge, Vlad is looking at Viktor for the first time. 

“You are just like her” Vlad exclaims, it’s an impulsive response that comes from him out of pure shock of being exposed to a son who looks exactly like his mother; woman he knew by the name Isabelle; a woman who changed the course of all their lives. But he quickly schools his features, pointing another gun he carried in his right arm, at Viktor. “Drop your gun and kick it to me.”

Viktor doesn’t hesitate to take his gun out of his belt and drop it on the floor. He is well aware it’s his last defense, unlike Vlad who is known to have a number of pistols and knives hidden under layers of clothing he wore. And as soon as it’s out of his hand, Viktor knows he’d be opening himself to Vlad, to do as he pleases. But it’s Dino and Nikolai at stake, Dimitri as well, although Viktor cannot care less, He is also there, out cold, but breathing.

“Kick it to me!” Demands Vlad, the mouth of the gun presses hard on the back of Dino’s head and he winces. Viktor could see the gash under his long hair, he’d been hit from behind.

So, Viktor does exactly what Vlad says, but with reflexes ready at his disposal. He’s heard about this man enough to predict his next move. He is the man who doesn’t think twice before shooting. Vlad’s guns are modified to kill at first shot, and if he kills an innocent, it bothers him less than losing a strand of hair.

As Viktor kicks the gun, it skids on the floor towards Vlad. When inevitably, Vlad’s eyes follow the gun, Viktor takes a step forward, It’s a step longer than his usual and now he is more close to Vlad.

Vlad stops the gun with his foot, a little out of hands to manage three guns, and snickers at Viktor. “Your brother for my brother, fair trade ha?”  His presses his sawed shot gun, the heaviest of all, harder on Dino’s head, while Dino almost loses his balance and fell forward because of the push.

“Actually, your brother was trying to kill my brother, I was only trying to save mine from yours.” Viktor corrects. “Your problem is with me. I killed him. Leave everyone else out of this.” Viktor tries even though he knows very well that any kind of reasoning is beyond Vlad’s mental capacity.

Vlad doesn’t counter argue Viktor, and Viktor knows this is for one reason only. Vlad’s lips goes for a side grin of satisfaction, his trigger finger moves - it’s time for the kill. Viktor knows if he doesn’t do something, they will all have their brains splattered on the wall in the next half a second. So he doubles over and launches himself forward at Vlad in an instant. As they both topple over, the shot gun misses its aim by a lucky half an inch and his other gun scatters to the floor. The shot that was originally aimed at Dino’s head, shatters the wooden floor and Dino too drops to the ground holding his head to cover.

Vlad is as big as his own father, and Viktor isn’t a wrestler. His strength and stamina could help him only so much up against a practiced wrestler like Vlad, who is also double Viktor’s weight. They roll on the ground until Vlad uses his foot to stop their movement. His hands lock Viktor strangling, he is on top of Viktor, pinning him to the ground. As he is struggling for air, Viktor manages to push his hands through the large bicep of Vlad and his own neck, with the power of sheer will. The move from Viktor loosens Vlad’s grip probably because he doesn’t expect that from Viktor. In that split second break, Viktor lands a kick to Vlad’s groin.  They are both quick to come to their feet. Vlad’s eyes search for the guns he lost, but Viktor who still hasn’t properly regained the oxygen he lost, propels in air at Vlad before he gains the advantage of a gun. They roll on the ground again, pinning each other, landing jabs. It’s a non-ending struggle that swing between Vlad’s strength and practiced moves against Viktor’s hasty moves powered by stamina and pure determination. While pinned under Vlad, trying to get himself some air, Viktor see Dino getting up, crawling towards a gun. Viktor still cannot win over Vlad and his vision starts to get dizzy, but he could clearly see how Dino scrambles for a gun and stand on his knees. Barely holding himself up, he hopelessly sways. For a moment Viktor wonder’s if it was him who is dizzy. But as he once again succeed toppling over Vlad and pin him to the ground, he looks up and see how Dino, blinking to get his vision clear, point the gun at _both_ of them, rather over all over them.

Viktor panics, if Dino fires at them, in his swaying and dizzy state, it could be any one of them who will get shot. “Dino, NO!” he shouts. Vlad gets the advantage to push Viktor back and stand up. Knowing Dino has a gun, he stand up to launch at Dino. But Viktor drags him back by his foot. Vlad drops and hits his head, he stays a second longer sprawled on the floor with the impact.

Dino shouldn’t be shooting, in fact none of them should be shooting. Nikolai is still out cold and Viktor needs to stop Vlad from attacking Dino or Nikolai any further. He has to stop Vlad from sensing Yuuri’s whereabouts as well. To achieve that, he needs to continually engage with Vlad, until a deal breaker occurs. The only weapon Viktor could have right then stands to his left. He stretch his hand in to the fire place, and draws out a burning wood log that fits his hand. Waving it in the air he stands up against Vlad, who also stands up to face Viktor. Vlad’s lips are parted with the fall and like a wild animal he licks his own blood with the tongue and tastes it, teasing at Viktor. But Viktor stares nonchalant, he already knows Vlad is an animal, it’s no news, so psychological warfare won’t work with him. Flipping his silver hair back for a clearer vision, he stands ready to tackle.  “Get out through the front door to the police, or else I’ll burn you to the ground.”

“You are not that kind of a man Rudin boy, you won’t do it” Vlad challenges him, taking a step forward towards Viktor. His target changes from Dino, who is clutching on to his head, back to Viktor. Technically, Viktor knows Vlad is trying to get a rise out of him, prompting him to make a mistake. But, he doesn’t have to try hard, Viktor is already beyond the wildest anger he has ever felt. All he cares about is saving the people he love, who are trapped here. Demise of an animal like Vlad in the process doesn’t bother Viktor now. Not now, not anymore.

“Try me.” Viktor says accepting the challenge. His grip tightens on the burning log, stance erected like a baseball player ready to bat. The warmth light from the burning log lights up his raging features and for a brief second Vlad falters his steps towards Viktor. A faint hint of uncertainty laces his look. Vlad’s hands go up in surrender. But Viktor knows the monster shouldn’t be trusted. He waits, anticipation brimming for something dooms day worthy.

Behind Vlad, Viktor could see the game changer he was waiting for. Nikolai stirs up while Vlad drags a few more steps closing in towards Viktor. Two things happen at once right in front of Viktor’s eyes. Dino throws the gun at Nikolai, just as Vlad draws his hands down to drag another smaller pistol hidden under his belt. _‘Vlad never ran out of ways to defend him.’_  Viktor recalls his father’s words. But Nikolai, still in his sitting position, clutching to his pierced, life – saving, bullet proof vest, aims and fires a single bullet, from Vlad’s modified –to-kill shot gun. The mouth of the gun is pointed a little upward, toward Vlad’s head. It could have hit Viktor if Nikolai missed.

Viktor’s face splatters with blood. He looks down to see, Vlad’s silent body sprawled at his feet. A few seconds spend in total silence, no one moving nor saying anything. No sounds come from outside too.

Viktor calmly turns back, slowly bends and puts the log back in the fire place, and without giving so much as a look, he walks to Dino, jumping over the body that held a lot more hatred inside than any human should. Now that he is dead, Viktor wonders if the hatred will turn in to a tangible thing that will fall to the ground out of that broken skull and still haunt Viktor.

His father walks in through the front door, behind him, like bees that swarm a flower, the paramedics and the police surrounds them, even before he reach his brother. Viktor makes his way inside the room to Yuuri.

Paramedics work their way around Yuuri, Dino and Nikolai. Viktor watches in trepidation. He is unable to get up, unable to even move a limb. He wants to help, in any way he can. He wants to stop everyone from touching Yuuri and cover him in the safety net of his love. But it reminds him that he hadn’t been successful in keeping Yuuri safe at all. It reminds him that everything that happened to Yuuri, happened because of him.

A comforting hand grips his shoulder. He looks back to see the tall figure of his father tower over him. He bents over and cradles Viktor’s head protectively.

“Papa!”

“It’s over now.”

“Yuuri? Dino?”

“They’ll be fine. I’m sure.”

Viktor feels an instant relief, he has been waiting for someone to say that aloud.

_It’s finally over, Yuuri is safe, and so is Dino, Papa and Nikolai._

Viktor lets the thoughts envelop him just like the embrace Papa has over him now. They part when the stretchers that carry Yuuri and Dino are pulled up. Nikolai walks to him, rather drags his feet forward amidst the protest from the paramedics. They hug each other like long lost brothers. Viktor’s tears wet the back of Nikolai’s neck.

“It’s just a few bruised ribs, I’ll be fine” Nikolai answers the unspoken question.

Together they walk out, Viktor assuring the paramedics that he is fine, the blood is not his, and rather, it’s the blood of the man who wanted his blood.

They watch together, as the stretchers are loaded to the ambulances through the white snow outside, that is marked with blood and bullets. Some of Vlad’s men are loaded in to police cars with cuffed hands behind them, some of them to the ambulances. As Viktor observe the wrath of the war outside, thanks to the anger and hatred of two men, a paramedic steals the chance to wipe his face off the blood, check him for bruises that needs taking care of. There is nothing that needs much attention.  But inside, in his mind, and in his heart, where paramedics couldn’t see, Viktor still has a white hall of rage. It’s stirring up a nameless animal inside him, an animal that made him restless even when it is all over, an animal that begs him to avenge Yuuri’s sufferings. How could Vlad go away so easily? When Yuuri has suffered so much!

He still has a lot of questions, and answer the questions from Yuuri's family. He still has to learn the extent of Yuuri's damages, just because he is saved from captivity, it doesn't mean he is magically going o be fine. Will the physical damages affect his career? How will an experience like this affect the already anxiety ridden Yuuri?

 

Maybe, it only just started.

 


End file.
